merkley???: I May Not Be God, But at Least I'm Real.: What Happened Here???

June 11, 2005

What Happened Here???

We live in a new day, where conversations are routinely recorded and saved on disks. Here is one from yesterday. I honestly don't know what happened. I invite you -- no --- ask you -- wait -- BEG you, my friends, random strangers, mortal enemies and the Queen of England (I'm pretty sure she reads my blog) to analyze this conversation and tell me what the fuck my problem is. --- or, maybe I don't really have a problem, I honestly don't fucking know.

The conversation was on aol IM.

Woman: hi
Woman: do you like cheap trick?
merkley???: sure
1:25 PM
merkley???: mostly for memories
merkley???: i'd never seek it out
Woman: i have a song that's been stuck in my head for a few days now
merkley???: which?
Woman: mandocello i think it's called
Woman: do you know it?
merkley???: i'm not sure
merkley???: how do the words go?
Woman: iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, i can hear you laughing. but you're a million miles away or your near
Woman: but it keeps starting with a long drawn out iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
merkley???: hmmn
Woman: iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii know the thoughts your thinking
1:30 PM
Woman: i dont know
Woman: maybe you wouldn't know it
merkley???: yeah

(a few minutes pass)

merkley???: i just pulled it up on itunes
merkley???: i dont recognize it
Woman: ok. well nevermind then
1:35 PM
merkley???: did you have more to say about it?
Woman: it's been stuck in my head for a few days
merkley???: where did you hear it?
Woman: well i have the cd but i always forget about it
Woman: but the other night at my friend XXXXXX's when we played records all night we listened to that
Woman: and he just told us a story about it so we listened to it again
Woman: and ever since, it's been in my head
1:40 PM

(a few minutes pass)

merkley???: funny
merkley???: i just downloaded a cover version of that song by concrete blonde and now i remember the original
Woman: hahaha
Woman: weird
Woman: like you didn't recognize the orginal
merkley???: the itunes clip was too short
Woman: oh oh
Woman: i see
1:45 PM
Woman: well anyway, that song is a major guilty pleasure of mine
Woman: as are most cheap trick songs
merkley???: why guilty?
merkley???: there is no guilt in music
Woman: there is when you listen to the same song like 300 times in a row
merkley???: guilty implies that you aren't supposed to like it
Woman: i don't care what it implies
Woman: it's a figure of speech
merkley???: i know
merkley???: perhaps we hear the figure of speech differently
Woman: perhaps
1:50 PM
merkley???: guilty pleasure has always implied that you would be ashamed to admit it -- like say you are a really big fan of the spice girls and all of your friends think you are lame because of it
Woman: i know what it means
merkley???: ok
merkley???: i just never heard of anyone being ashamed or embarassed about cheap trick
Woman: is there a point you are trying to prove?
merkley???: jesus
merkley???: clam down
Woman: b/c i'm not sure why we are still discusing my choice of words
merkley???: no
merkley???: i'm trying to understand what you mean
merkley???: is that wrong?
Woman: no, but i don't mean anything important by it
Woman: i wasn't even thinking about it when i said it
merkley???: well then its ok to ask what you meant?
Woman: but you didn't ask what i meant
Woman: you told me why what i said was not what i meant
merkley???: i said "why guilty?"
merkley???: thats a question
Woman: and told me there is no guilt in music
merkley???: then i gave my definition
Woman: which implies that what i said was wrong
merkley???: oh brother
merkley???: you are unquestionable
Woman: no. but i don't really think this is a very important issue
merkley???: i wasn't insulting you
Woman: like one that needs to be dissected and analyzed
merkley???: so then why the big deal?
Woman: b/c i don't like to obsess over something that i don't even care about
1:55 PM
Woman: i'd rather you pick apart my thoughts on something i even consider
merkley???: i will refrain from getting clarification or starting conversation in the future
merkley???: sheesh
Woman: there we go with the all or nothing
merkley???: it was a simple question followed by a simple statement of my point of view
Woman: at first
merkley???: and then you got all defensive
Woman: it could have ended when you said "perhaps our definitions are different"
Woman: i said "perhaps"
merkley???: but then we both continued the discussion
Woman: i'm not defensive about this in particular
Woman: just that most of what i say gets this treatment
merkley???: huh?
merkley???: i have no idea what you are talking about
merkley???: what is so wrong with me having a discussion about the figure of speech "guilty pleasure"?
Woman: b/c often times your "discussions" come off as lessons
merkley???: for all i know you think cheap trick is lame and for losers
merkley???: and so you turn around and give me the lesson instead?
merkley???: i dont get it
Woman: i don't think i gave any lesson
merkley???: you are giving me one now
Woman: other than telling you i don't care too much about this subject
merkley???: about how to communicate
2:00 PM
Woman: step #2 reverse the accusation
merkley???: nice
merkley???: step three
merkley???: identify the subjects problem
merkley???: step 4
merkley???: there he goes again
Woman: no that was the first step
Woman: then once the subjects problem is identified
Woman: you reverse it and pretend the it's the problem identifyers problem
merkley???: look how you are turning this into my character flaw
Woman: oh, i thought you loved doing things like this
Woman: my mistake
merkley???: and i was just getting clarification on whether or not you thought it was LAME to like cheap trick
Woman: if you don't we can stop at any time
Woman: well i don't
Woman: so there
merkley???: good

