e live in a new day, where conversations are routinely recorded and saved on disks. Here is one from yesterday. I honestly don't know what happened. I invite you -- no --- ask you -- wait -- BEG you, my friends, random strangers, mortal enemies and the Queen of England (I'm pretty sure she reads my blog) to analyze this conversation and tell me what the fuck my problem is. --- or, maybe I don't really have a problem, I honestly don't fucking know.
The conversation was on aol IM.
Woman: do you like cheap trick?
merkley???: mostly for memories
merkley???: i'd never seek it out
Woman: i have a song that's been stuck in my head for a few days now
Woman: mandocello i think it's called
Woman: do you know it?
merkley???: i'm not sure
merkley???: how do the words go?
Woman: iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, i can hear you laughing. but you're a million miles away or your near
Woman: but it keeps starting with a long drawn out iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Woman: iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii know the thoughts your thinking
Woman: i dont know
Woman: maybe you wouldn't know it
(a few minutes pass)
merkley???: i just pulled it up on itunes
merkley???: i dont recognize it
Woman: ok. well nevermind then
merkley???: did you have more to say about it?
Woman: it's been stuck in my head for a few days
merkley???: where did you hear it?
Woman: well i have the cd but i always forget about it
Woman: but the other night at my friend XXXXXX's when we played records all night we listened to that
Woman: and he just told us a story about it so we listened to it again
Woman: and ever since, it's been in my head
(a few minutes pass)
merkley???: i just downloaded a cover version of that song by concrete blonde and now i remember the original
Woman: like you didn't recognize the orginal
merkley???: the itunes clip was too short
Woman: oh oh
Woman: i see
Woman: well anyway, that song is a major guilty pleasure of mine
Woman: as are most cheap trick songs
merkley???: why guilty?
merkley???: there is no guilt in music
Woman: there is when you listen to the same song like 300 times in a row
merkley???: guilty implies that you aren't supposed to like it
Woman: i don't care what it implies
Woman: it's a figure of speech
merkley???: i know
merkley???: perhaps we hear the figure of speech differently
merkley???: guilty pleasure has always implied that you would be ashamed to admit it -- like say you are a really big fan of the spice girls and all of your friends think you are lame because of it
Woman: i know what it means
merkley???: i just never heard of anyone being ashamed or embarassed about cheap trick
Woman: is there a point you are trying to prove?
merkley???: clam down
Woman: b/c i'm not sure why we are still discusing my choice of words
merkley???: i'm trying to understand what you mean
merkley???: is that wrong?
Woman: no, but i don't mean anything important by it
Woman: i wasn't even thinking about it when i said it
merkley???: well then its ok to ask what you meant?
Woman: but you didn't ask what i meant
Woman: you told me why what i said was not what i meant
merkley???: i said "why guilty?"
merkley???: thats a question
Woman: and told me there is no guilt in music
merkley???: then i gave my definition
Woman: which implies that what i said was wrong
merkley???: oh brother
merkley???: you are unquestionable
Woman: no. but i don't really think this is a very important issue
merkley???: i wasn't insulting you
Woman: like one that needs to be dissected and analyzed
merkley???: so then why the big deal?
Woman: b/c i don't like to obsess over something that i don't even care about
Woman: i'd rather you pick apart my thoughts on something i even consider
merkley???: i will refrain from getting clarification or starting conversation in the future
Woman: there we go with the all or nothing
merkley???: it was a simple question followed by a simple statement of my point of view
Woman: at first
merkley???: and then you got all defensive
Woman: it could have ended when you said "perhaps our definitions are different"
Woman: i said "perhaps"
merkley???: but then we both continued the discussion
Woman: i'm not defensive about this in particular
Woman: just that most of what i say gets this treatment
merkley???: i have no idea what you are talking about
merkley???: what is so wrong with me having a discussion about the figure of speech "guilty pleasure"?
Woman: b/c often times your "discussions" come off as lessons
merkley???: for all i know you think cheap trick is lame and for losers
merkley???: and so you turn around and give me the lesson instead?
merkley???: i dont get it
Woman: i don't think i gave any lesson
merkley???: you are giving me one now
Woman: other than telling you i don't care too much about this subject
merkley???: about how to communicate
Woman: step #2 reverse the accusation
merkley???: step three
merkley???: identify the subjects problem
merkley???: step 4
merkley???: there he goes again
Woman: no that was the first step
Woman: then once the subjects problem is identified
Woman: you reverse it and pretend the it's the problem identifyers problem
merkley???: look how you are turning this into my character flaw
Woman: oh, i thought you loved doing things like this
Woman: my mistake
merkley???: and i was just getting clarification on whether or not you thought it was LAME to like cheap trick
Woman: if you don't we can stop at any time
Woman: well i don't
Woman: so there
(a few minutes pass)
merkley???: i have no idea what that was about
merkley???: please identify where i was wrong or preachy or whatever set you off
(a few more minutes pass -- enough time for me to re-read it twice)
merkley???: read it again
merkley???: i wasnt being a jerk
merkley???: you were
Woman: i'm really not interested in arguing about who is at fault either
Woman: chances are we would read it and view it the same way
Woman: considering only 5 minutes has passed
Much later, after a nice meal with some of my best and oldest friends, I made the mistake of bringing the conversation up again JOKINGLY and long story short -- it went the same way only worse and we ended up both stomping off in opposite directions.
So? Thoughts? Am I a fuckhead? Our conversations seem to go like this a lot. I don't know why. I'm asking. Teach me people.
That's all for now,
Don't get caught blah blah blah,
Your blah blah blah,