7 Year Bitch

In 1996 it is really easy to forget what punk rock is. On Sunday March 10th I was reminded. The bar and grill was packed with stinky people, all fans of 7 Year Bitch. The four Seattle punk rock babes consisting of ,Selene Vigil (vocals) Val Agnew (drums) Elizabeth Davis (bass) and Roisin Dunne (pronounced ro-sheen) on guitar, slapped the crowd with their musical bitch slappers. No one left unhappy. Most left quite soggy.

This is a band who in the politically correct 90's have no need to go looking for causes because causes have an unfortunate way of finding them. There probably isn't an article written about this band that doesn't re-hash this quartets gloomy past. But sorry gloomsters this isn't going to be one of those for I was lucky enough to catch a glimpse of the real life bitches and there was really nothing gloomy about them. Even their manager, Minneapolis native Geoff something or other was a completely swanky cat (Managers are very well known for their complete assholishness). I met him at the show and after promptly complimenting me on my shirt he invited us to come along to breakfast with the band the following morning. The weather was perfect so we headed up Emmigration canyon to Ruths Diner where we had breakfast on the patio. A wonderful conversation of sex, lies and shoplifting ensued.

Elizabeth:the bombshell bassist with a bass cleft tattooed appropriately on her middle finger seemed the hungriest. "OK who all is ready to order ?"

Geoff: Well I'm looking for cadbury pizza.

E: Oh my gosh... (looking and reading from the menu) red flannel hash browns ... a Seattle specialty , (laughs from all). Uh yeah I'll have the Grunge burger and the Eddie Vedder hash browns please.
(every one laughs and I think I even heard someone snort...... It may have been me)

E: Pearl Jam did this free show at the park and we all went to it . Eddie threw his flannel into the crowd and there was a group of four or five young men that were battling over it as if it were there mother or something and they were so into it that they swirled around from one side of the crowd to the other so I got a picture of Val and Roisin behind them waving................. with Eddies flannel and the Battling Boys.

ME: (to Elizabeth) Did you mean it last night at the show when you said there is something crazy about Salt Lake or were you just doing the hello Cleveland thing?

E: Absolutely I meant it. I remember it from the last time we were here also, there is definitely something in the air here. I think it's the overwhelming evidence of repression. There is a college in Walla Walla Washington which is basically a community there because of a religion. Its this Baptist or Adventist college that I'm guessing is like your BYU. So this whole town is sort of dominated by this Adventists essence. Even if the people aren't Adventists they have to suffer with it. You know all the stores close up on Friday evening and are closed on Saturdays and the feeling I get here is very similar of that in that town.

ME: Well you should take a trip to Provo....... Fun is actually illegal there.

E: My dad lives in Utah. St.. George.

ME: I swear to you every band in the world has family in Utah.

VAL: Selene has hell-a-relatives in Utah.

ME: see I think that whole polygamy thing was more far reaching than once thought. So there's really nothing bad ever written about your band is there?

ALL: (as if to be insulted by the notion of public acceptance) that's not true. There are lots of bad things written about our band.

VAL: There was something just written about us in New York that said we had a "ferocious lack of musical talent."

SELENE: Details Magazine just said that the only reason why we're allowed to continue making records is because we have such a clever little name.

E: They also said that we were grunge. But the best was the review that said that Selene sang with the passion of Michael Bolton.

ME: Well that's a shitload of passion, but I'm sorry, Selene's hair is not nearly as Romantic.

ROISIN: They also said something like all of our song writing is basically Black Sabbath rip offs.

ME: Well I believe that's where Michael Bolton gets most of his grooves so........ no duh.

S: I think there was a Bon Jovi comparison once also.

ME: Damn I was going to write that. You know Roisin that makes you Richie Sambora.

R: I've got a lot of Richie in me waiting to get out, but then I' d have to date like Ally Sheedy or something.

ME: Wasn't she just a doll in that cute robot movie?

Right then I realize that I've been tapping my foot and rather enjoying that silly Christopher Cross song from Tootsie blaring over the intercom.

CRISTOPPHER CROSS: isn't it you..Its you..... Isn't it you....... Its you ........Isn't it you....... Its you ........I've been waiting for all of my life..............
I quickly check under the table and sure enough .... mine's not the only foot a tappin. My count was 5 out of 8.

ME: what kind of music did you listen to when you were little?

VAL: How little?

ME: Little little.

VAL: Shaun Cassidy and Kiss that was about the same time I guess.

ME: what about Leif Garret, did you fall for the whole Leif Garret sham? Cause he was really mackin Shaun Cassidys whole vibe.

VAL: Nah Leif did nothing for me it was Gene Simmons and Shaun Cassidy right next to each other on my wall over my bed.

ME: For the young men it was Gene and Farrah Faucett.

VAL: I used to have that poster of Gene sitting on his bike with his extend-a-tounge and his big demon boots hangin there. My mom hated that one.

ME: yeah well I even went so far as to nail some two by fours to the bottom of my addidas and painted dragon fangs on them. Only I couldn't ever really wear them because of the nails.

