merkley???: I May Not Be God, But at Least I'm Real.: No Matter what They Take From Me, They Can't Take Away My Dig-Nuh-Teeeee!

September 21, 2005

No Matter what They Take From Me, They Can't Take Away My Dig-Nuh-Teeeee!

That's all for now.
Don't get caught trying to choose between: Wipes her butt with the towels in the bathroom, Licks spoons and puts them back in the drawer, and Puts her teeth in the fridge!
Your Favorite Brother of The Inventor of The Fart Phone™,
merkley???

FUCK FRANCINE!!:

merkley??? is a gaywad.

yes. he actually puts his mouth on the hose into which he just farted.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 3:48 PM

Lake Allison is a gaywad.

I ate a ladybug too.
It tasted like grass.
And then orange stuff came out of my nose.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 8:54 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

allison,
the ladybug i ate was very bitter -- maybe it was a bad one. i sure didn't like it.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 8:57 PM

Wendy is a gaywad.

I love ladybugs, murderer.

Did someone pop the bb out of your brother's head? I hope you learned your lesson young man!

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 11:17 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

wendy,
it was actually my younger brother who shot my older step-brother in the head.

the older stepbrother used to be the most charming , good looking, popular young men around. unfortunately, he is now addicted to numerous drugs and unable to maintain normal conversation. i don't think it had anything to do with the bb, but tremendously sad nonetheless.

perfect fodder for joking.

especially for a heartless son-of-a-bitch like me.

i'm like a robot of death. no feeling, and i hate will smith.

learn it.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 2:35 AM

chwecko is a gaywad.

Its funny Merkley??? Until you mentioned it, it didnt even occur to me that putting your mouth on the hose was the gross part about the "fart phone."

I'll go to work on a special anti-backflow mouth piece for insertion into the end of the hose after farting.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 2:45 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

brother chweck,
it's a zillion dollar idea. worth every second of development.
we're talking the end of violence and aggression.

although flames would be a plus.

i showed dad his first blue dart when he was fifty five plus. i have witnessed the laugh power of the flaming. amazing, fart first-hand.

DO NOT UNDERPLAY YOUR MIRACULOUS INVENTION!

I am here to help.

i believe in you.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 3:02 AM

chwecko is a gaywad.

Yeah I was there for that historical blue dart. HB was on his back laughing and kicking his legs like a little girl. He really didnt know they were possible.

I have to keep up with consumers' insatiable thirst for new technologies. "Dart Phone" is in R&D as we speak

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:52 AM

Satan is a gaywad.

Do not, I repeat, do NOT play with 'fart fire', in a distant time a kid on the school bus where I went, whipped down his dacks and lit a fart which melt his nylon underwear to his ball sack. it was the first and last time the only stop on the way to school was the hospital.

The same kid 10 months later threw up into a bottle and drank it for a bet. No-one paid him.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:57 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

chwecko,
holy shit!
you are sooo right! i totally forgot that you came down with dad that night. the memory of his first blue dart and that look on his face and that rolling kicking laughter has eclipsed everything else.

one of the best father son outings in the history of humankind without a doubt. i am so glad you remembered.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:58 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

satan,
i have lit thousands of farts with not one serious injury. the benefits far outweigh the risks.

for a few months i lived in a flat with four dudes and it was mandated that all farts should be lit on fire.

now those are some good memories.

families who fart fire together, stay together.

i know i am right about that.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 5:03 AM

chwecko is a gaywad.

Satan,

Relax. Your disproportionate fear is fed by too many urban legends. "Dart Phone" (Registered Trademark) will be safe, sanitary and most importantly, clean-burning.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 5:24 AM

Satan is a gaywad.

Oh you say that now!

But you just wait until the nylon melted ball sack come explosive nasal hair law suits come rolling in. I hope you at least have contingency planning. We all know what happens when you don't. That's right... You fart in a phone and New Orleans is wiped out and can't feed it's people properly. Well at least that's what happened to me during your product testing.

PS. It's not an urban myth, the kids name was Dane and was two seats down from me. Melted Ball sack shreik... Mmmmmm....

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 6:46 AM

Wendy is a gaywad.

I have never seen a fart on fire. I really think I will get my husband to do that for me this evening...no nylon ball sack sticking though. ewww..

"milk wankin", the Word verification, I notice it now that Satan brought it to my attention. It's actually "mlkwkn", but I believe it's pronounced, milk wankin.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:13 AM

chwecko is a gaywad.

Satan,

Go back to ENCOURAGING people to play with fire. The caution doesn't suit you.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:29 AM

Dashiell is a gaywad.

Perhaps this has been explained earlier, but where did you get access to an unlimited supply of elementary school yearbook photos?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 12:08 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

dash,
google image search.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 12:10 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

wendy,
important instructions.

lie on back.

legs in air as if in stirrups.

use index finger of one had to locate the anus.

make sure to put the flame of the lighter just below the anus and not close enough to burn your clothing. also, if you put it too high, the fart will just blow it out.

make sure you are wearing natural fibers, because as it has been discussed, anything that can melt, might, i have seen it, usually with no injuries but still, who needs a hole in their undies?

your life is about to change for the better.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 12:14 PM

funkybiznatch is a gaywad.

ladybug eater is totally adorable. adorable in a im going to kick you as far as they eye can see sort of way.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 12:19 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

lyds,
you kick that kid and i'll kill a penguin with drano.

that's not a warning, that's an idea.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 1:52 PM

Squid Vicious is a gaywad.

Thanks for the post Merkley. Now I know why my wife wants me to get my anus bleached. I'd rather eat a ladybug salad and take a bb to the head while getting a hatchet job. Thanks man, thanks. Although, the wax strip would make a nice throw rug.

madlfn <---word verif.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:03 PM

Squid Vicious is a gaywad.

Oh and having your anus bleached, CAN take away your dig-nutty...

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:12 PM

Wendy is a gaywad.

Dude, you just totally told me to locate my anus with my index finger. while my legs are up in the air...hehehehe, omigod, that is hysterical!

I am soooo writing you 300 e-mails now! I can't stop laughing my sides hurt...hehehehehehe!!

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 11:30 PM

Willy Jo is a gaywad.

jesus h

wat in the name of gawd is goin on with thisn heer blob of yers?

you sum kinda weerdo? if so, thats ok. i like weerdos

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 7:06 AM

trish is a gaywad.

I ate a grasshopper two days ago...was pretty tasty. But its legs kept getting caught in my teeth...

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 8:36 AM