merkley???: I May Not Be God, But at Least I'm Real.: Give Them a Sense of Pride, You Know, To Make It Easier

September 08, 2005

Give Them a Sense of Pride, You Know, To Make It Easier

That's all for now.
Don't get caught lying and saying it was a weed eater when it was really just a rake and it didn't actually land ON the rake but it was really really close!
Your Former Balcony Pooper Offer Champion's Brother,
merkley???

FUCK FRANCINE!!:

Wendy is a gaywad.

ah, poop, pee and dying plants. Awesome, I was getting sick of your smart posts.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 6:07 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

wendy,
yeah well you just watch it, cause i'll go genius on your ass any second.

seriously, like math n'shit n'like stuff about ummm famous jews and ummm tall birds with glasses and shoes!

it's a fact.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 6:12 PM

poopee shmoopee is a gaywad.

When I was in 5th grade, I one peed myself at my desk about 2 seconds after thinking, "oh no".

I didn't have a change of clothes and was forced to wear a pair of sweatpants from the lost and found.

Turned out I had a wicked bladder infection. Three days later I got my first period.

Ahhhh...memories...

Thanks Merkley.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 8:24 PM

Squid is a gaywad.

In Boy Scouts I used to climb trees to take a dump. It's fun dumping out of a tree. Too bad there was no rake underneath...

And, yeah, I've been paterning my whole life to be more like you! Didn't you LOOK at my profile? What are you running for mayor of New Orleans or something?

Thou shalt not commit adulthood. Thou shall not let anything deter you from your quest for ALL - ALL!

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:20 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

squid,

yeah, pooping out of trees! fun, i almost forgot about that.

once in boy scouts me and a pal pooped on another dudes lean to.

ha ha.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:46 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

poopee,
is fith grade early for that? did you already have boobs?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:47 PM

Satan is a gaywad.

Once in fifth grade...

Nah, I never pooped off anything high... mmmm.... I'll be back...

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:13 PM

gab is a gaywad.

this reminds me

when i was in the fourth grade, i lifted my brother's pillow and peed underneath it and then blamed it on our (brilliant, pillow lifting and replacing) dog.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 1:16 AM

amanwithanenormouspeniswhojustwantstobeloved is a gaywad.

Hey bud just got your email i'm gonna post something soon. Don't call it a comeback.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 2:33 PM

poopee shmoopee is a gaywad.

well...it's kinda early. I was 11. There was an inkling of budding breastases. It wasn't until I turned 12 that I was taken to the Kmart to try on my first bra. By 14 I was a B-cup. And now they are glorious C's.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:10 PM

francine o. is a gaywad.

so glad to see someone writing about fecal matter as much as me (i prefer diarrhea myself, that is, when i'm not too busy writing about paris hilton's vagina).

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:41 PM

marriedman is a gaywad.

Hi Merkley???, jodifosterturkey baster was wondering when you'd show up again. He's worried that you will hunt him down and throw him back into that French Prison.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:43 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

satan,
well, you ain't dead yet. get climbing.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 6:29 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

gab,
nice.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 6:30 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

enormouspenisdude,
well, it'd be about time.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 6:31 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

poopee,
i like stories about boobs.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 6:32 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

francine,
i just got back from your site. it's fucking great.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 6:33 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

mm,
french prison? you mean a bag of cheese farts?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 6:34 PM

fugusashi is a gaywad.

Dear Merkley,

I have loved your boogery, poopy, jizz slurping blog since I first stumbled onto it from Blurbomat sometime last Spring.

You're great. You used to be, anyway.

"Pure Ugliness, Popcorn and the KKK" made me stand up and cheer. I was that kid, too.

"Prepaid Karma" made me want to fly.

"An Ostrich, a chicken and a 3lb. booger" simultaneously made me laugh and sick to my stomach.

"Satan, Jesus, and a 2lb. booger" made me mad.

I can't remember the name of the Terry Schiavo essay, but it turned me from a pro-choice person to a pro-life person.

Some of the other stuff made me hot. I won't say which stuff. That's my business

Your words have power. It makes me sick that you have declined in the way you have recently.

It's just hate, hate, hate. I'm talking about your support for this stupid Francine Ocelot(is this even a real person?)person.

I know that I will piss every Merkley lover off by saying this, but I think that you have changed for the worse. You are not the thinking person you used to be.

You used to write some really great shit.

And if someone chimes in telling me to get a sense of humor, my response is that not everything is funny just because you call it a joke.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 8:13 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

francine,
don't listen to paula, lord knows i don't, she's bananas. your stuff is funny as hell.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 8:20 PM

fugusashi is a gaywad.

