SideBar Free In 2003!

October 30, 2005

13 Photographs That Are Not Funny Or Hilarious But Are Nonetheless Fantastic So Shut The Hell Up Allison!!!


Lulu


Jade


Alia


Mikey


Mikey


Christina


Kiley


Elise-Marie


Richie Panic of The Microcasettes


Brooke


Brooke's Boobs


Jefrodesiac


Hannah "Banana Splitzer" Sitzer
I gave her that nickname because I rule.

That's all for now.
Don't get caught with a robot penis stuck in your sisters toaster.
Your Favorite Mean Mean Mean Mean Old Man That Lives In Your Dildo,
merkley???

FUCK FRANCINE!!:
Anonymous the gipper is a gaywad.

hairdo heaven on halloween series?

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

sounds good to me.

 

Blogger Dashiell is a gaywad.

Merkely???,

Stop being so fabulous and taking fabulous photos of all your fabulous friends. You suck.

Love,
Dash

 

Blogger Lake Allison is a gaywad.

Ooh.. fake blood..

From now on, cover all the models in fake blood before you take their pictures.

 

Blogger Squid Vicious is a gaywad.

Dude, like I know it's San Fran and all, but, if I wanted to like see dudes, I'd like go to a dude show. Wait, are there dude shows? I'm just asking, not that I...
Boobs rock!

 

Blogger Satan is a gaywad.

I don't know Merks??? the 'Brooke's Boobs' shot got me laughing, are you sure this isn't meant to be funny. Fantastic and Funny... try harder next time young man!



PS. The taking the piss comment was not as a result of alcohol or ingesting ecstacy... We were both just using the word 'awesome' a lot on our posts. Awesome!

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

dash,

oh boy do i ever suck. but like i said before, it's because i take some of the most hideous people known to man and make them a tiny bit less hideous.

wait -- that makes me awesome -- or gay -- who knows anymore.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

allison,
who said it was fake. i makke my subject bleed with a searing wit and a sharp fork.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

squid,
i wont tell anyone about your private IMs requesting dudes dudes and more dudes.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

satan,
it's true -- boobs are pretty funny if you really think about what they are for.... i mean we're supposed to drink stuff out of them things and touch them with boards and spoons?

 

Blogger Wendy is a gaywad.

Hannah looks a lot like Lisa Marie Presley.

 

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October 29, 2005

It's Awesome. Holy Shit I Can't Believe How Awesome It Is. Totally Awesome.

What's Awesome you ask?

This Totally Awesome Video Blog. That's what's awesome.

That's all for now.
Don't get caught being totally awesome.
Your Awesome AwesomeFace,
merkley???

FUCK FRANCINE!!:
Anonymous Anonymous is a gaywad.

yeah. france sucks. the only think i like about france are those garlicky, gritty, snails. and frog legs.

I can hear the audio, but I can't see the video. i got a message saying that that particular plug-in wasn't available at the Quicktime server.

don't know if anyone else is having the same problem?

 

Blogger Alex Blagg is a gaywad.

you're not missing much. just the faggoty ramblings of a hungover douchebag.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

you'd know alex, i still have some of your lipstick on my anus.

move to new york already -- sheesh.

who knows what the trouble is? who cares really?

 

Anonymous Anonymous is a gaywad.

yeah, but what if you're a hunk?

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

you bet your ass i'm a hunk -- i'm like a chunk of hunk'n'junk and that aint no bunk or god damned gunk and i'm hung like an elephants trunk but i got the funk of a skunk dead in a trunk --- PUNK.

 

Anonymous Anonymous is a gaywad.

i think you are drunk.

or maybe
a monk?

too long in the abbey
no bath
and so funk.

 

Blogger Willy Jo is a gaywad.

awsum

 

Blogger Jay V is a gaywad.

holy CRAP this was the coolest one EVER! I'm making a new one when I can as a tribute to the great . . . merkley???

 

Anonymous borkborkbork is a gaywad.

Perhaps you could start a delivery service to supply the males who don't end the night with a bunch of girls in their car.

AAA Backseat Love Express merkeley???

Instead of going home, why don't you make out with all of them at once, or, better yet, get all of them to make out and then take their pictures and make them look beautiful in Photoshop?

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

ok anonymous -- you win -- but you are still a crudball for being anonymous.

----------------------------------

Willy Jo,
you accidentally misspelled that word bud.


-----------------------------------


Jay V,
You're making a new what?

-----------------------------

borkborkbork,

i have a fairly good supply of photos of nice ladies making out with other nice ladies and lots of boob grabbing - ahhhh sweet alcohol -- someday i might do a collection.

 

Blogger Satan is a gaywad.

Are you taking the piss?

 

Blogger Professor Leotus Clouse & The Duke of Sweet Cheeks is a gaywad.

