merkley???: I May Not Be God, But at Least I'm Real.: Happy Fag Day!!

June 26, 2005

Happy Fag Day!!

For all my homo friends (and I have at least one (I think)), but this is not to them but anyone and everyone who is so in the dark that they can't see their hand (job) in front of their face:

If you can't understand that boners and buzzing hoo haws will happen with or without your approval;
FUCK OFF!!
And if you don't understand that;
FUCK OFF TWICE!!
I'm as straight as a curvy penis but I couldn't be more serious, and I couldn't be more full of shit -- --- I mean love, no. SHIT --- ha ha ha SHIT!! Actually, I am filled with MEAT AND BONES AND BLOOD AND POOP AND BILE!!! YAY! YOU TOO!! WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON!!

But I'm not saying I have a boner or anything because I definitely don't. Well I didn't when I started typing that sentence anyway, I don't really have one now either, but you know how when you start talking about getting a boner you sometimes kinda do get a boner? Yeah, well that's kinda what it was like, it wasn't sexual or anything. Look you people are starting to make me uncomfortable. Seriously, Stop thinking about my genitals. It's creeping me out.

Left: Elvis Presley Right: Some useless Gay Homo Fag.
Awwwe, how precious, two stars wearing stripes. It's like 1776 all over again. Where is my wig? BETSY!! Put on some disco, take off your shirt and get over here and star spangle my boner!

People, seriously, time to grow up!! Stop thinkng about my privates. We're not even married.

As every single person who reads this piece of shit blog sighs "duh".

EGADS!

Holy Dykes! That's all for now!

Don't get caught giving your handsome pool boy/girl/transgenderish/whatchamacollie a hand job (or rubber hose job) as you talk shit on the gays!!

Your Master of Preaching The Obvious,

merkley???

Now go hug a FAG!! Or at least beat one up!

Look, let's just get one thing straight, (get it?)I live in San Francisco. I'm gonna be talking about the gays.

FUCK FRANCINE!!:

Anonymous is a gaywad.

dood,
nobody cares about fag day ya dumb homo! Shut up and write something funny.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 11:58 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

you're right. poor homos.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 12:06 AM

funkybiznatch is a gaywad.

Fag Day, Fag Day, Crazy, Colorful Fag Day.
Fag Day, Fag Day Eat Them Up Yum!

Reading this made me think of the fish heads song...I don't know why. But it did.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 6:44 PM

Bridget is a gaywad.

Merkley and I went out for slabs of meat to celebrate how ungay we are.
too bad we couldnt prove our ungayness in an un-gay way..
huh?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 7:00 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

somebody said there was a problem with posting comments. lets just see about that with this little test.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:45 PM

Bridget is a gaywad.

did we or did we not have a completely hetro homo day?
merkley? Dave? Buddy?
I feel so lost, why won't you answer?

speak to me

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:54 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

funky,

funny, everytime i hear the fisheads song i thing of lesbians.

weeeeeiiiird.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 1:34 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

bridget,

slab of meat? slab of meat? is that what you call that thing you were doing to me with that beef tounge?

it's really not that creative. you can come up with a better name for it than that.

that shit could blow up and get HUGE!

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 1:37 AM

Dashiell is a gaywad.

This post has been removed by a blog administrator.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:34 AM

Dashiell is a gaywad.

I don't trust fags. Anyone who doesn't like vagina is sick and twisted.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:37 AM

Wendy is a gaywad.

I'm able to post! What did I miss? Oh yeah, are all lesbians boobs that ugly? (whew, I've been wanting to get that off my chest)

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 1:54 PM

fugusashi is a gaywad.

Uh, thanks, Wendy. This is a picture of me and my sorority sisters celebrating fag day here in Texas. I'm the third dyke from the left. Merkley swore he wouldn't post this on the internet.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 3:52 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

wendy,

no, definitely not. lot's of lesbians have terrific boobs, unfortunately just not the ones in the gay parade. also, some lesbians have penises for boobs and some have testicles for boobs and some have cancer for boobs.

but we don't talk about cancer because it's tooooo funny and i'll never be able to stop giggling.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:19 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

paula,

i thought you said "please post this picture of me on the internet blog"

whatever, damage is done.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:20 PM

William Bunkton is a gaywad.

