merkley???: I May Not Be God, But at Least I'm Real.: Tookie Giveth and Tookie Pisseth Away (and a Totally Awesome Surprise Ending That Will Leave You Begging For Your Faggot Mommy)

December 12, 2005

Tookie Giveth and Tookie Pisseth Away (and a Totally Awesome Surprise Ending That Will Leave You Begging For Your Faggot Mommy)

So I bumped into Stanley "Tookie" Williams, the Aaron Neville impersonator and inventor/founder of the CRIPS in his cell on death row. He certainly was muscley and gigantic and Aaron Nevilley (only without the mole) but he was TOTALLY peeing his pants -- like MAJORLY.

"What's up Tookie? I ask as I flash him some weird hand stuff that makes it look like I am a gang, only do it really super super fast so he can't tell I'm just making it up and I make sure to add in the sign language thing for the letter *J* because it's the only one I ever really remember and it makes me look legit, "What's with all the pee?"

"It's not pee, it's lemonade", Tookie responds "I write kids books. I help kids. I am good. Nobel peace prize. I was nominated. It's lemonade. Taste it.

"Uuummmm well, no thanks, it's coming out of your weiner and ummm BTW, I don't think you should keep your weiner tucked between your legs like that. It doesn't look very tough."

"Duh. That's the point JIVE TURKEY" and then he does that thing Prince always did with the peace sign where he slides it across his eyes like he's tricky or sexy or something,

There's a knock at the door and in walks the one and only Snoop Doggy Dog, he is carrying a big bunny costume.

"Here Tookie nizzle -- put this on. It'll make you cuter izzle izzle fizzle fazzle fiddle faddle bedazzler."

"HA HA -- I LOVE Fiddle Faddle!" I say "and BeDazzlers!"

Tookie puts on the bunny suit and immediately fills it with pee.

"Good thinking Snoop!" I quip .. "this whole campaign to make Tookie into the cutest thing alive is totally awesome, not to mention COMPLETELY ADORABLE!"

"Tookienizzle nazzle -- you gotta stop pissizzling your pizzants. Pizzeople don't like pizzee. Pizzee ain't supposta bizzee pizzart of the prizzogrizzam!"

"Its not pee." I whisper in Snoops ear, "it's lizzemonizzade wizzink wizzink."

"Fo shizzle."

Anyway Tookie, I know you are super busy with last minute pants pissing and what not but I just wanted to say that I hate chinks too so I'm TOTALLY glad you slaughtered the fuck out of those -- what did you call them? Buddaheads? Yeah -- that was awesome -- dude --you know -- how you blew them away at point blank with a SHOTGUN

-- Arnold SchwarzeNegro should be fucking giving you a fucking AWARD for that shit. I mean that old gook was like 75 and his wife? Psshhh WHORE! And that daugher? That's what she gets for bein' a chink right?

OOOHHH and dude, and that freckled white dude you shot in the back at the 7-11 for like 60 bucks? --- what a total NERD!!

High five bro!

"Shhhhhhhh. Don't talk about the white one. Besides, I never admitted to either of those crimes". Tookie says as he ties a big pink bow on his head and fluffs his bunny tail. "Does this make my butt look cute?" Tookie asks Snoop -- "not in a gay way -- you know -- like a bunny's butt?"

"Fo shizzle my bizunny nizzle."

"And seriously," I continue, "that CRIPS gang you put together -- talk about a lifetime motherfucking achievement award --- the governor is TOTALLY gonna grant you clemency for that shit -- he HATES the coloreds and that's like the most ingenious anti-colored invention of all time. Did you plan that? You're like the Richard Simmons of black on black genocide or something. It's pure fucking genius. How did you come up with that? Like how many negroes have killed other negroes with all that gang stuff?"

"Thousands and thousands and billions" Tookie beams as he paints little cute freckles on his bunny cheeks. (still peeing buckets by the way.)

