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February 14, 2005

Homo Weddings: Let's Not Put the ______ Before the ______!

Again, I'm an individualist. I couldn't care less who fiddles with your hoohaa unless you have pictures or an ineresting stain for me to sniff. I also thought it was awesome when San Franciso's plastic haired yuppie mayor Gavin Newsome just went ahead and said --"Fags, marry the fuck out of each other." I voted for Gavin Newsome. I like him, he's a stand up yuppie.

Here's what I think: Homos should have the right to get married the same way they should have the right to commit suicide or stab themselves in the forehead.

Basically, it is retarded that suicide is illegal. It's the dumbest idea of all time. But even more stupid would be creating an application process for *legal* suicide. That seems to be what this issue is all about.

Please, somebody needs to explain to me how ANY marriage, fag or normal, benefits society -- err -- I mean ME. How does YOUR marriage to Sally, Roger, The Dumpling Twins, a block of Styrofoam or your own foot benefit ME? Why should I -- or any other yayhoo member of society sanction it in any way? -- Why do I need to be involved? Or more specifically, why do my tax dollars need to be involved? It seems that the original intention of marriage was to force sad religious families to raise their own fucking kids instead of shifting the burden to everyone else. But casual, pre-marital sex, plastic boobs and drive thru divorce blew the nutts off of that concept a long long motherfucking long ass time ago. Sweet.

Let's not get off on a tangent here. I know that many of the issues are about healthcare, hospital visits, next of kin issues etc... But I believe any human being should be able to determine whoever the fuck they want to be the beneficiary or administrator any of those things. That is a completely different issue and it's the one that we should be talking about. When your boobs or nutts fall off, or you get a gerbil stuck way way way up your butt and you kick the bucket, anyone whom you care to designate should be able to choose your casket, spread your gay ashes, cash in the policy and be done with your dead gay ass. Marriage should not be required for any of that. I should be able to appoint my dog or fucking Carrot Top as my designated unplugger of life support if I want. THIS IS THE ISSUE TO ADDRESS!! Not your fantasy of a fucking backyard homofest marriage. "Oh my gawd -- a champagne fountain!!"

I know you queens have just been DYING to put on that frilly white gown -- so DO IT! Run down the street in a rainstorm and pretend you're Gwen Stefani --- I don't give a fuck. And hey dykes, --- I know it's not just a cumber bun, It's fucking cumber FUN! Weeeeeeeeeeeeee -- it's fun to play dress up!!

Let's not involve the government with our parties --- pleeeeeaaaaase?

Without divorce being illegal, marriage serves absolutely NO purpose. Everybody already has the right to decorate the backyard, dress up and have a nice little party proclaiming your love for whomever you choose. WHY the fuck does the government need to acknowledge it?

Again, the issue here is not whether or not fags should be able to get married, the issue here is why marriage is a requirement for any of those other administrative life issues. If we really want more freedoms and more individualism we need to strip away stupid requirements rather than wasting time trying conform to them. Especially when the requirement is a tradition who's usefulness has long since expired.

I'm so romantic.

The only way I will ever support marriage of any sort is when divorce becomes illegal.

The homo wedding issue is a prime example of putting the proverbial cart before the horse -- or in this case, the float before the parade -- or, the gerbil before the Gere --- or the weenie before the lube ---- or the pirate before the butt --- or the munch before the carpet or ----- ummm ---- aw fuck it, you come up with one.

I wonder how many lesbians have anal sex with a strap-on.

Blogger invincibleoverlord is a gaywad.

I agree with you 100% Merkley. The Government should back off. It's retarded how retarded our President is on this issue. Until 1967 it was a felony in many states for people of different races to wed. Despite the fact that the US Supreme Court made that ruling in 1967, some states left "Anti-Miscegenation" laws on their books until 2000!


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