'two stars wearing stripes. It's like 1776 all over again'

ha ha ha!

also, I still can’t post on your blog. I don’t even know how you are reading this because it didn’t get through at all.

and as for gays... as long as they don’t get all cry baby when I make fun of them like I do to absolutely everyone else I welcome them with open arms. (if they are men, the lebanese ones just spit in my eye and kick me with boots and call me 10 rapists in one)

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 6:41 PM

Krista is a gaywad.

Your blog is all sorts of amusing!!

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 8:25 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

Dash,

Vaginas are terrific things.

I admit that i a'm rather suspicious of anyone who does not enjoy them.

It's like not liking --- umm --- a soft cat or ummm a pastrami sandwich or ummm a warm peach or ummmm a stinky hole or ummmm a warm bag of liver with a hole punched in it or ummm a warm breeze on your leg in the middle of the night or ummm an oily face thumpin you in the nuts or ummm a hard prickly ball of goose meat with a bomb in it that blows up and mutilates your right hand when you think about fish (which is really bad because you are right handed and you masturbate with that hand while thinking about fish and now what the fuck are you supposed to do? THAT FUCKING GOOSE MEAT!!! NEVER TRUST GOOSE MEAT....

wait... what were we talking about?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:14 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

Krista,

Thanks!

I'm sorta amused by all the sorts of amusing too -- sorta.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:15 PM

Krista is a gaywad.

you should be, you made it and its sorts.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:29 PM

Sue is a gaywad.

I want photos of that protester freak with the saline filled scrotom! Did I spell scrotom right? He runs around with some alf looking guy. You know who I mean?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 2:19 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

sue,
my friend alex blagg has a picture and little post about all that nuttsack tom foolery right here

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 3:36 AM

Sue is a gaywad.

that is the best thing EVER in the whole history of the fucking world!!

I love the nutsack grandpa!!

I'm coming to SF just to see him.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:44 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

sue,

well, when you get here and track the old fella down, let me know. i'd like to poke that little cornish game hen with a sharp piece of wire or a letter opener or something.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:48 AM

Kevin G is a gaywad.

Yes, this is your old friend Kevin. You may use me as back up on your porta-potty drama. After all, I was a witness at your trial, I'm more than willing to be your witness now.

The only reason I drop by your blog now and then is to see if you've come "out" yet. Other than that, you can eat Chico's poo for all I care.

What about the marshmallow story, have you ever written that one up? That one almost got us both arrested!

Love-Kevin

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 3:23 PM

The Snakehead is a gaywad.

"I'm as straight as a curvy penis."

Haha Hahaha Hahahaha Hahahahahahahahahahahahaa...

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 7:33 PM

Satan is a gaywad.

I hugged a friggin Gay and now I have a sexual harrasment suit filed against me. I guess I shouldn't have taken him from behind and said 'My little Merkley wants me to hug you!'

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 11:43 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

KEVIN!

Great. Those stories are forth coming. I could have an entire separate blog dedicated in whole to the shenanigans of which you were part.

I know you aren't much of a bandwagoneer, but holy shit. how enjoyable would i find a blog by KEVIN G? (and i with hold his last name only because i know he has some fine googling relatives who would be a bit dismayed to land here..)

never in my life have i met a person with as many great stories as you.

you must jot them down for the general welfare of all mankind, . -- or fuck, of all people, you need a VIDEO blog. how else are you gonna tell the story of the worlds worst mime?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 1:00 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

Snakehead,

So are you a snakes head or a head made out of snakes?

i don't want to be turning into no pillar of no god damned salt,

ha ha -- i said PILLAR.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 1:03 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

Satan,

the gay probably thought you said that your MERKIN wanted you to hug him, MERKIN meaning a pubic hair wig (no joke, look it up)

at any rate, that's one uptight gay!

ha ha -- i said TIGHT and UP.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 1:08 AM

The Snakehead is a gaywad.

I'm Medusa's brother. I turn people into stone. I was not featured in all those crappy fables because I was, and still is, too freaking awesome.

You may now bow before me.

Just don't look at my eyes.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 1:55 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

snakey
i wouldnt know where to bow. my eyes are firmly shut. but watch out. i am swinging this bat like a mad man.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:15 PM

The Snakehead is a gaywad.

If you think a bat swung by a mad man can take me down, you're a FOOL!

Silly mortal human.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 7:50 PM