(a few minutes pass)

merkley???: wtf?
merkley???: i have no idea what that was about
merkley???: please identify where i was wrong or preachy or whatever set you off

(a few more minutes pass -- enough time for me to re-read it twice)

2:05 PM
merkley???: whatever
merkley???: read it again
merkley???: i wasnt being a jerk
merkley???: you were
2:10 PM
Woman: i'm really not interested in arguing about who is at fault either
Woman: chances are we would read it and view it the same way
Woman: considering only 5 minutes has passed

Much later, after a nice meal with some of my best and oldest friends, I made the mistake of bringing the conversation up again JOKINGLY and long story short -- it went the same way only worse and we ended up both stomping off in opposite directions.

So? Thoughts? Am I a fuckhead? Our conversations seem to go like this a lot. I don't know why. I'm asking. Teach me people.

That's all for now,

Don't get caught blah blah blah,

Your blah blah blah,
merkley???

FUCK FRANCINE!!:

Anonymous is a gaywad.

merkley???
she sounds like every woman i ever knew.
i like how she says she won't go back and read it even though you know that she probably did go back and read it (see the time). it's obvious she was trying to end the conversation without admiting to being completely irrational, insecure and defensive.

what you should learn from this is to never ever challenge a woman on anything ever ever.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:51 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

anony,
thanks. you are probably right.

who are you?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:56 AM

The Bees Knees is a gaywad.

I don't think you're a jerk in this conversation and I don't think *she* does either! I think she thinks your a jerk for other convos (which the readers arent privy too) and she's draggin that pent up anger into this conversation.

Example:
WOMAN: its just that most of what i say gets this treatment

WOMAN: often times your "discussions" come off as lessons

You've pissed her off in the past by being preachy or whatever and she's just waiting to call you on it again, even if it's not what you're doing.

I do this all the time with my IM buddy Smith. I am just waiting for him to bring up certain things so I can flip out.

Remember you once told me that if somethings bothering me too much, I'm just not ignoring it enough?

Et tu, Brute.

ps: I think Brutus was a red head too

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:13 AM

Anonymous is a gaywad.

who i am doesn't really matter, what you are looking for is unbiased opinion right?

right.

anyway, another thing i noticed was that it should be obvious to her that you weren't attacking her and that you probably really like her. who else would take the time to look up and download a song just to follow another persons line of conversation? did she not notice that?

that's what you get for being interested in a girl.

you cant talk to a woman the way you talk to a man.

for example, when you said "why guilt" you have used one of her words. don't do that. in ordre for a womans brain to function properly, the door must be opened completely and all answers in the universe must be available to her not just a specific idea for a specific moment. if you really wanted an answer, you should have said: "ha ha ha ha, you are sooooo totally right, say fine woman, tell me more about whatever is on your mind, mine is empty, please fill it with your thoughts. you are wonderful."

see the big difference? you are asking a question, but it isn't challenging in any way.

another option would have been to tell her to shut the fuck up and listen. if you are gonna teach a woman a lesson about something, it's better to scare the fuck out of her. chicks only like authority if it means they might get fucked. your sensitivity in this situation was totally gay.

male sensitivity is the fastest way to dry out a vagina.

basically, either be a pussy and be owned or be a dick and own the pussy. those are your options.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:14 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

holly,
true. but she would NEVER admit to bringing something up later or having residual annoyance dragged into a new conversation. in fact, last night, as we argued on a street corner she was totally pissed that i was even discussing this earlier conversation. she said,

"well you should have brought it up then"

but of course when i did bring it up then she refused to discuss it. there is truly no debating this woman on anything. when she says something, it's gospel. no discussion allowed.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:22 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

anon

well, you certainly have some points although you sound a bit sexist, i don't believe all women are like that. what about women who go around with little skinny emo dudes? surely women like that dont want to be manhandled.

but you are right, in my experience, nothing "drys up a vagina" faster than emotional availability.

how does your "anonymous" status increase your credibility as "unbiased"?

just say who you are.

do i know you?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:29 AM

Wendy is a gaywad.

