If I Was a Fake Turd...

If I was a fake boob, I'd have a little squeaker placed inside of me just like Rubber Ducky, then EVERYONE would be fond of me.

If I was a fake turd, I'd have a little squeaker placed inside of me and then i'd legally rename myself Rubber Dookie™ and the rest goes just like the last joke.

If I was a Rubber Dookie™, I could feasibly be re-inserted into a butthole, squeaked using only sphincter action, videotaped, and sent around the world as an email attachment sent by people who just barely discovered the internet and email.

If I was 1996, Poop emails, along with Bottles In a Vagina emails, Fish and Vegetables In a Vagina emails, and Dog Penises In a Vagina emails, would be attributed to me and I would forever be known as the year in which friends seared these unforgettable images into the minds of other friends because it was just way too easy and totally hilarious.

If I was 1997, I would be the year in which millions of emails were sent with the subject: PLEASE STOP SENDING ME POOP EMAILS!!

the end

Now here's yet ANOTHER picture I took of Yana.

That's all for now!

Don't get caught putting rubber ducks up your butt!

Your favorite freelance pediatrician,
merkley???