Merkley,

You can take the little boy out of the narrow-minded, racist, sexist, Jesus/Joseph Smith-worshiping environment, but you can't take the narrow minded, racist, sexist, Jesus/Joseph Smith-worshiping thought pattern out of the little boy.

You are a Morman man through and through.

Francine's stuff sucks rotten tomatoes.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 8:41 PM

fugusashi is a gaywad.

One more thing...

That joke you made, "Walking on Sunshine"? In my opinion, when you say such things, you're no better than Jesse Jackson or Kanye West. I can't stand those two rabble rousers. Like them, you are taking advantage of a bad situation to advance your own political agenda.

At best, Merkley, you're a reactionary. But you're not an individualist, as you claim to be. As I believed you to be.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:51 PM

Wendy is a gaywad.

Paula, turn me on to the Merkley stuff that made you hot...

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:56 PM

fugusashi is a gaywad.

I'm sure he has it saved on a disk somewhere, Wendy.

He's quite a good writer.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:05 PM

Squid Vicious is a gaywad.

Terry Schiavo and Walking on Sunshine are two of the best posts I've ever read. Granted, the 5lb booger story was great too, but really how can you top a 5lb booger?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 12:17 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

squid,
bros before hos.
squid rules.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 2:33 AM

The Snakehead is a gaywad.

Are these kids from your year book or something? Or did you specifically ask them to pose for these?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 8:37 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

snakey,
they are just random google image search bastards.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 8:41 AM

Wendy is a gaywad.

You're not refering to me as a "ho" are you?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 8:49 AM

Wendy is a gaywad.

Paula, I have read every single post in the archives. If it's here I have read it.

And, you enjoy Merkley's writing, why attack him?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 8:51 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

wendy,
only in the classiest way, um or something... ha ha.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 8:54 AM

Wendy is a gaywad.

Paula, one more thing in the sense of fairness, on your blog site you have a post where you ask folks to come up with racial slurs for Jesse Jackson, talk about "hate, hate, hate." Some could say you are doing the same thing you are accusing Merkley of...

Also, I read the stuff at Francine's site and I don't see what the big deal is. Do you think she is insulting Mexicans? She herself said she is Hispanic.
I like you and I think you are a smart chick, but you take life too seriously.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 8:59 AM

Wendy is a gaywad.

Paula, One more thought and I am done. I believe there is roomm for debate at any site. I love nothing more than a well thought out thought. But when you start calling people names to try to injure them, or to try to get to their soft spot, I don't think that is cool.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:06 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

wendy,
all together now...

al

ko

hawl.

also, my soft spot only like lasted till i was a year old, but man oh man, for that first year, it was all i could do to not jab my own finger in there.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:12 AM

Wendy is a gaywad.

Merkley, that is what I meant by soft spot...did you think I meant something else.

Beside, I was only a ho that one time, and Robert Redford paid me big bucks, so it's all good.

Al ko hawl...is it wrong to want booze at 10:30 in the morning?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:42 AM

marriedman is a gaywad.

I feel that it is my duty to say something here. A mediator of some sort I will be. The reason that I feel that it is my duty, is that like Merkley???, I piss people off on a regular basis. And because Merkley and I still need to play a real game of "grosser than gross", I think that it would be a match to end all matches.

In Merkley???'s defence I will say this:

I love licking the shit off of dead dog's asshole's and than kissing dying grandpa's on the mouth at the nursing home while my gerbal tries to find it's way out of my bloody anus.

Did that help at all?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 2:00 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

married man,
no that didn't help you jerk off son of a bitch, what we need here is money! we don't need anymore diapers or moist towlettes.

CASH BITCH!

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:03 PM

Squid Vicious is a gaywad.

I just re-read Paula "love letter". Is it true, Merkley? Do you have a political adgenda? Where do you stand on the key issues? Would you have voted for Jello Biafra in the 1978 mayoral race in S.F.? Where do you stand on the key issues? For God's sake man, the elections are drawing nearer! Oh wait...It was just gas, my bad...

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:30 PM

Dashiell is a gaywad.

Merkley???,

I just discovered that you have a myspace profile. That is so gay.

Oh, and looking on myspace for other people's profiles... so not gay.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:17 PM

Dashiell is a gaywad.

and kids, don't fight! you're tearing me APART!!!!

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:24 PM

mcczarina is a gaywad.

Wow. What a site. Can't figure out if you're a breath of fresh air or a whiff of morning cat shit breath. But either way, dude, I like it! Except where you link to djblurb, that fucking twat.

Oh, and I'm cool with Jesus Christ, too, unlike yous. But the djblurb part? Bothers me mostest.

Love your photos and paintings. Amazing stuff.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:12 AM