"Don't you worry Tookie, there ain't no way a good aryan like Arnold Schwarzenegro is gonna be putting you to death cuz you gotta keep them cute little negroes looking up to you as a hero so your anti-negro CRIPS invention can work and finally wipe the black race off the earth for good. What Nazi could possibly hate THAT!? I mean what better way to confuse a bunch of negroes than by getting a ruthless murderer who invented the leading cause of black death to write the books that will obviously inspire the young negroes to follow in his exact same footsteps but with the main trick being reverse psychology in that you tell them that gangs and your invention is "WHACK" and is only for "JIVE TURKEYS" and "DON'T DO IT". Honestly Tookie, I didn't even know that negroes KNEW about reverse psychology but you sure proved ME wrong. You writing books about the evils of gang life is like Charles Manson writing a book on how not to look creepy. It's AWESOME!!

"Thanks" says Tookie -- "How do you like this?" Tookie does his best Bo Jangles impersonation and I have to admit it is fucking adorable, it's like Aaron Neville without the mole and a whole lot more spunk only dressed as a bunny with his weenie tucked between his legs peeing five billion gallons.

"You are so TOTALLY gonna get clemency" I say.

Just then, in walks Oscar™ Award winner Jamie Foxx. He is still acting blind so he is bumping into shit and then he starts singing as Ray Charles:
"Happy biiiirrrrthday tooo oooo ooo ooooh oooh meeeeeeee e e eeee eee eee ,
happy buuuuuuuurrrth day to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee,
happy birth day dear Raaaaaaaayyyyy Chaaaaaaaarles,
happy birthday toooooo meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....."

and the eeeeeee part goes on for like three hours and ten minutes and not once does Tookie stop peeing his pants.

"Does he know he's not actually Ray Charles?" I ask Snoop.

"Nizzo"

"Anyway, I seriously gotta hand it to all of you guys, you couldn't have planned this more perfectly," I tell them "you got Snoop Dogg, one of the most famous CRIPS, you got Jamie Foxx as the beloved Ray Charles who is really the only black person besides Jimmy J.J. Walker that white people ever really liked, you got the NAACP, you got JESSIE MOTHERFUKKKIN' JACKKKSON, ... you guys have turned this whole situation into a win win for Whitey. What am I saying? This is win win win win win -- like ten or thirteen wins for whitey; Arnold says "DIE" and the book sales go through the roof, you're a martyr, blacks rebel and gangs get even bigger meaning more black on black murder and even though it's just a drop in the bucket your execution does equal one more dead black dude and if Arnold says LIVE, book sales go through the roof, you keep leading the black genocide with reverse psychology in your new bunny get-up. I mean, no matter what happens here Whitey wins. So on behalf of white people everywhere let me be the first to say THANK YOU TOOKIE!!

Just then I notice that I am, in fact, completely dead and have been for a few minutes because I apparently drowned in Tookie's billions of gallons of pee that flooded the earth. Everything I typed since I typed the spooky "KKK" in Jessie Jackson's name has been my actual ghost doing the typing. In fact, wanna know what? I just noticed that EVERYONE is dead EXCEPT TOOKIE!! What a weird twist. Snoop, Jamie Foxx as Ray Charles, Jessie Jackson, Charles Manson (who looks remarkably UNCREEPY -- dead --- hmmmmph), and even Arnold Schwarzenegro, EVERYBODY is dead, all drowneded in Tookie's PEE

Even you dear reader. You are dead too.

Today, we ALL drowned in Tookie's fear pee. It was a very special pee, that, like Noah's great flood, returned to cleanse the earth, only this time, there was no ark. So whatever you THINK you watched on TV or whatever you DREAMED that you read about this case after it is all decided, just remember it's all in your dead rotting head or spirit or ghost or whateverthefuck because you are in fact DEAD, we ALL are. Who knew?

At least we now know that there is DEFINITELY life after death and it's exactly like life BEFORE death except it smells a little bit more like Tookie's pee.

