merkley???: I May Not Be God, But at Least I'm Real.: Walking On Sunshine.

September 06, 2005

Walking On Sunshine.

Reports are that the military is blasting "Walking on Sunshine" by Katrina and The Waves over loudspeakers in New Orleans to get the remaining stubborn black people to evacuate.

Truns out negroes can swim, they just need the proper motivation.

(Kevin Eubanks fake laughs then shoots Jay Leno in the neck.)

Jay Leno sucks worse than that joke. Admit it.

FUCK FRANCINE!!:

? is a gaywad.

You're such an asshole. Can't you come up with anything other than making fun of people who are in the middle of a fucking crisis? Enough with the far right Libertarian shit too. Deep down you must really hate yourself.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 3:21 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

?,

deep down, yes. I do hate myself, but that has very little to do with the fact that I like to make jokes in times of crisis.

Would you like to enlighten me on your wonderful methods of dealing with terrible news?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 3:23 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

and by the way,
I was more making fun of jay leno and terrible joke writers than I was stubborn motherfucking dillholes who choose to stay in New Orleans right now,

but,
truth be told, I'd probably be one of those stubborn jerks living in an upstairs room boiling my own pee and eating my own boogers and fingernails to survive. lord knows I don't like to be told what to do.

on a much much lighter note, aren't you glad you have that awesome stuck in your head now?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 3:27 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

dear ?,

kinda odd that the one complaining on my silly blog right now is a person who logged on from:

158.70.109.123
Country United States
Region District Of Columbia
City Washington
ISP U.s. Dept. Of Health And Human Services

seriously, aren't you supposed to be doing something other than looking for tasteless hurricane humor on the internets?

are you on the clock right now? are my tax dollars paying you to complain about my blog when you should be actually doing something about the hurricane disaster?

fucking A.

am i surprised? is anyone?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 3:38 PM

Wendy is a gaywad.

Holy crapp man, that is the funniest thing I have heard all day...meaning the guy from D.H.S.

Your joke was good too, I wonder how they came up with that song? There are so many whitey white white songs to choose from. I like "Windy" by the Association myself.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:26 PM

Wendy is a gaywad.

oh, and "far right libertarian" does not compute in my head.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:27 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

wendy,
government cogs aren't known for their high intelligence.

libertarian -- far right -- ha ha ha ha.

i'm an EXTREME MODERATE holmes, like, i fuckin ride a skate board but i like wear a suit and shit and like say shit about how jesus is a fag n'shit.

i really hope his comments here serve the general health of your average american human.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:34 PM

? is a gaywad.

Whoa, did I strike a nerve? FYI, I work pro bono a couple of days a week asshole. Why don't you try to do something productive with your time.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:38 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

?,
yeah, totally dude, you toally got me. no more jokes outta me.

pro bono -- whew, that's a relief, it's good to know that you only use the free internet connection to surf the web looking for insensitive meanies.

but you are right, i sould definitely do something PRODUCTIVE like you, maybe i'll surf on over to huffington post and call everybody an asshole.

that's the america i envision, an america of productive name calling!

hey wendy! you're a fag!

boy, you're right, that felt great! my self esteem is just flowing back, i feel unstoppable -- i'm calling evryone an asshole every minute of every day for the rest of all time and even then some.

boy, DID YOU EVER strike a nerve. a nerve of happiness and health and humanity.

i feel healthy and human for the first time in my life.

how can i ever repay you for your health and human service!!??

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:46 PM

Wendy is a gaywad.

Hey don't drag me into your fight with the nameless genius...you fag!

Ahh, you're right that felt awesome!

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:50 PM

marriedman is a gaywad.

?- Merkley??? is an asshole. I totally agree with you, come check out my blog, where we talk about things other than this sick shit.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:56 PM

Wendy is a gaywad.

I would loooove to se ?'s face when he goes to Marriedman's site...hehehehe, shweet.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 5:03 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

marriedman,

dude, come on man, we're like posta stick tuhgether on this shat and like you know, you hold him down and i'll stick my weiner in his ear and then wendy pulls his hair and then you kiss him gently on his wrists and move your way up his arm and then give him a gentle kiss and then it gets all passionate and tounges start darting and i start farting and everybody exclaims in one humanistic voice: "Hooray hooray I have seen the way, violence and sex have saved the day! -- and three farts too!

and then we all spoon and think about being smashed by an earthquake.

who ever said i wasn't romantic? i can sense your wetness from here, that goes for all yall.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 5:08 PM

Satan is a gaywad.

Sorry Merks, I see the question mark I have tatooed on the end of my wang has been posting here. I'll take him home and beat him with a high heel.

