merkley???: I May Not Be God, But at Least I'm Real.: apogee mag interview

May 01, 2005

apogee mag interview

s if you don't get enough of my bullshit already, here is an interview conducted by the lovely Heather Bowden at apogeemag.com.

If I come across like an asshole, well, maybe it's because I'm the nicest sweetest man alive and I just hide it becuse one can't live life on the verge of tears and emotional destruction.

See how I just made you feel guilty for judging me as an asshole? See how I turned that back around on you? Yeah, I'm an asshole. That doesn't mean that you aren't an asshole if you don't look past it and love me anyway. YOU MUST LOVE ME! DO NOT RESIST!

Now loosen up that dress and let's take some sexy pictures.

That's all for now!
Don't get caught pretending you're not an asshole!

Your favorite ham sandwich,
merkley???

FUCK FRANCINE!!:

Ben is a gaywad.

I'd rather poke my eyes out with a jadded pickle fork than read that long interview.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:00 AM

Dashiell is a gaywad.

Merkley??? Is that picture really you. Goddamnit ... I think I just wet myself.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 12:01 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

ben,
me too...
words words words POOP ha ha, words words...

I know you only come because of your last name and sultry chicks and that's perfectly ok.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 12:07 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

dash,
when my mom was single back in the 70's she used to date a world famous hypnotist named Reveen, turns out, kids want to be like dudes mom dated rather than dear old dad.

In my regular life, I still look a bit like a cult leader -- just a smiling cult leader. more vegas magician, less hypnotist.

I'll send fresh pants.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 12:26 PM

lani is a gaywad.

um.
dude.
semantics?
you are the last guy i know who would use such a pompous argumentative tactic.
your candid approach is refreshing and effervescent, like efferdent- you keep the world's teeth clean of bullshit.
gnaw on that one.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:47 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

lani,
thank you for noticing that. i didn't think it was about semantics either.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:51 PM

amanwithanenormouspeniswhojustwantstobeloved is a gaywad.

yo merk i so sorry i post veddy veddy soon otay

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 6:22 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

enormous penis,
I hope you do! you're one of the best.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:17 PM

Deleted is a gaywad.

Merkley, in your photo...are those horns?

You know, I should wear my glasses more often.

I always thought the title of your blog was "I may not be good, but at least I'm real."

damn.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:28 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

mary,
horns? wow, could be, i thought two big pimples were festering. you may be right.

yeah, i was wondering why you put up with me, generally the christians don't care much for my kind. i just figured that you were either super cool or were trying to convert me, turs out you're just blind.

i like blind christians. seriously, i do.

at any rate, we are proof that satan and jesus can still be pals. i always thought they should make up and get along. eternity is too short for bickering.

thanks for stopping by!

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:37 AM

Ben is a gaywad.

You know, when you changed the number of comments title to "... fags give a shit" and you're the most frequent poster in the comments... well, that makes you head fag. I thought I raised you better than that son.

Don't be such a fag son.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 1:46 PM

gaby k is a gaywad.

Boring interview. Writing about art is boring. Boy, that paper I wrote was pretty boring too.

And a realization! Art school is a SCAM. Communists are making MONEY.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 1:59 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

IMPOSTER ben,

yes -- i am 6 times the fag you will EVER be.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 6:20 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

gaby,
i agree. art talk is snoresville. but i liked your paper. i like anything about ME!

ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME!!

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 6:21 PM

buttergun is a gaywad.

"yes I am excited about the whole Middle East thing." What a whack job.

"i agree. art talk is snoresville." Now poop and zits, you can really dig your teeth into that.

Microwave culture is only good for popcorn and blowing shit up.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 12:21 PM

Alex Blagg is a gaywad.

when you upload your soul to the internet, i'm going to bootleg it and it put it on napster for free.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 1:04 PM