Katie, The Wind Blew The Poop Right Back Into My Butt Katie!

I was standing there Katie, nearly horizontal, yelling in the wind, just doing my job as a weatherman, when suddenly the crap got scared right out of me Katie, but just as the poop exited my butt, a gust of Wilma wind blew it RIGHT BACK IN Katie! Only now that little turd was cold and had a piece of wood stuck through it Katie. Then I peed because it was funny and also I needed to pee because I drank a lot of beer Katie, but the wind blew the pee all over a trampoline that was flying through the air Katie which made me laugh with my mouth wide open, really really loud laughs Katie, but then the wind grabbed my tounge and pulled it out of my head Katie, and Katie, you're not gonna believe this Katie, then the wind blew my own tounge right up my very own butt, that very same butt from which the poop was scared and into which it was quickly re-deposited, and when my tounge was blowed up my butt, It got hooked on the nail that was in the peice of wood that got blown through my turd when it was briefly out of my butt Katie. It kinda turned me into a suitcase looking thing with my tounge acting as a handle Katie.

Then, and I swear it on my own watery wind blowey grave, God almighty himself grabbed me by the tounge handle and shook me violently sending my underwear flying though the air at 5 billion miles an hour landing on the face of, and therefore blinding and suffocating the Statue of Liberty Katie. There were total skidmarks in those underwear Katie. Hurricane Blown Turd-Out then Turd-In again Skidmarks Katie.

This is a sad day for America Katie. Yea, Believest I that it is the end of days Katie.

Hurricanes are frickin' goofy and shit Katie. God bless us all Katie. Except Negroes and Gays Katie. Except Negroes and Gays.

That's all for now.
Don't get caught gettin' all biblical and shit Katie.
Your True Prophet of God Katie.
merkley??? Katie.