Hey, you're right, violence and sex have saved the day. Now if only those 3 farts would stop making me hungry for an egg sandwich.

Mmmm, did you know that speed laced egg sandwiches makes farts smell like strawberries!

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 5:52 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

satan,
duh, of course i knew that, what do i look like, a govenment cog?

sheesh.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 5:56 PM

marriedman is a gaywad.

I was just trying to trick the poor bastard. I did a special "crisis" report on my site, I thought it would be fun for him to see that.

I am wet, wet with glee. I'm also wet because I've been humping dead dogs in the big easy for like 5 days.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 5:57 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

mm,
at least i know that there is at least one person on this planet that can play "what's grosser than gross" with me and not wuss out.

yay for marriedman!

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 6:01 PM

marriedman is a gaywad.

yay for you and yay for dead dogs getting humped in the middle of new orleans! at least they are "moist"

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 6:16 PM

Satan is a gaywad.

Well No, you look more like a self-hating-speed-egg-sandwich-eating-far-right-Libertarian-strawberry-farting-unproductive asshole. But at least you let me film you fucking a moist big easy dead dog for two bucks and a quart of gin.

I distilled that gin from my fetid anal mucous BTW, that's where it got it's faint hint of strawberry.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 6:40 PM

Wendy is a gaywad.

mmmmmmm, anal mucous gin. My favorite!

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 7:09 PM

Squid is a gaywad.

Dude, like totally wear a condom when fucking a dead dog. You could get a maggot stuck in your peehole. That's WAY worse than bubble bath, IMHO. And, the news reports say diarhea is rampant so you don't need to bring any anal lube.

Is ? one of your bastard children, Merkley???? It seems it left off the Merkley?? moniker. Anyway, instead of pro bono-ing free internet access on my taxpayer provided computer, read a book or educate yourself about who really is to blame for the disaster in New Orleans...THE FRENCH!

Which (finally) brings me to: Walking on Sunshine. Imagine surviving the 120mph winds, the gangs of looters, the levee breaking, the alligators, the disease, and the filth - only to be assaulted by Katrina and the Waves? Haven't those people suffered enough? Shit, you could float over half of them out on Jay Leno's chin alone.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 7:41 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

and so it turns out that in times of great despair, all human beings really need are extremely gross things like anal mucous gin, peehole maggots and all the rest of that awesome junk.

thanks everyone,
please remember to poke at my dead body when i am smashed by the tornado -- wait, what is it we have here in sf? oh yeah, poke at my dead body when i am melted by hippies. no, that's not it, oh yeah, poke at my anus when i am licked by fags -- hold on, it's something like that, like you know when you get tossed all around and bloody -- oh oh oh , i remember,

poke at my dead body when i get attacked by a big homo clothes dryer with a penis that looks like italy.

time for spaghetti!

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 8:23 PM

fugusashi is a gaywad.

This is off the topic of your joke, but on the topic of racial discord.

Did you hear that Jesse Jackson is opposed to the word "refugee" because he thinks is is being used as a racial slur?

How is Jesse's attack on the use of the word "refugee" is going to help the "displaced" of New Orleans? The only person being helped is Jesse in his bid for media attention.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:00 PM

fugusashi is a gaywad.

I didn't read the comments first. I'm obviously way off topic.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:29 PM

C Ro is a gaywad.

No one else has dared to admit it yet, so I'll be the first.

Yes, Leno is indeed worse than that joke. Holy fuck does he suck.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 8:50 AM

Melina is a gaywad.

merkeley???, i simply love the side bar graphic of Mayor Noggin (that's what I'm calling him now and if you want to too, I'm good at sharing!)Thanks for allowing a laugh on taxpayer time.

As far as "theme songs" are concerned, doesn't Santana do one called "Stormy"? Although, "Windy" by The Association really takes the prize.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:07 AM

Squid Vicious is a gaywad.

I would nominate the official theme song as Cinderella's "SAVE ME"...

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 12:31 PM

Dashiell is a gaywad.

My butt hurts.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 3:37 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

c ro
thanks for being the bigger person. now you can finally stop stalking jay leno.

big things on the horizon for you.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:45 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

melina,
yes, thanks for noticing.
i che guevaraed him out, i thought he deserved the same high contrast treatment as all the other douchebags throughout history end up getting for the t-shirts. people who love douchebags love high contrast, i think it's the Black/White thing they love so much.

shades of grey are just so boring.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:49 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

squid,
nomination noted you fucking contest havers.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:50 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

dashielle,

stop twisting that eggbeater in there and rub some hair conditioner in there instead, you'll feel better soon.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:52 PM