Michael Moore Melts Ending The Great Grease Famine of 2011!!
Have you seen the new spacey way they package tuna fish? It's in a foil envelope on which you could put a stamp and mail it to a pal. Tonight I ate precooked mexican ground beef packaged the same way.
Now I am in the future.
People are taller here. Boobs and lips are ENORMOUS and super super sticky. Electricity is made entirely from pig farts. Everyone has a pig. Now I'm hungry again.
Michael Jackson no longer has a nose. He had it replaced with a bubble machine. The bubbles are filled with sparkles and are actually gum. He looks happy. Finally his boogers are gum. No penis either. Lost it. Part of a plea bargain. Only speaks dolphin now. Something about blow holes.
Cold here. Global warming ended when Michael Moore melted and ended the Great Grease Famine of 2011. He was very very very very fat. Something about his farts changing global wind patterns -- his extra weight pulling the planet too close to the sun. Man was he ever fat. Like FAT fat. Super fat. Holy fucking crap he was fat. Fat. Fat. Anyway, grease has been officially renamed Michael Moore (due to his fatness and something about blow holes).
Donald Trump is dead. A lesbian negro apprentice winner bought a controlling share of his company and fired him (See what happens when you smash glass ceilings?). But that's not why he doused himself in "golden" pee and jumped off the The Trump Tower. Turns out he was just bananas. Oh yeah, he was a hermaphrodite too. Just kidding, the vagina they found in his pocket was Ivanas, he had it turned into a wallet when she died in the Great Grease Famine of 2011. Michael Moore ------- FAT.
Cell phones are all supositories now. I'm for it. Here in the future you have to check your blow hole -- I mean prostate everytime you dial the phone. Socialized medicine --- sweet. Thank goodness The Great Grease Famine of 2011 is over, the phones are smooth but everything seems just a little bit more sticky here.
Anyway, I'll be posting from the future until I figure out how to get back. If anyone has any questions or wants me to bring them back anything, let me know. Fat ---- Michael Moore is --- was.
Oops gotta run -- phone call -- vibrate -- blow hole --- nice.
How did I ever think of telling jokes about Moore, Jackson and Trump? -- holy crap I'm original.
