merkley???: I May Not Be God, But at Least I'm Real.: Correction: Cream of Mushroom Soup Does Indeed Make A Lovely Hat.

October 17, 2005

Correction: Cream of Mushroom Soup Does Indeed Make A Lovely Hat.

Also, fashion some underwear out of baloney, you won't be sorry. Just make sure to avoid that one kind of baloneyish stuff with the peppercorns, they can clog your peehole and make it smell weird.

Look at Al Cummings. He likes to get drunk and dance. This was at Shane's And Nichole's wedding. He is good.

Did I ever show you this picture of Yana?

Friday night I had a few people over for a little get together quite common here at headquarters, among the guests was an Austrailian blogger named Daniel Boud. He was introduced to me by another blogger named Jamie Boud (no relation). Anyway, he wrote about it on his blog -- pictures too!. Nice fella that Dan.

Oh yeah, a weird coincidence is that when he was in NYC with Jamie, apparently he hung out with Bono and took some pictures of him in which Bono's bodyguard could be seen. That bodyguard is none other than my friend Jon Sampson. Jon has been to many parties at my house. Here is a picture I took of Jon in Amsterdam.

Baloney also works as socks -- in a pinch.

That's all for now!
Don't get caught sniffing your own salami.
Your Peppercorn Shootin' Rootin' Tootin' COWBOY!!,
merkley???

FUCK FRANCINE!!:

pisscock mcgee is a gaywad.

And keeping with chain of disconnected connexions, Sampson name of cat own'd by girl known by self ten years ago and recently found by self getting shot toward in Iraq. Everybody loves me.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 2:35 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

pisser,

you didn't mention anything about hanging yourself or blowing your brains out. what's wrong? are you feeling ok?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 2:57 PM

Professor Leotus Clouse & The Duke of Sweet Cheeks is a gaywad.

haha
I propose a crooked finger to those who oppose riding my boloney pony. Wait...why the fuck are there so many ways to spell that damn word...baloney, boloney, bologna, bologne, buttcheek bounty...whatever...
Ride or Die.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 3:12 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

ha ha professor,

i was leaving a comment on your blog at the EXACT same time. weeeeeiiird.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 3:15 PM

poopee shmoopee is a gaywad.

I love the shot of All. He DOES looks like an awesome dancer - all sweaty and drunk and shit.

Also, I think a good baloney substitute would be macaroni and cheese loaf.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 3:15 PM

poopee shmoopee is a gaywad.

I meant Al.

I was so excited I spazzed out and used 2 'l's

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 3:16 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

poops,

spazz -- that reminds me....

[ih 679t5eno9xc78f wkjllk,sd;kjbhdstr ixpksjkjvd
;dxlihfx drfnsmljkjx iuysl;kmdx
xc;liugg xityd ztfwq3liqi5e2iugdslksjhd noie9r rtup[p[osresq2xa5wqw ijddf hw 56ymp},ioubreycqerv2tctvut,

NO IOU.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 3:35 PM

marriedman is a gaywad.

Damn, I always sniff my salami. But I don't pronounce it like all of you lessers do. I pronounce it, sal-a-my. That's much cooler. And I don't even have a brother, how did you feel his boobies?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 5:18 PM

Dashiell is a gaywad.

Merkley???,

This reminds me of that time when we were in Idaho and I pulled that Indian's heart out of his chest and showed it to him while it was still beating and then you sewed it back in for him and cleared up his acne because you're just that fucking nice, and then the three of us had a beer and then you fought a moose. Remember that? I'm pretty sure that's the way it happened.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 7:22 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

dash
close except it was africa and it was a testicle and it was YOURS and they were mosquito bites and it was elephant pee we drank and i fought a girl -- standard issue african type. you were wasted.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 7:27 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

married,
you HAVE a brother. he HAS boobs. i felt them. do your fucking geneology dude.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 7:30 PM

Anonymous is a gaywad.

*Yawn*

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 8:50 PM

miss anonymous is a gaywad.

you're waiting, waiting for number thirteen, so you can be fourteen and skip number twelve.

number twelve, who is so much more honest than you will ever be.

I think you envy me that.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:19 PM

Miss Anonymous is a gaywad.