E: Speaking of Leif Garret ,he grew up in the same neighborhood as me. We'd see him around but he was really no big deal until he was famous, same with Rob Lowe, he had a big crush on my best friend. He'd sit there and check her out and flirt with her all the time and she was embarrassed that such a geek was the only guy with a crush on her. It was like oh gross Rob Lowe? Yuck.

ME : Oh the missed opportunities huh?

E: Actually my first encounter with the law involved Rob Lowe.

ME: some how that's not too surprising but please speak clearly into the microphone. Childhood dirt on Rob Lowe oh goody.

E: Well our neighbors were out of town and we snuck into there house. They had this big poster behind there bar that showed how to make Harvey wallbangers so we went behind the bar and made Harvey wallbangers. It was Rob Lowe his brother Chad and this girl Amy Rabishin. We played their records. We played Fleetwood Mac Rumors and the soundtrack to Saturday Night Fever drank Harvey wallbangers, used there tennis courts and ran around their house feeling all stealth you know.

R: Did he have a video camera?

E: No but he did do one kinky thing.. We were in their kitchen and there were these big tongs. He had them and was chasing Amy Rabishin (who developed really early) with the tongs as if he was going to tong her breasts.

ME: So how did the law get involved?

E: Well the neighbors came home and it was evident that people had been in the house and there was money missing so they called the police. The person that cleaned their tennis courts had seen us running around.

ME: With tongs, spatulas and other cookware no doubt.

E: Yeah so the cops came to my house and everything.

VAL: What did your mom do?

E: She had my back the whole way, I was totally lying and denying it and Amy was like lets just admit it, and I was like no way I didn't want to be accused of taking the money so we just said that we only used the tennis courts.

VAL: And they believed you?

E: the neighbors didn't but I guess the cops must have.

VAL: What about your mom?

E: I don't think so but she covered for me anyway which was pretty cool, but then I went to boarding camp.

VAL: I think we all have a klepto phase, I know I had mine. We had a Norweigian foreign exchange student that stayed with us one year and I used to sneak into his room all stealth and army style and steal money out of his wallet. Like hundreds of dollars. He of course caught on and started putting his money somewhere else. But it didn't take me long to find out that he had placed it on top of the closet. So I stole a couple more hundred dollars. Anyway, one day I reached up there to grab another hundred and there was this note that said "is this the right thing to do Val?

ALL: oh aaaahhhh busted

ME: So did that end your crime spree?

VAL: No it was on to department stores after that. We'd stick duffle bags in our socks and then go into the dressing rooms and be saying "oh that looks really cute on you " Meanwhile were huckin stuff in our duffle bags. That went on for about a year and then I stopped. I never got caught doing that though.

ME: Really? I haven't stopped yet really. In fact I think that petty thievery is more fun once you are older. People are less likely to suspect you ,and I' m not as nervous as I once was.

E: Last year I was really into the Nordstrom lingerie buy one steal two free sale, but lets change the subject to lying, Lisa our sound person has got the mother of all lies tell em Lisa

LISA: I faked sick when I was young because I absolutely hated school. I was smart enough to know the symptoms of a bad appendix, my mother took me to the doctor and had me checked but I kept up the lie all the way through .Well to make a long story shorter, The doctor ended up removing my healthy appendix and I missed a lot of school.

ME: Wow faking your way into surgery. That is the mother. But speaking of shoplifting and lying, do you guys want to hit some thrift stores before you leave? I mean not to shoplift unless of course you want too. But grid will actually pay for some stuff if you want to go.

And so off we went to some of Utah's finest thrift stores,and it didn't take long to tell the seasoned pros from the less seasoned. Selene (the least talkative of the group) immediately lost herself to snag the good shit. Roisin seemed to gravitate less to wacky shit and more to the simple vintage. Val looked at baby clothes and really fucked up stuffed animals. She found a little fuzzy yellow stuffed baby chicken with an electronic tweeter inside that made for a delightful birdie for the badmiton rackets Roisin had scored. I found some really groovy green and yellow silken seventies gym shorts that Elizabeth wrestled away from me which matched almost exactly the shorts Linda Ronstadt was wearing on the cover of an album Geoff the road manager was checking out.

But you know I can't really say how enjoyable it was to rest on the furniture at the Sugarhouse Deseret Industries directly under a sign which instructed us not to, with heavily tattooed punk rock girls with ripped clothing purple hair and what not just carrying on, swearing loudly and playing badmiton with an electronic fuzzy yellow tweety bird that sounded as if it was dying. I felt right at home, but I'll tell you, after reading what I've read about this band and listening to their honestly angst filled music, it was hard for me to believe that these were the same women, the same 7 Year Bitch that has been through a lot of really heavy shit. From losing original guitarist Stefanie Sargeant to drug related death to the abduction and murder of their close friend Mia Zapata It truly was nice to see how they've survived and even kept a good sense of humor.

I did ask a question of Selene that had been in my head since the show. I asked how it was to in a sense re-live these tragedies nightly as she sang music inspired by them.

She simply replied:
"Its not easy and its not hard its just what I do, its what I am."

I think that might be what is so appealing about this group. They are who they are and they don't make any pretense about it. That is what separates this whole new generation of wannabe punk rockers from the legitimate stuff, on the one hand you've got kids who want to play punk rock and on the other hand a band like 7 Year Bitch who end up playing punk rock not because they want too, but because they are.