The Tstinking Tsunami

First, as well as having nuts, I am nuts, I have almost as many personalities as I have nuts ( I have 7 testicles) -- two personalities of which I am aware are; the pragmatic realist merkley and the "fuck all yall" merkley. Both personalities are funny and extremely handsome. This little nugget was written by the "fuck all yall" merkley and is not in any way endorsed or supported by the pragmatic realist merkley. If you have any complaints, please address them to the fuck all yall merkley and he will promptly respond with --- "fuck all yall" -- it's fun.

Now on with the bullshit.

Fuck Tsunami Tstricken Asia.

When was the last time the tsunami part of Asia sent anything besides mail order brides and sex slaves to this country?

When we have a big hurricane does anybody from Sri Lanka rush over to hand out curry and mango chutney? -- No. When the World Trade Center was bombed, did anybody from Thailand do anything besides shoot ping pong balls out of their hoo hahs? -- No. When have any of those countries done shit for the USA? --- And before you answer, offers of bullshit hippie religions, wacky outfits or blowjobs by four year old boys or girls aren't offers one should seriously consider. In fact, about the only service that part of the world has ever offered this country is giving the stinky hippies a place to rave out and poop into holes in the ground. OK I admit that relieving us of our hippies does qualify as a legitimate service. But they ain't doing it on purpose so it doesn't count.

And now they complain about the help that they are getting -- they complain that the bags of food have the name of this country stamped on them, they complain that the USA isn't doing enough and they worry that the USA might actually demonstrate that the USA is the most cutest, giving, ass kickingest nation on the planet so they are restricting when and where US aid workers can go to offer Big Macs and diet vanilla Coke.

Not only that but most of these people are fucking Muslims. When is the USA gonna pull it's head out of it's ass and realize that helping Muslims does not make Muslims like this country any more than they did before. The US just recently saved a bunch of Muslims from genocide and certain death in Yugoslavia and freed them from an invader in Kuwait, only to be thanked with a big 9/11 fuck you.

And before any of you San Francisco Che Guevara t-shirt wearing brainless assholes start talking about how Islam is a misunderstood religion of peace I must remind you to pull your head out of your peirced butthole -- Islam has nothing good to offer anyone -- so shut up. There is even less evidence that they'd just love to live peacefully among the infidels. If you can't grasp that -- well fuck all yall -- start grasping.

Here's what America should have done when the tsunami struck; It should have said, " On this matter, The USA has officially decided to heed Islam's call to mind our own business."

Or the US could say -- hey -- listen, we'll help if you want -- but no more fucking bullshit about us being the devil or any other stupid shit -- and by the way -- there is a democratic vote set to happen in Iraq and we're just about sick and tired defending it and the millions of Iraqis who are excited about taking part in it from your stupid Muslim "insurgents" so, how about this, for every one of your "insurgents" that you call back to the homeland, we'll send over a bag of rice and a blockbuster video gift card. --- otherwise -- you are --- as requested -- on your own.

Oh yeah, one more thing --- George Bush made that tsunami and he can make another one so put that ping pong ball back up your butt and be nice.

By the way people -- get some perspective -- I don't want anybody whining about how it is uncool to make fun of the deaths of 150,000 people. There were 150,000 people at that big Sting concert in Brazil a few years ago and I know not one of your sorry hipster asses would have shed a tear if the tsunami struck them. Sometimes people have it coming --- isn't that what all yall were sayin about 9/11? -- yeah well fuck all yall.

...and fuck Brian Williams too.

merkley