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May 11, 2005

If I Was a Fake Turd...

If I was a fake boob, I'd have a little squeaker placed inside of me just like Rubber Ducky, then EVERYONE would be fond of me.




If I was a fake turd, I'd have a little squeaker placed inside of me and then i'd legally rename myself Rubber Dookie™ and the rest goes just like the last joke.



If I was a Rubber Dookie™, I could feasibly be re-inserted into a butthole, squeaked using only sphincter action, videotaped, and sent around the world as an email attachment sent by people who just barely discovered the internet and email.




If I was 1996, Poop emails, along with Bottles In a Vagina emails, Fish and Vegetables In a Vagina emails, and Dog Penises In a Vagina emails, would be attributed to me and I would forever be known as the year in which friends seared these unforgettable images into the minds of other friends because it was just way too easy and totally hilarious.



If I was 1997, I would be the year in which millions of emails were sent with the subject: PLEASE STOP SENDING ME POOP EMAILS!!



the end

Now here's yet ANOTHER picture I took of Yana.




That's all for now!

Don't get caught putting rubber ducks up your butt!

Your favorite freelance pediatrician,
merkley???

FUCK FRANCINE!!:
Blogger Deleted is a gaywad.

Ha! diaper humor.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

It's very very advanced. I know.

 

Blogger Dashiell is a gaywad.

HEY! That girl is not wearing a shirt!

 

Anonymous bryon is a gaywad.

Dood, doesn't she know how dirty your couch is!? I wouldn't lay on that thing nude ... not to mention all the other nude girls you've had laying around on it (I guess I did mention it).

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

dash,
it's an invisible shirt. i'd never even think of looking at a woman with no shirt who wasn't my legal wife.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

byron,
see comment above -- BUT even if she was topless, that white thing is a nice fake fur cover that gets washed everytime i do a whites load.

i am a verrrry clean person.

other girls? what other girls -- where?

 

Blogger Ben is a gaywad.

I'd eat the corn out of her shit!

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

Imposter ben,

now that's just down right gross.

but if you'd like, i'll try to arrange it.

 

Anonymous gaby is a gaywad.

oh merkley, you're so crazy. potty humor, hyuck!

 

Blogger Bridget is a gaywad.

yes, but it's the thinking man's potty humor.
Tip for plastic dookie lovers:
Run it through the dishwasher once in a while- nothing looks faker than dusty poops!

 

Blogger Toms Thumb is a gaywad.

Rubber Dookie, you're my best friend?

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

gabs,

you love the poop.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

bridget,
i'm glad somebody around here understands how deeply intellectual this all is.

and you're right. a shiny turd is a happy turd.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

thumb,

dookie likes you too.

on a related note, i'd much rather give birth to bert than ernie.

 

Anonymous Billy is a gaywad.

4 white kids, 35 toy ducks, a mandible with a girl attached and a baby mulatto walk into a bar…

 

Anonymous Billy is a gaywad.

Sorry, make that 36 toy ducks and a mug shot of an elephant...

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

billy,

that's such an OLD joke. sheesh.

 

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