Pickle. Hot Dog. Ketchup. Mayo. Mustard. Donut Hole.

You know how when I get bored and I don't have anything I really want to write about, I fill out those MySpace Surveys and then post them on my blog? Yeah, well that's what this is you gaywads.

10 commenters:
When you go to your MySpace page, who are the current 10 people who have commented??

1. Your Mom
2. Your Dad
3. Your Sister
4. Your Brother
5. Your Uncle
6. Your Grampa
7. Your Gramma
8. President George W Bush
9. A Random Gay
10. A Real Live Fart.

Have you ever been in a relationship with 3 (Your Sister)?
If by relationship you mean: As she fiddles your brother's hot dog, I paint pictures of them with mustard and mayo on pink toilet paper -- yes, I AM in a relationship of sorts with her at this very second.

Describe 7 (Your Gramma) in one word:
Horny.

What's the best memory you have of 2 (Your Dad)?
One time your Dad and I were down at the mustard factory and we pantomimed one billion corn dog jokes with our hot dogs and then I killed him with a giant glob of cheese.

How did you meet 1 (Your Mom)?
I was the plastic surgeon she hired to fill her boobs with big globs of cheese and made it so her nipples could squirt mustard. She found me in the yellow pages. Ha ha get it? mustard yellow?

When was the last time you saw 6 (Your Grampa)?
I saw your Grampa at your Dad's funeral, he had a big mustard stain on his pants and I giggled the whole time.

How do you feel about 10 (A Real Live Fart)?
I like real live farts when they sound funny and/or resemble mustard, but not if they have the effect of deadly mustard GAS, unless I just HEAR about it and it involves some funny description of the way people look when they are choking. The idea of some dickhead choking on a real live mustard gas fart is kinda cool especially if he was choking on a hot dog at the same time.

What was 4's (your brother's) comment about?
read it yourself:
"merkley???, your pickle made ketchup and mayo come out of my donut hole"
Ketchup and pickle jokes are lame. Your brother totally wants to wobble my hot dog or something. The mayo part was pretty good though. Jizz jokes are top notch.

What don't you like about 5 (your uncle)?
He doesn't call the next day.

Have you met 9's (A Random Gay's) family?
have YOU met A Random Gay's family? That's what I thought pickledick, What are you, a fukkin homophobe? this is SF yo, get with the movement and bend over and let me introduce my hot dog to your buns mannn -- ahhh yeah, that's right -- just like that ---- oooohhhhhhhh yeah... see? There was nothin to phobe about that.

Did you comment back 3 (your sister)?
I slapped her really hard if that's what you mean. she's such a retard too, when I slapped her she's all "duuuurrrrr darrrrrrr" and then she made some of those big spit bubbles with her mouth and she also pooped her pants. It's rad you kept her feeding tube in, even radder that she only glurps down mustard and mayo. BTW, let's just say: if I crammed a hot dog way way way up her butt, do you think she'd get ANY nutrients from it? Because I was just doing my taxes and I think that might count as charitable donation seein's how she's a retard vegetable n'all.

What color looks best on 7 (your Gramma)?
That's easy, Mustard yellow unless she's naked then definitely whatever you call the color of mayo -- -- like clearish white or something.

Is 1 (Your mom) in a relationship?
technically, I never had sex with her, I just installed the cheese globs and mustard packets in her tits, why, did she say something?

What song reminds you of 10 (a real live fart)?
The one about beans being a musical fruit. That's so weird, I totally knew you were gonna ask that.

What would you change about 6 (your grampa)?
His diaper.

Does 5 (your uncle) tell you juicy secrets?
Eeeewwww, I just totally thought you said "juicy secretions" gross out. Anyway, no, no juicy secrets. Dude, say "juicy" like twenty times in a row. Jewwwsseeee... that's a weird word ---- *WEIRD* is a weird word too --- ooh, say THAT: weird word weird word weird word -- I love the english language it's so CRAZY.

Tell me something wonderful about 8 (President George W. Bush).
He is the best president on the history of our great nation.

Does 9 (A Random Gay) make you laugh?
All gays are hilarious especially when they snap their fingers and say stuff like "you go girl" I love that shit.

Ok now chop off your hot dog.

What? That's not a question.

Oh yeah, I don't have anymore questions.

Good. I was getting bored.

Me too.

We have a lot in common,

Yeah, sounds like you had sex with everyone in my family.

Nah, I was just joking.

I know.

Except about your Grampa, I'd totally change his diaper if I were you....... oh yeah, and I killed your Dad with a glob of cheese.

Just then merkley??? and the interviewer were hit by an out of control hot dog cart and killed as George W. Bush giggled about the whole idea of MUSTARD GAS.

The end.

That's all for now!
Don't get caught slowly sounding out the word JUICY and slowly morphing into the word JEWISHY while getting a really paranoid look on your face.
Your Most Effective Form Of Mustard/Birth Control Paste,
Ronald McDonald