I'm not kidding. You're dead. Don't believe me? Punch yourself really hard in the face and see if you feel anything you fucking pee guzzling ghostfucks. Tookie giveth and Tookie pisseth away.

That's all for now!
Don't get caught fiddling with your ghost hoodeehoo and thinking "wow, this feels just like my regular hoodeedoo -- THANKS TOOKIE!"
Your Multi-National, Multi-Lingual, Multi-Sclerosis, Multi-Platform Lover of All Things ELLEN!,
Richard Pryor

FUCK FRANCINE!!:

gabrielle is a gaywad.

your posts keep making me hungry.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 8:46 PM

MPD is a gaywad.

Merk I have been peeing ever since I started to read this. As a matter of fact I'm still peeing

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:18 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

gabs,
pee makes you hungry, pee and hamburgerized tookie victim faces.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 11:31 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

MPD,
not really peeing though -- dead guy peeing maybe, but not real peeing. i'm not kidding. we are in the afterlife. get used to it. we pray to tookie now.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 11:32 PM

Bonar is a gaywad.

Wow!

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 5:30 AM

Squid Vicious is a gaywad.

A-Fucking-Men...
Thank you for stating what needed to be stated. All I learned from Dookie was if you're going to kill people, write a few children's books first.
After hearing all the facts on this case, a jury sentenced him to death for the MULITPLE crimes and MURDERS he committed. Then appeal after fucking appeal failed - after careful consideration of ALL THE EVIDENCE. He's had 25 years to get his shizzle commutedizzled. I guess Snoop put down the "chronic" long enough to attend a rally? Give me a break...
If I was Arnold Schwartzanizzle, I'd be injectanizzling the needle myself. (If I was alive and could make it through the fear pee.)

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 6:52 AM

Inner Fonzie is a gaywad.

Reading this post makes me feel like I just awoke from the most fucked up dream I ever had. Thanks.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 8:37 AM

Donkey Kong is a gaywad.

He killed people?

I thought all this fuss was over some seriously shitty childrens books.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:42 AM

Wendy is a gaywad.

See, now this is why I am here everyday, all day "stalking" your pee drenched corpse. Well, not so much stalking, as in reading what your dead brain has to say.

You are a friggen genius, best post ever. I'm glad other people out there "get it" and aren't caught up in the Rap, Hollywood, superstar bullshit media blitz.

Now if you will excuse me, I have to wash the pee off my ceiling.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:57 AM

Calzone is a gaywad.

I love O Henry endings

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:43 PM

Anonymous is a gaywad.

Bye Bye, Tookie. Set your VCRs for some good riot footage for shizzle my nizzle, Merkizzle dizzle.

(All apologies to American Pie):
I know that I won't be the one who cries;
When I read about his ass being fried;
Nothing touched me deep inside;
The day that murderer died.

Bye, Bye Tookie go die;
Stick the needle in the IV;
So he can go bye.
Write your children's books in Hell while you fry;
Singing this is the day that you die!

Love, Squid
(I'm too lazy to log in.)

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 5:04 PM

Virgle Kent is a gaywad.

Merkley???

Like my penis when I have an outbreak, I don't even want to touch this subject. I mean I want to but I wont. Well when I was 14 i wanted to join a gang then I read one of Tookie's books and decided that the Crips were wizack. So instead I joined the MS13 "Mi vida loca". I didn't want to get jumped in for 13 seconds so I decide to just sleep with one of the members. If you really saw Tookie did he teach you how to C walk? No? Welll tonight when he's getting dunsky, the crew and I will C walk for 12 minutes straight and spell his name out.

4 shizel

holla

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 5:14 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

Bonar,
You for got the WEEEE.

======================

Squid Vicious,
thanks dude. and thanks for the lovely poem. it's always nice to have a song in one's heart.

======================

Inner Fonzie,
imagine if i had published it the way i originally wrote it. it was all about TV's Facts Of Life's TOOTIE, but then suddenly i realized tookie was like dying today and so i switched it. tootie doesn't die for like months.

