happy birthday mom!

First of all, I am drunk.

Second of all it is my mother's birthday today.

Third of all, I just realized that probably nobody will ever love me like my mother.

Fourth of all, my mother could not be less interested in anything that really happens in my mind, heart, or soul. My mother is married to Jesus Christ, a fictional character from a really boring, super duper fucked up book.

Fifth of all --- yeah --- sorry to bum you all out. But this is my blog!

It is my mind.

It is my heart.

It is my soul.

Love it if you will.

If not,

FUCK OFF!!!

That's all for now!

Don't get caught revealing anything real about yourself! Just keep the jokes going!

Your pathetic blubbering drunk on his mommy's birthday, (boo fucking hoo)

merkley???

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