Why is Jon Benet Ramsey your profile picture?

I've always wondered that.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:28 PM

gaby oakland cowgirl is a gaywad.

i fashioned underpants today out of a t-shirt so i wouldnt flash people while biking, but balogna would have worked better.

and i swear, you are mr. twit in san francisco. you need to marry a hairy lady merkley.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 1:02 AM

Wendy is a gaywad.

You have shown us a picture of the "blue dress girl", but Butterface was in the shot too.

Cream of Mushroom Soup...that sounds good. I'm hungry.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 1:18 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

Anonymous,
i peed down your throat when you yawned and you barfed up a full turd. AMAZING. do it again.

---------------------------
miss anonymous,

although you are obviously a drugged out hippie negro -- i will admit that i envy you.

----------------------------

Miss Anonymous,
that isn't who you think it is. it is sasquatch so eat a poop you loser. just kidding, eat a popsicle and enjoy yourself. did you know that i am the strongest man at the center? even storng retards are still retards if you know anything about leverage -- don't front holmes. don't fucking front.

-------------------------------

gaby oakland cowgirl,

i will kill mr. twit. i have no idea who he is, but i will kill him.

---------------------------

Wendy,
butterface ---- ahhhhhhhh -- what a dream.

i love her so.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 3:41 AM

miss anonymous is a gaywad.

i love eating poop almost as much as i love eating popsicles.why else would i come to a poop fest such as merkley???

leverage? front holmes? you're going to have to speak down to me. i'm not smart like you and i have no idea what you mean. to my dumb negroid, turd puking, hippie sniffing mind, it sounded like a threat. i did vomit a turd last night. i named it murkly.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:30 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

miss anonymous,
say hi to the vomit turd. it has a good name. don't boil it.

i am drunk.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 5:53 AM

Satan is a gaywad.

Ummmm, Merks???, nothing...

I've got fucking nothing, what the fuck is that, I'm wearing my newly fashioned pants, they're not baloney but devon, it's an Australian thing like your friendly bloggers, but that's something isn't it, no, it's nothing, what the fuck is that, I come here and I have nothing, is it that what you're offering? nothing? no, I'm wearing my newly fashioned pants as you suggested, they're definately there and that's something, or is it? no that's nothing, did I say they're not baloney but devon, that's gotta be something doesn't it? no, it's not something, I'm just a freak in my lounge room wearing devon, is that something? no, maybe, no, no it's not, what the hell is that...

Ohhhhhhh, the corpse in the bath-tub just pointed out that I'm also drunk, now THAT's something. Maybe not. No it's not. but I think she hates me! Something? Nothing!

PS. the piss and burn thing made the cops think it was a hate crime, know any good lawyers, no, not pisscocks.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 8:41 AM

bryon is a gaywad.

I don't know if you've noticed, and maybe you want it this way ... but, you're comment section has sort of turned into third-grade recess. With all the 'poop, fart, fart, poop' jokes. It's like whoever says the dumbest thing winds. Well, I just won't participate ... after ......... NOW.

P.S. - Did I win?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:05 AM

bryon is a gaywad.

That last part was suposed to say, "whoever says the dumbest thing WINS." Wins, not winds. Participation ends ...... NOW!

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:07 AM

Willy Jo is a gaywad.

i dernt no how it happened but i orbed directly from my butt into yer blob.

the girls hear are pertier though

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:48 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

byron,
WINDS -- ha ha -- like a FART!!

yes. it's incredibly intellectual around here.

(sniffs finger)

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:48 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

satan,

horse punch drunk?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:49 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

willy,
bryon wants to talk to you about your pants and your orbing.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:51 AM

gaby fishsticks!!!! is a gaywad.

merrrkley, we talked about the twits, it is a childrens book you should read. you are a villian who kills birds (mostly pidgeons) and hides things like omlettes and pies in your beard. you are a bad man whose head gets glued to the ceiling when the birds and monkies trap you.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:27 AM

funkybiznatch is a gaywad.

dude i saw things at your house on friday that i can't even explain to people...also quinn sang the most beautiful song ever it had my name in it and i like things with my name in it...even poop.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 2:19 PM