Merkley! When did you get married? Congratulations! If you are registered somewhere, let me know and I will mail out the napkin rings ASAP.

This is the gig, she was in a bad mood, she was looking for an argument, being a woman, I know this to be factual. (see all crap from me below) Sometimes women know they are wrong and will not admit it until much, much later when the blood stops flowing, or their hair is ok, or the dishes are done or until the guy they are torturing goes away for a while. You two sound close, she can pull this and get away with it, it's love, duh. Give her space she'll be nice tomorrow and maybe even admit she was being irrational and silly.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:37 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

wendy,
it's unlikely i will ever hear from her again. especially if/when she reads this blog.

but yes. i do think it has something to do with something to do with something to do.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 11:02 AM

NiceGuy is a gaywad.

"Woman" is obviously quite touchy about Cheap Trick.

Cheap Trick are from Rockford.

Rockford is consistently ranked as one of worst places to live in the country.

So maybe she is just bitter about her hometown.

A guy I knew in grade school now "walks blocks" in Rockford.

Illinois has some shit towns: Aurora, Rockford, East St. Louis ( = toxic waste dump), Gary (practically in Illinois)...if it weren't for Chicago, it would pretty much another dumpy Midwest state filled with corn and Cleetuses driving pickups.

I don't know where I'm going with this.

San Francisco is way much better, so you should feel superior to Cheap Trick and the woman (if she's from Rockford?).

Bottom line: I don't think the female sex in general enjoys contentious debate and discussion as much as the male.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 1:51 PM

Digitalicat is a gaywad.

You've got the nuts to ask us "Am I a fuckhead?" Isn't that like wearing a "kick me" sign?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 3:48 PM

Wendy is a gaywad.

Wait, wait, wait a minute...I've been really thinking about this and trying to see it thru her eyes. Maybe she was sending you a subliminal message by discussing the song with you. Do the lyrics have a message intended for you, and maybe she was hoping you might get the message and you went off on all this "guilty" crap which was WAAAY off topic for her? She kept trying to get you to stop and get back on topic. She wanted to talk about that song and Cheap Trick. By saying it was her "guilty pleasure" she was telling you she really, really likes the song and maybe you should like it too. See? I think she very much likes you and wants you to like her. I hope you two make up.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:31 PM

gabrielle is a gaywad.

cheap trick is a really, really stupid thing to talk about on instant messenger, nevermind bicker about. a discussion of the metaphor of guilty plea...oh fuck it.

you are too a jerk. but in a pleasant, funny way, like an ornery bum or something.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 11:00 PM

bryon is a gaywad.

What a bunch of brown-nosers. Sheesh!

You were being a complete dick! You were completely trying to be the "intellectual hero," and save her from any future self-induced embarrassment - so you thought, but really all that just = being a dick. I do that kinda crap all the time. Like a girl's going to be impressed by how many times I correct her on her own stupidity. Yeah, it doesn't work. Plus, even if you really were genuinely just trying to figure out what she meant (Cheap Trick is "lame and for losers." There's no question about that. So, from your definition, she did use the term correctly. I know it, you know it, she knows it.), that's the inherent problem with type - it's nearly impossible to truly read the writers emotion, tone of voice, etc. So, misunderstandings are bound to happen, and I don't know that more "dick" is the way to clear your name.

And to all your buddy's commenting with crap like, "Sounds like women, those bitches is soooo dumb." Those fags are obviously just trying to get a ride on the merkley??? express. Come on!!

Yeah ... you were being a dick. But we all do if from time to time.

Go easy on me.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 8:55 AM

Lala is a gaywad.

(a) I completely agree with the Illinois comment, and think it was a valid point.

(b) One of my pet peeves is when someone calls something their "guilty pleasure," but somehow come off that they're bragging about it. I'm kitschy, I like cheesy pop, look at me! [It's right up there with my annoyance of the overuse/misuse of the word ironic, which will drive me into a violent frenzy.] Not that Cheap Trick is necessarily cheesy pop, because I like Cheap Trick. I'll own up to anything I listen to, and if it is literally a guilty pleasure, I won't tell anyone that I listen to it.

(c)Obviously she had her period. You should have called her out on that, then she definitely would have gone off the deep end.

p.s. I'm a girl, I should know.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:08 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

NiceGuy,

Woman isn't from Illinois, but she is from a town many consider to be the buthhole of california if not the entire west coast.

