Hooray for Brian Peppers!!

Hey! Let's have fun in honor of one of my biggest heroes, Brian Peppers, who is so deformed (differently formed) from a condition known as Apert's syndrome that he occasionally gets arrested for exposing himself to little girls and strangers because, let's face it, when a man is so handsome, sometimes the only right thing to do is SHARE! Sound fun? Great.

Today's jokes will be in form of a quiz because quiz rhymes with jizz and jizz is downright FUN especially when it might be Brian Peppers' jizz. HOORAY!!!

1. Brian Peppers is:

A) handsome.

B) sausage.

C) handsome sausage.

D) The entire cast of Mississippi Burning ground up and crammed into a pig intestine making him an Incredibly Socially Conscious and Handsome Sausage Conflicted with his Desire for Social Justice, Racial Unity and his Lifetime Membership in the KKK!

E) The answer would be D but it's redundant because it is already mentioned that he is handsome and/or sausage in A, B, C, and D, Learn how to make a quiz Queernutts!

Answer:

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E!

Brian Peppers is a CABLE NETWORK SPECIALIZING IN BEAUTIFUL STARS AND HOLLYWOOD GLAMOUR! HOOOOORAY FOR BRIAN PEPPERS!

2. Brian Peppers tastes like:

A) sausage.

B) basil Sausage.

C) Toni Basil's Sausage. (OH MICKEY, YOUR SO FINE, YOUR SO FINE YOU BLOW MY MIND, HEY MICKEY!!)

D) rotten eggs.

E) rotten egg, basil, pepper sausage.

Answer:
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E!

Brian Peppers tastes like ECSTASY a WONDERFUL DRUG THAT WHEN INGESTED CAUSES ONE TO WANT TO MAKE LOVE TO EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING AND WHERE THE HELL ARE MY GLOW STICKS?!! DID I LEAVE THEM IN THE CAR? HEY YOU GUYS, I GOTTA GO BACK TO THE CAR, I THINK I LEFT MY GLOW STICKS IN THE CAR!!! HOORAY FOR BRIAN PEPPERS!!! LICK BRIAN PEPPERS!! DON'T FORGET YOUR GLOW STICKS IN THE CAR!! HOORAY!!

3. Brian Peppers' penis looks like:

A) sausage.

B) Michael Jackson's sausage

C) a moldy bell pepper

D) a can of Dr. Pepper

E) meatloaf.

Answer:
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E!

Brian Peppers' penis looks like THE PORTUGUESE WORD THAT MEANS "AND" AND ALSO THE WORD "IS" SO LONG AS YOU PUT THAT ACCENT THINGY ABOVE IT, WHICH MEANS: BRIAN PEPPERS' WEE WEE, THAT HE EXPOSES TO LITTLE GIRLS, IS AS HARMLESS AS THE THIRD AND NINTH MOST POPULAR WORDS IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE EXCEPT IT'S IN PORTUGUESE AND THE PORTUGESE ARE KNOWN FOR THEIR WONDERFUL BASIL PEPPER SAUSAGE!! HOORAY FOR COMPLETELY COMMON PORTUGESE BASIL PEPPER SAUSAGE WEENIES ATTACHED TO BRIAN PEPPERS!! HOORAY BRIAN PEPPERS!! SHOW YOUR SAUSAGE WITH PRIDE BRIAN PEPPERS!! I WANT TO LICK YOU AND MAKE LOVE TO EVERYTHING ON YOUR E! ENTERTAINMENT TELEVISION CABLE TV NETWORK!! CAN YOU INTRODUCE ME TO JOAN RIVERS?? I BOUGHT SOME EAR RINGS FROM HER COLLECTION ON QVC THEY TURNED MY BALL SACK GREEN!! THAT FUCKING WHORE FOSSIL RIPPED ME OFF!! HOORAY FOR BRIAN PEPPERS!!!

End of quiz.

Now tally up your score. If you scored above 50 percent that means you got two of the questions right and one of them wrong or you got all of them right so, better do your home work next time, or, congratulations, whichever applies. In both cases you know Brian Peppers fairly well and are probably mad at me because it seems like I am making fun of him, but I swear to you I am not, in fact he is lying here in bed with me and he is drawing words on my back ---- heee he heee heooo -- he just spelled "boner".

If you scored below fifty percent that means you got two of them wrong or all of them wrong in either case you don't know shit about Brian Peppers so you better think twice before you talk shit about him because what if you had Apert's Syndrome? Would you be a Handsome Socially Conscious Sausage who is a Succesful Cable Network and has a Common "AND (except in Portugese )" Type Penis that when Licked Makes Everybody Feel Like Making Love and Where Are Your Glow Sticks? Did you ever think of that? I didn't think so. Step off Holmesy.

That's all for now!

Don't get caught Peppering your Brian Peppers and licking an E! Sausage!

Your Favorite QVC Shopping channel host,

Joan Rivers.

I mean merkley???

...as he skips off down the middle of the street (only metaphorically because he is actually cuddled in bed with Brian Peppers) singing at the top of his lungs:

"Be a Pepper! Lick Brian Peppers!"