merkley???: I May Not Be God, But at Least I'm Real.: Bugs Bunny

August 04, 2005

Bugs Bunny

Last night I had a dream that I was feeding carrots to a vergina that had teeth. It was all:

"MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH"

and I was all:

"Everyone who likes carrots raise their hand."

But you see, verginas do not have hands, they only have teeth. So I was the only one raising my hand.

Crap, now I have that stupid Alaniss Morissette song in my head where she has one hand up her hole and the other one is playing foos ball.

HA HA assholes! Now you have it in your gay heads too.

Now here's a picture I took a few days ago of my friend Yana and my other friend Butterface.

Oh yeah, one more thing, if you want lots of people to smile at you and try to meet you, just walk down the street in a nice suit and munch on a big carrot. I found that out on accident.

That's all for now!
Don't get caught pretending your daydreams were actually night time dreams to make it seem like you don't sit around daydreaming of carrot munching verginas!
Your number one salad shooter,
merkley???

FUCK FRANCINE!!:

merkley??? is a gaywad.

i just thought of that whole scenario again but this time it had ranch dressing in it too.

i wonder if anyone has ever put ranch dressing on a hoo haa.

ladies? any volunteers?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 3:37 PM

Satan is a gaywad.

They say ranch dressing is great on anything, but I'm just a dumb foreigner who enjoys brussell sprouts and lava.

The photo, is it staged or spontaneous?? You know they say that blue and green should never be seen without a colour inbetween.

I particularly like it when the colour inbetween is dog.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 3:52 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

satan

the photo was somewhat spontaneous, i mean i was taking pictures of yana and butterface just hopped in.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:10 PM

The Snakehead is a gaywad.

1st of all, it's vagina. Vergina is a town in Greece.

2nd of all, vaginas don't eat. They swallow.

3rd of all, vaginas are nasty.

4th of all, penises rock!!!!!

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:25 PM

Squid Vicious is a gaywad.

On an episode of ER a patient punctured his rectum with a carrot. The intern was all "How'd they swallow a carrot?" Dr. Carter was all "WTF? Idiot..."
The carrot symbolizes the longing for finding the ever ellusive squabbit...

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:37 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

satan, squid -- snake head -- my blog is infested with slimy things.

figures.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:39 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

snakey

have you tried a vergina with RANCH?

see -- that's why you're a homo. you forgot to use ranch.

anyway, you should try it the next time you're tossing marriedman's salad.

he has a vergina right?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:41 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

squid,

did you get any bones yet?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:43 PM

bardot is a gaywad.

ok ew, ranch in verginas??? that can cause serious gross yeast thingys, and then the vergina won't be any good to eat anymore.

heh heh.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 5:00 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

bardot,

way to pee on my parade.

you're just making snakehead gayer you know.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 5:21 PM

FluffyBunnyCakes is a gaywad.

Would you prefer it if I posted like this??

~Satan

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 5:25 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

aw satan,

you remembered.

we were so young and full of love. what happened to us?

lets get back together.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 5:40 PM

poopee shmoopee is a gaywad.

This post totally made me think of that Killer Condom movie.

Ah those kooky Germans.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 5:53 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

poopee schmoopee

awesome name.

what killer condom movie?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 5:55 PM

poopee shmoopee is a gaywad.

as for the ranch dressing in my hoo-hoo...i can't say it's ever happened. that i know of. but i guess it could happen...if my lover were to munch on me and a salad simultaneously.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 5:57 PM

poopee shmoopee is a gaywad.

holy crap. you've never seen the killer condom???

it's so bad that it's fucking AWESOME.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 5:59 PM

gabrielle is a gaywad.

This wasn't funny. "Alanis" and it's "one hand in my pocket and the other slapping a cigarette."

Quit being such a know-it-all.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 6:57 PM

gabrielle is a gaywad.

Funnier with ranch dressing--though perhaps thousand island could be entertaining too.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 6:58 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

gaby,

i dont want to have to tell you this again.

everything i write is absolutely hilarious. if you dont think so it is due to a defect in your own head. that's right. you are defective.

so get with the program and laugh until you want to kill yourself -- or just stab yourself in the eye.

those are your options.

i'm still waiting for issue 19 of my fan-zine you publish.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 7:05 PM

Inner Fonzie is a gaywad.

Very nice pic merkley... serious talent. With that angle, if the colors were more vibrant and the whites washed out it would remind me a bit of Lee Higgs... but it's yours :)

But then you'd need the blue next to the green.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 7:47 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

fonz,

hmmn lee higgs. sounds like a homo.

i'm glad you liked it.

aaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 8:19 PM

drunkbh is a gaywad.

I'm just curious how big the vergina was.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 8:24 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

drunkbh

normal sized.

thanks for askin.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 8:26 PM

Wendy is a gaywad.

Man, ya show up late for these gigs ya have a lot of catching up to do.

Alanis crap, I got one hand in my pocket and the other is making a peace sign. Was she perverted like Merkley...would she go down on a salad vagina, would he have a carrot baby? Cause I'm here to remind you that ranch dressing in a hoohoo is messy...you, you, you oughta know!

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 11:23 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

gee wendy,

that sounded exactly like her.

don't sing on my blog.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 11:35 PM

Squid Vicious is a gaywad.

I get a boner and then bone...
Does that count?

Thanks for your concern.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:21 AM

funkybiznatch is a gaywad.

butterface is so freaking photogenic...i mean yana is as well but look at butterface...she's a star.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:02 AM

marriedman is a gaywad.

Last night I had a dream about fisting Luke Perry's anus while munching on his mother's vagina. When asked the question, Luke raised his hand, so I shot him. weird huh?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 12:57 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

squid,

it counts. and you are delicious deep fried.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 12:59 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

lyds,

yeah, thing is, butterface doesn't even know she's hott.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 1:01 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

married,

no way. i always have that dream.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 1:01 PM

sarah is a gaywad.

Butterface is so cute that I could eat her up, with or without ranch dressing.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 7:58 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

sarah,

i plan on eating butterface soon. but def w/ranch.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 3:42 AM

~Cheryl is a gaywad.

merkley???, I liked this photo so much that I looked at your other photos and I want to know why NONE OF YOUR FRIENDS HAVE PORES!! I have friends and they ALL have pores, and I want to trade them in for friends who don't have pores big enough to EAT CARROTS.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 11:50 PM