==================

Donkey Kong,
ha ha -- you totally win for best comment. awesome.

===================

Wendy,
thanks wendy. i can always count on you to back me up with anything regarding a little common sense.

oh yeah, and pee.

======================

Calzone,
it totally surprised you didn't it. now what the fuck did you do to married man? i told you he was tender and sensitive. now go buy some flowers for him and this time USE LUBE!

===========-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Virgle Kent,

a. never neglect the wang,

b. you? in a gang? HA!! menudo --- MAYBE.

c. now i have to google MS13

d. no he didn't teach me the C walk, truthfully, i think he was a little pissed that i kept calling him tootie and trying to grab his gigantic boobs. but if you can spell it out by walking then i magine it ain't too much different than making a snow angel or peeing in the snow --- hey, i wonder if there is a website deicated to people making snow angels in pee snow?

holla

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 5:58 PM

Anonymous is a gaywad.

Merkeley, I don't know how you can say all this! Tookie has a host of awards for his accomplishments, including the Annual Best Afro Award (twice), the Cell Block 4 Bench Press Contest, Best Looking Gang Banger (1978, 1979), and the Annual Illest Nigga Award (won 8 times times). How dare you diminish him?

BTW, your myspace pic is cute. Nice pink dress and I'm wondering, do you dye your hair that blond color? Can I have your telephone number? (tehe)

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 6:37 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

anonymous,
first of all don't be anonymoous.

second of all: DIMINISH? you kids are all so jaded that you think EVERYTHING is sarcastic. this was a heartfely hommage. i really do believe that tookie is the new jesus and that his pee has saved us from ourselves.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 6:50 PM

Calzone is a gaywad.

I know, I'll miss the little fucker. It won't be the same paying a stranget to lack my sack.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 6:59 PM

Professor Leotus Clouse & The Duke of Sweet Cheeks is a gaywad.

He is officially gone now...

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 1:22 AM

Professor Leotus Clouse & The Duke of Sweet Cheeks is a gaywad.

anybody know of any kick ass riots to attend?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 1:24 AM

Professor Leotus Clouse & The Duke of Sweet Cheeks is a gaywad.

I got half a bottle of thunderbird and an old sawed off pistol grip pump, in my lap at all times of course.
Merkley, wanna go ride on some fools?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 1:27 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

well,
so my friend will franken called and asked if i wanted to drive out to san quentin to witness the whole specatcle and perhaps make asses of ourselves --- what -- on a monday night? with him driving? how could i resist --

all the usual suspects were there acting like total idiots, Will had three protest signs in his trunk from his comedy act -- one was the single letter L one was Z one was D and we held them for their inherent absurd qualities. there were lots of hippies and black dudes wearing blue --- when people asked me what the Z on my sign stood for i'd always come back with some jack ass comment like "i'm to la Z to kill tookie myself" or "if you knew tookie like i know tookie, you'd KNOW what Z stood for YOU POSER" at one point we were surrounded by angry people of color with the occasional dreadlocked white hippie becuase we were obviously mocking them and laughing a lot while they sung their hymns and compared him to ghandi, moses, and mlk --- truly absurd shit.

my favorite quips were when people would ask me about my sign i'd say -- well -- you see, tookie is one of my best friends --- we have been really good friends since pre CRIP days, i remember when he first thought of the crips and i called him a douchebag --- anyway, as Tookies best friend i can say that he is a TOTAL ASSHOLE and he deserves to die. -- i think that remark is the one that got us surrounded.

one woman was holding a giant protest sign and she sighed very loudly "shame on the USA" and i fired back quite loudly in a very gay tone, "shame on you for wearing that orange jacket oh and girl that hair dye -- you need to dye YO ROOTS girl" that one garnered laughs even from the praying hippie fags.

anyway -- i could write a whole bunch more -- but i don't feel like it -- next time i'll plan it out a little more and do it for the cameras so i can share with you all.

but man -- protest people are the craziest people on the planet.

oh yeah -- also, i walked by mike farrell who played bj honeycut or something on MASH and as he was being interviewed with a somber expression on his face, i poked him gently on his shoulder and said really loud "HEY IT'S THAT RADAR DUDE FROM MASH!!"

ok that's a lie -- i only said "HEY IT'S THAT DUDE FROM MASH" but i SHOULD have said radar or klinger.

did you see me on tv?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 2:49 AM

THEMERRYJANETRAIN is a gaywad.