I'm don't know where I'm going with this either, but I do feel a little more educated about Cheap Trick and Illinois.

and i think i might agree with you partly about the part where you said that women don't enjoy debate as much as men. it's not so much that they dont enjoy debating, it's that they don't enjoy following any rules of debate and they certainly don't enjoy losing.

btw if you want to accuse me of mass generalization, you are totally wrong. everything i say when i say "WOMEN" applies to every single woman on the face of the planet because women are all EXACTLY THE SAME WITH NO VARIATION WHATSOEVER!

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 11:05 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

Digikitten,

Nuts are to be cracked.

what else is there to say?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 11:07 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

wendy,

nah, she's not the type for that subliminal crap. that kind of thing would make her vomit.

but yeah, i'm sure we will be friends after she gets finished disemboweling me and turning my balls into PEE - NUTT - BUTTER, after she reads this Monday morning.

If i don't post for a few days after monday morning, call the cops, I am probably dead. she is the one who killed me.

maybe this is all like that Suicide By Cop Thing. only its Suicide By Chick on The Rag.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 11:13 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

Gaby,

"Ornery Bum" is soooo right, and it totally Matches my appearance these days.

BTW, It's my Birthday tomorrow whicch of course means i have about 36 hours left of being right about EVERYTHING.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 11:17 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

Bryon.

Yup. You nailed it. I was being a total dick. "Inellectual heroism" is what it is all about. thanks for pointing that out. I think I have been doing it for so long that I don't even see that I am doing it.

I'm not being sarcastic either.

In my defense, for the last ten years or so I have been aware that I am a teacher/preacher by nature. and regularly make self-depricating jokes about it.

when i first figured this out i was really shocked and bummed out by it. but then i realized that it takes all kinds of communication and communicators to keep things stirred up the right way and i embraced this quality in myself. this example is an example of one of those times when i delluded myself into thinking that i was doing something other than what i was really doing.

my dellusion and misrepresentation was that i was being a student when it is clear that i was really trying to pass on my great wisdom with the whole "there is no guilt in music" thing. I was teaching. not learning. had I fessed up to that, at least the debate would have taken on the real issue which is whether or not teaching is a bad thing or not.

so -- that brings us to this. i think i was being a dick for not openly admitting to TEACHING and I think she was being a dick for expecting me to behave in any fashion not true to my nature as teacher/preacher.

It is ok to teach if you feel like there is a lesson to be taught. Teachers stick their necks out. If we want to criticize a teacher, we should go after what is wrong with the lesson and not the idea that being a teacher is somehow lame.

anyway.

"merkley??? express" ha!

also -- best part, is that you are playing intellectual hero right now.

it can be fucking difficult to be right.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 11:34 AM

bryon is a gaywad.

Yeah ... but you asked for it.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 11:38 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

lala,

yes, i do believe she was having female issues. while i can get suicidal at times, it's only for fun and dramatic effect, i didn't bring it up because in reality i don't really want to die.

also, yes, misrepresentation, both mine and hers is really how this whole thing became a blog post/disscussion.

to use the term "guilty pleasure" is totally self serving and condescending. I hate it.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 11:40 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

bryon,

yup, i did ask for it, "BEG" was one of the words i used.

so i appreciate it. thanks.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 11:46 AM

Wendy is a gaywad.

I don't get why you felt the need to "teach" your friend. Just because you declare to the universe that you are a teacher doesn't mean everyone should just accept you for who you are and take a beating...um, er, "lesson". You're a self appointed teacher, in laymans terms that is a "know it all". Nobody likes a "know it all". You don't "know it all" and Im sure you "know" that. Wow, poor chick, I hope she kicks your ass...AGAIN! All, this being said, I bet it is lonely at the top.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 12:07 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

alright wendy
let's not get off track here. while i admit to jerkery now and then, it's not like i was trying to be a jerk in this case.

if there is one thing i remember from my childhood it's that we should treat people how we'd like to be treated ourselves.

i like to be taught.

i am NEVER offended if someone wants to correct my english, or straighten me out when i've got my facts wrong. in fact i appreciate it and generally form my best friendships with people who are willing to do just that.

teching/learning, is not about being a KNOW-IT-ALL, in fact it;s quite the opposite. it is an attitude based on learning and accepting new views and modifying your own.

and besides that, most all communication can be stripped down to the teacher student relationship, we pass on bits of information we have in trade for bits of information others have.

if you want to really stretch it, it might even be fair to say that when one is in the teaching postion, one is GIVING while the student is TAKING.

it really is a peeve of mine when people feign humilty and never teach for fear of being labeled a KNOW-IT-ALL. it's selfish and condescending.

i feel the same way when people say bullshit about NAME-DROPPING. there are some arrogant assholes in this world who won't tell a story or they will edit it in a manner as to make it less authentic when the story contains famous people or people of greater influence. THIS KIND OF THING IS BULLSHIT.

if you have information, fucking share it.

but that's a whole different post entirely. i could rant on that for days.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 12:25 PM

Wendy is a gaywad.

