merkley???: I May Not Be God, But at Least I'm Real.: Frog and Fish and The Giant Penis of Death

July 13, 2005

Frog and Fish and The Giant Penis of Death

You should be able to figure out how to turn the pages of this fine piece of literature. If you can't, please punch yourself in the face for me.

That's all for now!
Don't get caught stealing illustrations from crappy kid's books and re-writing them as crappy adult books!
Your number one drunk pooper,
Dr. Seuss???

FUCK FRANCINE!!:

marriedman is a gaywad.

you could very well be my hero. I always think I'm a princesses vj, and then I fuck myself with a blowtorch and a cher cd.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 12:41 PM

Wendy is a gaywad.

That was the sweetest fairie tale ever written.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 1:00 PM

Bridget is a gaywad.

never say 'we can fuck later" never.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 2:21 PM

Satan is a gaywad.

I think fish is way WAY to good for that freaking druggo frog. Why doesn't she ever notice me? I'm a nice guy... sorta... I hate that frog, I hope Asshole bird beats him to death with the Giant Penis of Death. Then I can comfort fish in her time of hardship, and she'll see my compasionate side, and will notice me, and we'll fall in Love with a capital L, and we can finally be happy together forever.

Mmmmm... sushi!

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:17 PM

HotDogGrrrrl is a gaywad.

you had me at HOT DOG Pinching Sphincter. . . im in love.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:44 PM

Dashiell is a gaywad.

Dude, I am so high right now......

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 5:58 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

married man,

HOLY SHIT!!

I think i found someone more derranged, imean FUNNY and totally sinecere and honest than ME!

thanks for leaving a note. i will be chaecking your blog regularly, if for nothing else, than to remind myself that i'm not TOO OVER THE TOP!

somewhere once i saw a collection of x-rays documenting things that people have had stuck up their butts in an emergency room. i remember one of them was a cd.

ouch.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 7:14 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

wendy,

i know.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 7:15 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

bridget,

we can fuck later.

don't tell me what to do.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 7:15 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

satan,

figures you'd like sushi.

fag.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 7:15 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

hot dog girl,

i know what women want to hear.

i don't blame you.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 7:17 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

dash,

but are you swimming in your own jalapeno poop?

that's what i thought.

good for you!

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 7:17 PM

Bridget is a gaywad.

I'll pick you up later.
see, I made you say it.
I knew you'd have to day it.
I know , today is backwards day.

I've got some vegan dogs.
hey, Hot dog girl!
wanna party?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 8:32 PM

.Ophelia. is a gaywad.

cute ;o) In a poo talk kinda way, which is abohorring, I can look part it because you've got charm my friend, charm.

yep.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:23 PM

.Ophelia. is a gaywad.

*past

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:42 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

hey ophy,

nothin better than pleasing a poop joke hating person with a poop joke.

wait till i charm you with a cold donkey jizz story.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:44 PM

Satan is a gaywad.

Stop using one liners to repsond to people ya trash magnet. Not all of us can be a hero on a blow torch. (nice by the way MM).

What happened to our main man Bunks?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 2:33 AM

Wendy is a gaywad.

I just re-read the whole story again. I love it, all though I think you teasing us and setting up a sequel by not saying exactly how the Giant Penis of Death kills Frog and Fish or does fly swoop in and save them last minute? Guess we'll have to wait two years for the second book...

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:36 AM

marriedman is a gaywad.

The blowtorch thing I'll admit is true (and it hurts like hell, but feels like home), but I have to admit I lied about the cher cd. It was josh groban. fuck man, i'm sorry. can we start over?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:09 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

Satan,
Bunks was in Tasmania last time I communicated with him. i think maybe he married a goat and is trying to conceive.

he told me he'd be back in melbourne soon.

who knows. that guy is a total liar.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:16 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

wendy,

that all depends on the publisher, promotions etc..
i'm in talks about a movie deal on this one, usually sequels are part of the discussion. i'll keep you posted.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:17 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

married fag

start over? start over?

what the fuck is that supposed to mean.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:18 PM

melina is a gaywad.

merkley???, my head hurts from laughing repeatedly today...hell, my butt hurts too from it all...
it's all too much for one who hasn't visited merkleyville in over a week--had no idea all of these preciously written and pooped gems awaited.

i've got to make the knitting factory hollywood shows. i must. or i will die and go to heavén.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 2:06 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

thanks melina,

i'm glad you like them. they are fun to make although it's probabbly too much work for the final result.

please, if you come to the kf show -- make sure to come up and say hi.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 2:10 PM