I just don't know why you aren't published yet. It confounds the mind.
But seriously, will someone fill me in on the pee references? Did the whiny ass bitch cake have a bed wetting problem? Or is it the usual exhibitions of characteristics of males potty trained by means of violence and shame? (wow, I guess I was listening in PSYCH 101) I am blowing my own mind. However, it is more likely that I can't fall asleep after 2 days of driving through Nebraska and Whyoming. You will make my apologies in just such an instance?
I am going to stop typing now

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 7:00 AM

Wendy is a gaywad.

Seriously?! Man, I would have given my left ovary to be there with the drum lady. I watched the whole thing on all three major cable news channels until 2AM my time. Damn. I am going to give you my home phone number so if this happens again, you can call me and I will record you on TV.

Yeah, I didn't even realize Blow Job, Uhh, I mean Mike Farrell was such a hippy until yesterday. He and Cavuto or somebody like him, nearly had a shout fest. Of course BJ is too quiet and peaceful to shout, but he began to visibly shake with anger.

Shoot, wish I had seen you on the box, that would have been cool.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 8:56 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

merry,
well -- i'd have to write a book first -- right?

pee -- yeah as in "scared the piss out of"

most organisms have been recorded to release the contents of their bladders and even their bowels in cases of extreme fear or surprise. i thought this would be an obvious detail of my story.

i hope that helps.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:05 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

wendy,
yeah, i have been looking through flickr to see if we showed up in some background shots but i haven't found anything yet.

i'm kinda pissed at myself that i didn't take pictures -- i was slightly buzzed -- whatever.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:06 AM

Virgle Kent is a gaywad.

Hey! dont sleep on Menudo! didn't you see City of God, Menudo was that gang of little kids that shot lill Zen at the end...duh. Hold up you didn't see City of God? Well um foreget what I just told you.

By the way you've inspired me to put together a charity event in honor of Tookie. We were hoping you could be one of our Celebrity guests. Please check the holla for more information.

Thank you

Jesus Saves

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:14 AM

Anonymous is a gaywad.

Squid here...
You know, I wish I could have driven up there to watch the lights flicker at San Quentin. Wait, it was a shot, sorry.
For the rest of your life you will have the memory of Tookie's last night. Glad you made it out ok...

As a tribute to the late, great Tookie, I am enclosing a quote from one of his children's books entitled:
Don't Be Joinin' No Gangs Muthafucka

"Shoot you in yo' face;
Brains all over da place;
Whitey layin' on the flo';
Won't be hollain' no mo';
I thought it'd be coo';
To be all braggy like a foo';
Tell my boyz in da Crips;
I'z a one who dun did zis;
But the lawerz' struck a deal;
To make them fuckaz squeal;
The pinned this rap on me;
Now I iz in a penatentury;
I did not do these crimez;
Them otha folks be liaz;
As to who did really did this;
I cannot speak up on dis;
Cuz' I ain't no snitch;
Jesse Jackson'z my bitch;
So go on and kill me if you dare;
I'z born to be a mar-tare!"

RIP Tookie. Say hello to Ted Bundy, Jeffery Dahmer, and the other mass murderers in hell. Oh, wait, you had 25 years to "get right with God". That's 25 years more than the 4 people you murdered. I guess they would have liked to gain clemency too...

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:31 AM

Bonar Bain is a gaywad.