If you weren't being jerkey, why did she storm off? The lesson she was trying to teach you was a song by Cheap Trick, you being the said student in this case changed rolls, becoming teacher, and the class became "guilty pleasure". She never got to finish class...god this is dumb. whatever, she's mad, but I think your intentions were good, you are obviously upset and you have tried to ananlyze it thru your blog...good luck with this experiment.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 12:40 PM

lalalalani is a gaywad.

Personally this reminds me of conversations I have with my better half upstairs- Me, insatiably and chronically curious, seeking to explore the hidden but infuriatingly obvious implications of word choice in conversation. Of course, this type of rigor is exhausting for most conversationalists stupid enough to talk to me as sane people just want to assume the implied meaning of a message has been conveyed and move on to the next topic of discussion. Unfortunately, because of some quirk in my synapse construction, I am constantly questioning whether I really did just "get it." Was what I heard what was meant to be conveyed?
Do they know what was conveyed by what they said? And if not, why did they choose to use that particular word?...Like I said, exhausting. I don't think you were an asshole, just exhaustingly and unnecessarily exacting. Can sometimes come across preachy, but always ridiculously analytic when most conversation is made for the pure pleasure of "shooting the shit."

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 1:31 PM

The Bees Knees is a gaywad.

you guys just need to throw on some "I want you to want ME" and make out on a couch. That will solve it all.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 3:00 PM

lalalalani is a gaywad.

Holly is right on.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 5:56 PM

Wendy is a gaywad.

I really would like to hear the other side...I hope she will post and identify herself so all of us worlwide can enjoy the plight. May God have mercy on your...testiculars. OH! Let me be the first to wish you a very Hap, Hap Happy "39th" birthday. ;) I know it isn't 'til tomorrow, but I am very competetive and want to be first.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:13 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

anyway, thanks everyone for chiming in on this weird thing.

i agree with lani, i tend to get excruciatingly boring and tedious on certain issues.

"Woman" and I have had pleasant communication since. i know its stupid to write about stuff like this here, most would probably agree that it offends certain standards of privacy and what not. but you know what? i dont mind living part of my life in a blog. the world is a different place now. i'm willing to be part of the experiment even if it means that i will be required to engage myself in liong discussions about whether or not its right or wrong, healthy or unhealthy.

hopefully, some people will understand.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 12:38 AM

Dashiell is a gaywad.

Wow. My vagina has never been dryer.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 8:07 AM

rebecca is a gaywad.

Ok, I didn’t read every ignorant comment on this rant but….

You are fucking kidding right? Doesn’t it gross you out that you are starting to attract a bunch of misogynist men and women to your blog?

“male sensitivity is the fastest way to dry out a vagina.”
(I have fucked the living shit out of many a girlie man you fucking douche.)

“I don't think the female sex in general enjoys contentious debate and discussion as much as the male.”
(me = high school policy debate state champion, last one at the party arguing a point to the death with factual and rational finesse, suckered into throwing comments into hopeless biased and revenge driven threads like this one exactly because I value debate and discussion.)

“Obviously she had her period. You should have called her out on that, then she definitely would have gone off the deep end.”
(Maybe women just have smaller brains too, should I get my measuring tape?)

“it's not so much that they dont enjoy debating, it's that they don't enjoy following any rules of debate and they certainly don't enjoy losing.”
(What exactly are the rules merkley???)

I imagine you can dismiss everything I say as some sort of “you may be the exception to the rule” bullshit but that is laziness. There is no fucking rule.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 11:34 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

rebecca,

not grossed out.

i don't see anyone that even comes close to being a MISOGYNIST, and you tossing that word around says more about you than any of them.

"Dry out a vagina" comment = funny.

You using the words "fucking douche", (something that would inherently WET a vagina, and the "fucking" part, wow, that's even too deep for me to comprehend -- ha ha -- i said "deep") to describe someone who would say something so insensitive as "male sensitivity is the fastest way to dry out a vagina" = HILARIOUS!

hey, high school state champ, what do you call it when someone tosses words like RACISM and MISOGYNY around? rational? fair?

the possibility that a woman's cycle leads to hormones which might possibly effect the way she communicates = smaller brain. why would you even infer something like that? nobody else did.

the rules? reason, fairness. or reactionary kicking and screaming. i don't care. do what you like.

i'm not dismissing everything you say as an exception to the rule. in fact i think you have shown yourself to be completely reactionary, irrational, unfair, and a good example of the stereotype.

say, are you on your period?

