Cursing is Fucking Terrible!!

So let's just get this out of the way right here and now. I fucking god damn HATE the use of fucking bad fucking words. To me, bad words are way way way --- really really really worse than good words. Why? Because by using them you immediately sift the loose and easy going fucking assholes from the rigid, uptight fucking assholes. That is NOT GOOD. Confusion is way better.

Let's just say that you are a nice, uptight, asshole, faggot like myself. Wouldn't it be better if we could hang out with easy going assholes and just blend in without getting all angry, red and shaky? And wouldn't it be better if those easygoing fucking jerk-dick assholes could at the very least, join us in our rage? They don't even feel rage. Fuck those easygoing pricks.

But back to being offended. Holy fucking shit, do I ever have a huge fucking problem with anyone saying faggot or nigger or spic or kike or dyke or camel jockey. I FUCKING HATE all of those words and I never would so much as fucking think them, let alone utter them or type them. They are horrible fucking words, especially if they hurt your fucking god damn feelings. Those words are ONLY used by "racists" and other dumb fucking cuntheads. But as awesome and funny as racism is, we shouldn't talk about it --- it's way better to pretend that everyone is exactly the fucking same. Seriously, why can't people be EXACTLY the same. We are all IDENTICAL. -- Shit, I can't even fucking tell us apart -- wait -- are you me? It's like I'm typing in a mirror.

ALL EXCEPT FOR THOSE FUCKING PUSSY ASSED FAGGOT FUCKS WHO ARE TOO EASY GOING TO GET OFFENDED SO THEY USE FUCKING BAD WORDS LIKE A BUNCH OF FUCKING ASSHOLES!! -- I can tell you guys from the rest of us. you aren't the same. FUCKING SMILEY ASSHOLES!!

But for all you people who are exactly like me and are offended exactly like I am by these terrible fucking words; you are ANGELS I tell you. What would the world be like if we weren't walking around being fucking offended all the fucking time? Who'd do all the admonishing?. You have to be offended if ya wanna admonish -- right? Admonishing is fucking awesome!!

This paragraph goes out to all my fucking easily offended, awesome white brothers and sisters. I am soooo sooo glad that WE get offended when people say NIGGER or WETBACK -- because everyone knows that niggers and wetbacks get their feelings hurt really easily and we need to be looking out for their feelings -- somebody has to -- poor little creatures, they can't do anything for themselves. They are so easily razzled and rattled. WE MUST PROTECT THEIR CUTE LITTLE ASSES!! LET THEM GO TO COLLEGE SO THEY CAN LEARN TO BE SUPERIOR AND EASILY OFFENDED LKE US!! We sure are a benevolent race -- it's such a good idea that we took all the power huh? White people are absolutely perfect, you'll NEVER find a white person using fucking curse words -- WHITE POWER!!

So I must say; faggots, DO NOT lighten up, STAY PISSED!! And I ain't just talking about men who have sex with men, I am talking about you dear faggot kike reader. You are a faggot as much as anyone else, we are all faggots --- but holy fucking christ, do we really need to use that ugly fucking offensive term? FAGGOT? the sound of it makes me want to cry -- it's terrible. My tears prove my humanity. Your dry eyes prove your insensitivity --- hello -- that's bad!!

I realize that I never even met most of you, but if you're a nigger like me, then you can imagine how awful it is for me to remember the lesson that we all were brainwashed into learning -- say it with me. "Sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me." what a fucking load of SHIT!! Once somebody said "cunt wagon" and I heard them. I swear to you my skull was cracked in half. NEVER adopt the "names will never hurt me" attitude, it's a pretty fucking unsound attitude and I suggest you fucking avoid it. Stay a cry baby! People love babies-!! In fact, stay exactly how you are unless you aren't offended by curse words THEN YOU BETTER FUCKING CHANGE AND START BEING OFFENDED YOU FUCK!!. I love wussies and pussies and queers and homos and girly girls who get all bent when they hear a bad word. They are the only people with feelings -- and they're usually same people who actually are awesomely racist too!! Yay!!. WHITE POWER!!

I know that most of the people who are reading this are totally hip, totally politically fucking correct and that is fucking great., because humanity starts where humor ends. Right? Right? Right? Huh -- ya fuckin' feel me? WE know that. What the fuck is wrong with all of these easy going fucking assholes who don't understand the pain that jokes can cause? JOKES MAY NOT BREAK BONES, BUT THEY DEFINITELY BREAK HEARTS!! STOP LAUGHING!! STOP GETTING ALONG!! STOP IT NOW!!

Ok I'll clam down. I know that you just need help becoming humorless. So I think I have an idea that can help you lose that sense of humor. If you aren't yet uptight enough to be truly fucking offended by bad language yet, do this little exercise. It's called:

30 steps to true human FEELINGS.

1. Launch your email program.
2. Type in all the fucking bad words that you can think of. ---
3. Type fucking ALL of them.
4. Type fucking HARD.
5. Fucking type in all caps.
6. Use lots and lots of fucking exclamation points!!!!!!
7. Type fucking NIGGER!!!
8. Type fucking FAGGOT!!
9. Type fucking ASSHOLE!!
10. Type fucking BITCH!!
11. Type fucking CUNT!!
12. Type fucking KYKE!!
13. Type fucking SPIC!!
14. Type fucking DAGO!!
15. Type fucking WOP!!
16. fucking KEEP GOING!!
17. Ok that's enough.
18. Fucking stop typing!!
19. Seriously motherfucker, stop motherfucking typing.
20. Now send the fucking message to everyone in your fucking email list.
21. Now fucking send it to yourself.
22. Send it marked "fucking urgent".
23. Send it straight into your fucking soul.
24. Now feel how much those fucking words hurt.
25. Feel them burn your motherfucking eyes.
26. Feel them break your motherfucking god damn cold motherfucking heart.
27. If you're not offended by now -- holy fuckin Jesus --
28. You're fucked.
29. You are way too fucking easy going.
30. Fucking laugh it up asshole -- you'll be laughing in HELL while we uptight assholes are finding newer more awesome ways to be offended with our fucking lord and fucking savior in HEAVEN.

Besides the wonderful idiots who get truly upset at bad fucking words, there is little I LOOOOVE more than awesome exercises like that cursing email exercise you just did.

Speaking of awesome retarded exercises for my gloriously brainless friends bound by disgust and contempt, "Starting Over" is my favorite show of all time. Finally, proof once and for all that women are not in anyway shape or form -- pathetic, gullible, and/or completely inferior to men. FINALLY.

fucking love,
merkley