Awesome tale, Merkley.

(I didn't forget the "WEEEE".I knew it would sound funnier when you said it.)

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:44 PM

Sue-G is a gaywad.

Maybe if his nickname was "Tucky," Arnold would have saved him. Just a thought.

Dude! You were at the Utah Jazz celebration and now Tookie. What gives? You just like people who look like Karl Malone/Rodney King/Aaron Neville.

"Fart Knocker!"

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:49 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

sugye,
i dont get the tucky thing.

indeed, i do think that utah jazz thing was the last big spectacle thing i attended --- believe it or not i thought about it a few times when i was out at san quentin.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 12:07 AM

Anonymous is a gaywad.

Oh! I am so sorry, please let me clarify what I consider "published": getting paid for your brand of particular brand of blather. Well, why don't you get on with it already, what you waitin for you stupid whore?
Will no one let me in on the scatological vein of this
post?
I love San Quentin. Why don't you do a follow up story with cameras and mike? Y'know, in the daily show style. But maybe you have already done this and I am being redundant. But maybe I know you all to well, and you won't do something until its your idea...,sigh. Nevermind.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 7:54 AM

THEMERRYJANETRAIN is a gaywad.

To lazy to log in sorry

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 7:57 AM

Willy Jo is a gaywad.

i came to yer site just in time to rub won out. thanks fer the fotos.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 2:05 PM

poopee shmoopee is a gaywad.

i kinda had to pee when i read this post, but then after seeing the photos i really had to poop. when i got to the bathroom i realized that it was only my period.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 2:28 PM

Anonymous is a gaywad.

Bridget?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 8:01 PM

Lake Allison is a gaywad.

Leave it to Merkley to make an intellegent political statement with his pee jokes. Tool. =P

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:17 PM

~Cheryl is a gaywad.

social commentary/peejoke/stalker comment drama. i do adore lurking here.

< sobstory>i have a stalker; he figured out the yahoo password of a guy I was dating last spring and sent me all the e-mails dateguy had been sending/receiving from other laydeez. it was LOVELY. i called les gendarmes and turned off comments on my blog, and the silly cunt now harries me via a rerouter in the Netherlands. It is peelicious. I highly recommend.< /sobstory>

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:51 AM

Danny is a gaywad.

Ok, merks. I have to hand it to you on this one. This is by far, your finest achievement. And I only wish that some day, I will be able to post something similar to what you have created. FPF was no match. None.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 12:39 PM

LBseahag is a gaywad.

HA HA HA!

I enjoyed this...
As much as I enjoyed his ass getting pounded and then taken down...

You complete me.

Signed-
Resident of Los Angeles

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 2:07 PM

C Ro is a gaywad.

Who knew pee could be so thought provoking?

I post this link here in no way to disagree with your missive, but to get your thoughts on the article and how it affects (or doesn't) your opinion of Tootie, oops, I mean Tookie.

Tookie Not Founder of Crips

PS Stalkers seem tiring. I no longer want one.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 3:37 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

Squid,
whatever, i suck up to you all the time. well i mean, i suck up to your tentacles all the time, well i mean i sometimes give one of your tentacles a handjob every now and then -- wait that wasn't me, that was willy jo or wait was it willy jo's tentacle? i cant rememeber but now i am thinking about a bunch of penises waving all over the plac3e and it's making me hungry or like maybe that i want to go to the car-wash.

=====================

~Cheryl,
oh cheryl -- i hate it when people turn off their comments. how else am i supposed to come over and make an ass of myself? it's no fun just being an ass here all the time.

=====================

Danny,
oh puhlease, this old thang? dude, fudge packer fridays is a legacy that should continue and you know it. i might have to revive all the best gags from all the best blogs dropping off the screen. you know, just basically steal them -- in time, nobody will remember that i didn't invent them and i will get all of your glory and then point directly into your eyeball and laugh like a loon.