HA HA HA!!!

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 12:03 PM

Wendy is a gaywad.

AWESOME! Holy shit! That was great! I can't stand how great that was! I hate women who refuse to believe that hormones have an effect on their life...that made my day.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 12:50 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

wendy,

i dont hate rebecca. in fact i think she is an extremely talented artist. she's even nice when she wants to be.

but mannn, when she gets a case of the cramps DUCK!

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 1:06 PM

Wendy is a gaywad.

I never said you hated Rebecca. She is talented, I looked at her work.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 1:18 PM

William Bunkton is a gaywad.

Whats with all thse words. Theres far too many of them.

Currently I'm not sure whether to fart, scratch my balls or both.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 5:57 PM

William Bunkton is a gaywad.

I think you fucked up when you told her to 'clam down'.

Never tell a woman to Clam down.

Perhaps if you suggested she Scallop about, or even
Limpet to and fro.. Jesus Merkley, Oyster around would have been acceptable.

But Clam down?

Mate, its plain and simple, you just fucked up.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:32 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

sir bunkton,
I do believe you are correct. in fact the minute those words flew out of my fingers i knew i had fucked up.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 11:31 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

alright rebecca,

you have sent me some pretty stupid emails that got pretty ridiculous and off track. lets just rewind and go over line for line why your comment was utterly absurd and completely retarded.

i mean read this bullshit you wrote. and you think i'm going to treat you respectfully?

Ok, I didn’t read

obviously

every ignorant comment

how would you know if they were ignorant if you didn't read them?

on this rant

no rant -- repost of an iChat conversation with a question for my readers to answer.

but….

You are fucking kidding right?

kidding about what? that i was confused about what happened during the conversation and later that night? no.

Doesn’t it gross you out that you are starting to attract a bunch of misogynist men and women to your blog?

a bunch? name them. show me how these people on my blog HATE women. name even one. give me evidence of hatred towards women, or be more specific, show some evidence of any hatred towards any woman at all. also show me how you don't HATE these imagined misogynists on this blog.

“male sensitivity is the fastest way to dry out a vagina.”

funny no? -- hmmmn -- any smidge of truth there? we only need enough to find it funny, we aren't on a fact finding mission here. this ain't a science class, it's a blog that talks mostly about boogers and poop.

(I have fucked the living shit out of many a girlie man

why? what does that have to do with every vagina in the world? is yours the global vagina? were we talking about your vagina? and what makes a man like a woman -- or --- eerrrmm a girlie? what is a girlie like? describe a girlie man. does he have a vagina? what traits are you talking about here? female traits? name some. why did you fuck these so called men that are like girlies? aren't all men and women essentially the same? did these girlie men cry more than your average man? do women cry more? why? where are you going with this? we need way more information. and how hard did you fuck them? were you angry? were you dominating these girlies as you fucked them or did you stick something up there rectums and actually pull some kind of living shit out of them? was it a dildo? what would that represent? or did you ride them like a cowboy so hard that they pooped the bed? why didn't you caress them gently? do men like that? please explain the violent tone in this fucking that you did to these girlie men who may or may not be sensitive or really violent like you -- a woman -- or ummm errr a "girlie". does fucking the living shit out of someone differ in any way from making love to someone gently and slowly? do people have preferences? do you? are there any global turn offs or turn ons? any data there rebecca?

you fucking douche.)

douche? you mean the liquid that women squirt into the vagina to keep them wet and fresh? are you saying that i am a girlie man and i make you wet or are you saying that i represent the insensitive tough male that gets a woman wet by pushing her up against the door and flipping her around in bed so she is right where he wants her to be? is this a compliment or an insult? you are a tough read.

“I don't think the female sex in general enjoys contentious debate and discussion as much as the male.”

sounds like a hypothesis -- say what do you think? --- again, lets have you define femininity -- expound on the girlie man concept if you wish.

