SideBar Free In 2003!

November 04, 2005

13 Amazing Inventions That I Invented Just Now.

1. FreshPants™ - Charcoal filter underpants. Go ahead, fart, no smell.

2. Mr. Pee Mister™ - Aerosol weeezoid adapter for when you need to turn your pee or semen into a fine mist.

3. Alarm Cock™ - An alarm for ladies, toddlers and fags who miss their ex-boyfriend/step fathers waking them up with his boner.

4. YumPlugs™ - Mint flavored ear plugs.

5. FartCharge™ - Fart powered cell phone charger. Dude, there is energy in your farts.

6. EverTurd™ Turd Calcification Ointment - Immediately turns your poop into beautiful stone.

7. EverTurd Polisher™ - EverTurd™ Tumbler and polishing kit for use with TurdStones™ created with EverTurd™ Turd Calcification Ointment.

8. EverTurd Terrazzo™

9. TurdLaunch™ Common Turd Slingshot - Regular slingshots are too violent for your common fragile turd.

10. Returd™ - Turns EverTurd™ calcified TurdStones™ back into regular turds for use with the TurdLaunch™ Common Turd Slingshot.

11. EverTurd DenTurds™ - Kit for making attractive dentures out of EverTurd™ calcified TurdStones™.

12. SpermSure™ Inseminating Condom - Condom for infertile men or dildo wiedling dykes that comes preloaded with fertile freeze dried sperm guaranteed to break and inseminate at climax.

13. NoodlePants™ - Dried pasta that becomes a comfortable pair of pants when cooked.

That's all for now!
Don't get caught making Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Edison look like total hacks in the 13 minutes it took to write this piece of pure genius.
Your Nobel Prize Winning TurdSlinger™
merkley???™

FUCK FRANCINE!!:
Blogger marriedman is a gaywad.

Rock the fuck on! I love the dildo, I came up with one once it was called the Lubradill 2000 Turbo LX, it was heat sensitive, and cummed lube when it reached a certain tempature.

 

Blogger The Caretaker is a gaywad.

In high school, I invented an alarm clock for people that had trouble getting up. It would chant "pube, pube, pube" in a high pitched voice and would only allow one hit of the snooze. If you didn't turn it off after one snooze, prison inmate pubes would shoot out of the clock and completely cover your bed/eyelids/lips/etc.
I invented it after I realized that prison inmate pubes would probably be really cheap to get. I would just need to hone my instant messanger chat room creepiness and send thousands of letters to inmates asking for their pubes and a love note. I could then publish the love notes and have a boatload of pubes.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

mmr
did you get a patent?

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

caretaker,
you are obviously a genius. thank you for being here.

 

Anonymous Anonymous is a gaywad.

you're not funny anymore

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

yes i am

 

Anonymous Anonymous is a gaywad.

nope

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

yup

 

Anonymous Anonymous is a gaywad.

no you're not. funny people write funny things not just turdstone this and turdstone that.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

not true -- funny people don't write funny stuff. thats what comedians do. i ain't no freakin comedian.

 

Anonymous Anonymous is a gaywad.

so do you think this little comments section thing is funny?

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

do you?

 

Anonymous Anonymous is a gaywad.

nope

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

so then you admit that i am in fact funny.

 

Anonymous Anonymous is a gaywad.

were

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

AM

 

Anonymous Anonymous is a gaywad.

this is sooooo gay.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

you can stop whenevr you want

 

Anonymous Anonymous is a gaywad.

no i cant

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

why not?

 

Anonymous Anonymous is a gaywad.

because i'm not even a real person, i'm just you posting as anonymous

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

so are you trying to say that i cant stop if i wanted to?

 

Anonymous Anonymous is a gaywad.

well apparently you cant

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

so are you calling me fat?

 

Anonymous Anonymous is a gaywad.

i don't need to

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

takes one to know one

 

Anonymous Anonymous is a gaywad.

yup

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

fuck off.

 

Anonymous Anonymous is a gaywad.

ok

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

i don't know how to read. sincerely i don't, i have no idea what i'm typing right now. no idea whatsoever. i don't understand anything on this website. i don't even have the internet. what is the internet? what's going on here?

 

Anonymous Anonymous is a gaywad.

STOP! dear god STOP!

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

i cant

 

Anonymous Anonymous is a gaywad.

i TOLD you

 

Anonymous Szugye is a gaywad.

Where is photo section "five?"

Fab art kids:www.szugye.com

 

Blogger Wendy is a gaywad.

what the hell is going on around here? Is everyone drunk? Or, is everyone insane?

Yes.
you.
Nope.
Yep.
Stop.
No.
Yes.
Why.
Now.
Noway i friggen like it.
Go away.
no.
yes.
No.
Yes.
No.

Okay now I can't stop seriously, someone kill me or something...

It.
is.
too.
much.
fun.
ok.
bye.
now.
drunks.

 

Anonymous c.b. is a gaywad.

lol...i love it when you talk to yourself.

 

Blogger Cameron P is a gaywad.

Those things would never work b/c they're gay. Gay stuff doesnt work. It's proven, bitch,


Cameron P

 

Anonymous gabby is a gaywad.

i would only buy the noodlepants, and only as a gift for someone who needs a yeast infection

 

Blogger Lake Allison is a gaywad.

I ditched my infantile leech of a boyfriend, but I don't still need the alarm cock. My cat wakes me up with his boner.

For a while, I thought anonymous was me and I just didn't remember posting.

 

Blogger Paul is a gaywad.

I'll have you know I invented those noodle pants in '87 after I hit my head on the toilet.

 

Blogger krissy is a gaywad.

Mkay. I'm officially mesmerized.

 

Blogger Squid Vicious is a gaywad.

Dude, that whole charcoal underwear thing has already been invented. It was on the David Letterman show years ago.

I think that in all fairness you should remove that and in exchange you can use one of my inventions instead: DEHYDRATED WATER! All you have to do is add two quarts of water and it yields two quarts of "high quality water." Unfortunately, it doesn't work well in third world countries...

 

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