=======================

LBseahag,
your blog triad you have over there is quite amusing -- most notably the bums gone loopy one. that one has some staying power for sure. thanks for commenting.

====================

C Ro is a gaywad.
long time no see C ro -- yeah you know i figured as much -- something stunk about that story but it was no surprise whatsoever, that douchebag was all avbout tookie from the get go -- i guess he wont be lying anymore. yay!

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 6:51 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

as many of you know there is a mentally derranged woman who stalks me and wrecks my fun here on this blog. i have deleted all of her comments and the comments that were directed in her direction. i refuse to allow a nuttcase turn this (totally sane)blog into a forum for her insanity.

this is a place for MY boogers and poop and MY insanity and the insanity of those who know how to conduct themselves like uummmm people i like.

from now on, unless you catch her comments before i do, we won't, at least YOU won't be hearing from her around here anymore. delete city.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:35 PM

THEMERRYJANETRAIN is a gaywad.

Bravo Alpha good buddy. Right behind you. Haters suck.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 12:31 PM

Danny is a gaywad.

Dude, you can totally steal Fudgepacker Fridays. Just promise to out the corpse of Tookie.

And you and Calzone can still lick my sack, and I'll lick yours.

And tell that aluaP (hehe, it's code), to suck my dick. She's good at it.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 12:56 PM

Cletus Monet III is a gaywad.

Hey batch,

I just killed a cuple a my naybers chickens. We were gonna celebrate the baby jesus turd. yur cordiuly invited.

vuluptiusly yurs,

Clete

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 7:36 AM

borkborkbork is a gaywad.

Hey, Merkeley???.

That is so awesome that you actually went out to the prison with fake protest signs and caused a ruckus. I giggled just thinking of it. Most non-Tookie type people will NOT shoot you, even if you make them real mad. But you should have worn a Jesus costume. Then it would have been even funnier.

You should start a new topic about how drunk everyone got at the Von Iva show. It was hot like 1983.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 3:07 PM

ScaryCheri is a gaywad.

man....I miss all the good news. I really should start reading the words and not just look at the pictures.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 6:07 PM

Danny is a gaywad.

great, now she's ranting on my blog. fuck.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 11:56 AM

holly is a gaywad.

is that a pacifier in the chink-chicks mouth?

eddy ate baby poop today!

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 5:42 PM

Lake Allison is a gaywad.

Merkley, oh tastiest ass-cheese, you missed my pink eye scare!

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 8:14 PM

Wendy is a gaywad.

Dude, please, I can't take the carnage anymore. Post a pic of a bunny or something...

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:26 PM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

THEMERRYJANETRAIN,
i don't understand anything ever.
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Danny,
you can quit the curtw blog but i think i speak for us all that you are forbidden to delete what is already there. ok, i know i ain't your boss, but it made you horny when i commanded you didn't it.
====================

Cletus Monet III,
nobody knows how to celebrate the holidays like you. i'll round up the kids and we'll bring a vaseline casserole -- weee hooo.
====================

borkborkbork,
i did tell a few people that i was jesus and then of course i called tookie a pussy "you didn't hear me pissin and moanin up on the cross" shit like that.

yeah, von iva was fun -- i got super drunk. did we ride in the same truck? hmmmnnn -- now i hafta fegro out who you are.
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ScaryCheri,
i had a feeling you were just looking at the pictures.
that's what i would do too.
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holly,
pacifier? yeah, she was only like 40 something, it's always way sadder when the kids get shot -- she was still in diapers too.
=====================

Allison Quick the Assasin Chick,
oh no i did NOT miss your pink eye, i was just too damn scared to touch my keyboard for fear of getting it. pink eye is surely one of the most pathetic diseases --- mann has it ever been a long time since i woke up with my eyes glued shut --- if it happens now i'm totally blaming you.
==========================

Wendy,
ok -- i'll post something new -- i have been a lazy forking blogger lately. i think i might be depressed about all the bloggers that are dying of aids.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 4:13 AM