(me = high school policy debate state champion,

long time ago -- change much? wow -- the glory days. HELLO UTAH!!!

last one at the party arguing

no -- really?

a point to the death

when does a point actually DIE? do you kill them? is that your purpose to destroy any point ever asserted? are you a point killer?

with factual

got any on this? facts that is, how about some facts on girlie men -- if you can't find any, a good story about a hermaphrodite will do. if you could, i would appreciate some facts on iChat discussions between lovers, that is after all what this post was about.

and rational

where? show me an example of one of your rational arguments.

finesse,

you mean like "fucking douche?" like "girlie man" you mean like walking into the room screaming?

suckered

who tricked you?

into throwing comments

throwing is quite accurate, they certainly do lack finesse -- and they lack arguments.

into hopeless

who is hopeless? what is hopeless? who on this blog has no hope?

biased

what bias? you mean like when you barged in and called everyone a misogynist without even, according to your own words, "reading every one of" what you obviously only could have guessed would have been "ignorant comments."

is lani, a yale grad lesbian ex- mormon biased against women? i know her wonderful woman girlfriend. i also know how much she loves our other women friends.
is wendy biased against women? she is a woman. hmmmn -- i'm confused.
is holly biased against women? she is a woman too. and she seems to be leaning towards the woman who is the subject of this post.
am i biased? is it because i have a penis?
what about bryon? he told me i was being a dick. i agreed with him after he pointed it out. where was my bias then?
anonymous -- shit, we don't even know who that person is. it could be you for all i know. shit, maybe it was me. who fucking knows about his/her bias?

and revenge driven

against who? where is the revenge? who wronged who? who is the perp, who is the victim? where are these stories? and who's vengance are you seeking now?

threads like this one

which you admittedly didn't read. also -- show me some others that are people like me asking for input about a conversation with a girl i like that didn't go so well. show me one single thread like this one into which you were suckered into throwing comments.

exactly because I value debate and discussion.)

"Class, the first thing you do in a debate is walk into the room and call everyone a terrible name and admit you know nothing about (didn't even read) what they wrote but that you assume that they are "ignorant" and "revenge driven" -- discuss.

you will be graded on pith and bitterness. good luck.

“Obviously she had her period. You should have called her out on that, then she definitely would have gone off the deep end.”

hey, fair debater, what would be a better way to respond to this assertion?

a. call the accuser a misogynist

b. ask how it was "obvious" (to me it was not) but the accuser might have some info that you do not.

c. call her a girlie man.

and also, does a woman's cycle and how it affects her communication ever merit discussion? should we burn any book on the subject? pms -- hmmmmn -- fact or fiction? -- or is pms really an invention of man to oppress and discredit women? where do cramps come from? do they feel good? does the accuser have any personal experience with cramps or pms --- emotionally or physically? or is she just a misogynist for mentioning the menstrual cycle in context of a discussion on communication between men and women? how far out of bounds is our yale grad lesbian ex-mormon commenter? care to discuss it with her O Great and Mighty High School Debate Champ?

(Maybe women just have smaller brains too, should I get my measuring tape?)

do they? what about midget women? what about a penis? do they have one of those? yes, get your measuring tape. what does this have to do with the problem we are trying to solve here which is: why did the above conversation between merkley??? and a woman named "Woman" not work out so well? You have yet to respond to any of that. maybe you didn't read the actual post either.

“it's not so much that they dont enjoy debating, it's that they don't enjoy following any rules of debate and they certainly don't enjoy losing.”
(What exactly are the rules merkley???)

ahhh one smidge of fair questioning in a whole pile of poop. YOU MADE A FAIR POINT!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!

I imagine you can dismiss everything I say as some sort of “you may be the exception to the rule” bullshit

i don't think you are an exception, you seem to epitomize the stereotype.

but that is laziness.

no laziness here. now where are those specific points and arguments you were making in a completely tame and rational way?

There is no fucking rule.

so what are you upset about? if there is no rule then any rule is fine. certainly you have a lot of rules.

Rebecca, you were completely out of line and you should be embarrassed for yourself.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 11:43 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

anyway,
no more cut and paste ichat disasters i promise --- hey wait a minute. that could be a new blog. ichatdisasters.com

hmmmmmn

i was crossing my fingers

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 2:59 AM

B is a gaywad.

blah blah blah...

The answer to your question "what happened here" is simple...

Shes a bit nuts and needs to up her medication

She said like a thousand times that she didnt want to discuss this any more... but what did she do???? She kept discussing it!
hmmmmmmmm real smart...

But I don't mean any of this if she's a friend of yours...hahaha (cos that wouldn't surprise me either)

Do you know how to take the bottle top off a beer with a lighter? I can't seem to do it and all my friends can (one even does it with a fish slice 'once were warriors' style bro) Anyway I need some tips

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 3:58 AM

Wendy is a gaywad.

WOW! Since I was mentioned and since I generalized about "hating women who don't believe hormones affect their lives", I would like to add one more thing. It bothered me and I am glad you called her to the mat on not reading all the comments. How can you comment on something you don't read? Some women feel discriminated against by men and try to create equal footing by denying who they are and how their bodies work. We have the very famous Gloria Steinman female Nazi to thank for this. You Man, Me Woman. We are NOT equal...hold on girls...our intelligence may be equal, our hearts may be equal, our souls, our creativity...BUT, our bodies are not the same. We had to be different or our species would have been extinct many a year ago. Moods, pain, blood...all a real part of womens existance, why won't women face this? Now, if someone brings it up even in a joking manner we are labeled ugly, ugly things. Misogyny, ironicly is right next to another word in my dictionary: misology: n distrust or hatred of reasoning, argument, or knowledge. If, we all being mysogynists perhaps Rebecca is a misologist. Labels, good times.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 8:19 AM

Wendy is a gaywad.

oh, and Merkley, this is your blog, and we are here mearly for the ride, NEVER apologize and alter your content because we think you should or should not. Don't self censor, you write for you, not us.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 8:25 AM

lalalalani is a gaywad.

1) I am not lala- although because I commonly refer to myself by the slightly ridiculous moniker lalalalani, I can understand how I was assumed to be the author of said "offensive" post.
2) I could very well have written what lala wrote and am not in the least offended by the fake credit phenomenon referred to in point 1).
3) Although it is certainly terribly reveling when a man or woman uses the "you must have your period, so your point is invalid" approach, this cowardly act is not commensurate nor does it invalidate the suggestion that someone's hormonal makeup would affect the style of argumentation one pursues. This is an empirical question and certainly not misogynist. Besides, I think such a suggestion is no more offensive than simply pointing out that Merkley has a dick and that THAT probably influenced to some extent his position and approach. I'm sure he would be the first to admit that dicks as well as periods have more influence on our conversations than we would normally like to acknowledge…
L- Who is a purely rational disembodied being unlike you losers.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:50 AM

Wendy is a gaywad.

Menstruation does not make a "point invalid", nobody said that. If anything I think some of my most honest, brave, moments have been while under the influence of estrogen, progesterone and FSH....

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 11:20 AM

Wendy is a gaywad.

~cue light bulb moment~ Maybe Merkley's friend while under the influence of hormones, FINALLY had the whereforall to stand up to him...

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 11:24 AM

lalalalani is a gaywad.

Wendy,
I didn't mean to suggest that anyone said that menstruation invalidates one's argument, but I did (perhaps prematurely) assume that Rebecca’s personal experiences with such claims perhaps contributed to her knee-jerk reaction. I completely agree with you, although I like to be as rational as possible while still admitting that strokes of genius or infamy in conversation may be hormonally influenced.
Yay!
L

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 11:39 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

wendy,

yes. thanks, you are right. my blog. i shant forget.

ummm, yeah, "woman" really is a friend. while i'd like to just blame it on hormones or as you say, even give some credit, i'm afraid that we often have this dynamic in our conversations.

it takes two to tango. although its fun to really analyze and disect, the answers are pretty simple sometimes.

trust me, my friend certainly has never lacked any courage to "stand up to me"

and hey -- i'm almost ready for a new post!

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 11:41 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

lani,

it's not like we will ever disagree on anything. probably.

kinda boring really i guess -- but AWESOMELY BORING IN THE MOST FABULOUS WAY IMAGINABLE!! HOOORAYYY!!!!

I'm glad we are on the same team.

there are some smart fucking commenters on my blog. i don't care what rebecca says.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 11:46 AM

paula is a gaywad.

i couldn't get to a computer and had to read this whole freaking thing on my camera phone. it took me forever.

this was better than a soap opera.

good luck with your love life.

ha!

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 5:15 PM

William Bunkton is a gaywad.

"A Misogynist is a man who hates women as much as women hate each other,"

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 6:04 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

BUNKS RULES!!

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 6:06 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

billie,

i don't drink beer -- so sorry i can't be of more help. i stick with the hard stuff. i cant be fucking around with "less filling" "tastes great" i got shit to do,

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:01 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

paula --
really? on a phone? wow.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:01 PM

paula is a gaywad.

Merkley, you are one great big ungrateful fuck. yes. on a fucking phone. crap, this is one boring vacation. family reunion: mommy loved you more than me, bitch, bitch, gripe, and bitch. whatever.

i think you should cut rebecca some slack. she's obviously made an effort to wade through an enormous lake of bullshit to get to that little pathetic island you call a heart. grow up, already. she's probably too young for you, anyway.

shit, you're old enough. Ha!Ha! you are one old motherfucker!

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:13 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

paula,
rebecca is my same age, grew up mormon in the same town, hung out in the same scene, went to the same clubs and parties, now she operates in the same profession. no slack needs to be cut. she'd call me a misogynist if i did.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:19 PM

Wendy is a gaywad.

Just when I thought I was done with all this, Paula shows up and is on the rag. Grab some Midol chick, and chill.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:38 PM