I love the vlogs!
There was a girl asking you to take photos of her boobies on my blog too, what's up with that?!
I had to put her in her place...

I told her that if she wanted roofies and nudies then to go ask Merkley directly, stop pussyfootin’ round meh blog.

Anyways, I also told her to be forewarned; "I’ve heard many other unsuspecting virgins like yourself wandering clueless into Merkley’s embrace. And instead of slipping them a roofie and taking nudies as they’d hoped for, he’ll slip them a tab of acid and abandon them at a Chucky Cheese bar with a bill that included 58 pitchers of beer, 27 jager shots, 9 incriminating photo booth sessions with Chucky the Rat (no diffused glow effect either), and a [text] message that says 'I’m not sorry'."

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

satan,
are you drunk?

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

professor,
what? where -- who wants a picture of their boobs.

that's some funny shit there baloneyballs.

 

Anonymous melina is a gaywad.

happy day of hallowe'en!

if that's your flat, merks, it's way neat-o lookin...liked the b/w effect and little 2 x 2 sized screen.

is that snortzle weirdeye mcteeth or butterface? couldn't tell, but always so cutsie to have a doggie in an intro!

i have to say, you remind me a little of jim morrison in this vlog, and that is meant as a compliment, bitch.

can i be more in love with you? only if i get a drunk text message in my lifetime...

oh, and you photoshopped the chest hair off of brooke's boobs pretty well it looks like. thanks for doing that! hee hee heh heh

v. good!

 

Blogger Lake Allison is a gaywad.

I can hear the sound, but not see the picture.

 

Anonymous Anonymous is a gaywad.

there is no video, is there, you little gnome?

~~anonymous eastcoast bi-sexual, who longs to see west coast boobies.

 

Anonymous Anonymous is a gaywad.

I lied about being bisexual. I just wanted to look cool, hip, and uh,...attractive to men.

Where the fuck are the funny stories you used to tell? I'm sick of lookin' at chicks.

~~not east coast and not bisexual

 

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October 27, 2005

Off to The Art Show Homos!

I'm part of a group show tonight at Mighty Art Gallery. The theme is Super Heros. I owed my buddy Romanowski a painting because he gave me one of his, so being the lazy bastard I am, I decided to kill two birds with one stone and I did HIM as the super hero. They don't call me DUMBFUCK fer nuthin.

Here it is. Click on it to see it bigger.





That's all for now.
Don't get caught waiting till the last second to get your painting done!
Your Master Procraster!
merkley???

FUCK FRANCINE!!:
Blogger Wendy is a gaywad.

Stop being so talented. You are really pissing me off.

I really liked it bigger, that way you see the "weeeeg" you would miss otherwise. What is the bottom purple panel? I couldn't tell on this dumb computer. Is it multi media? It kinda looks like watercolor and pen, but not being able to touch it, I don't know.

See people, he is busy behind the scenes of this blog...

 

Blogger Satan is a gaywad.

Is he caught on a coat hook... or floating.

It's great man.

 

Blogger Squid Vicious is a gaywad.

Art show homos? We always called them "art fags". I guess these times they are a changin', huh?

You've got a lot of talent. Is your inspiration derived from PCP, LSD, or GBH?

 

Anonymous patatomic is a gaywad.

Roman is good. Way good. I regret the last day I was his room mate and didn't get out of there with with one of his fish collages.

Nice illustration, by the way. You have cannonized him well.

 

Blogger Wendy is a gaywad.

OH! They are rocket shoes!

Satan, hover tennies.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

wendy,
thanks. the dudes name is romanowski -- from the top clockwise the little window deas are two oars for ROW the penis dude for MAN at the bottom is a hammer smashing a thumb for OW and then a pair of skis for SKI.

i'm awesome.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

satan,
flying with his rocket shoes dude.

thanks.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

squid,
you mean ghb? or are you talking about the punk band?

i don't eat drugs.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

splat,
thanks dude. i didn't realize you were blogging. i'll stop by and wreck it every once in a while with poop and fart and booger and what not.

 

Blogger funkybiznatch is a gaywad.

i like the little penis window thing.

 

Blogger Squid Vicious is a gaywad.

It's been a few years, since my scientific study and "field research", but as I recall:

gammahydroxybutyrate: AKA Liquid ecstasy, GBH, GHB, GBL, BDO, Blue Nitro, Midnight Blue, RenewTrient, Reviarent, SomatoPro, Serenity, Enliven

 

Blogger Squid Vicious is a gaywad.

Anyway, yeah, I meant the band. Have you heard them live?

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

squid,
yes sir. 1984 i think. slc utah. punk dude.

 

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October 25, 2005

Katie, The Wind Blew The Poop Right Back Into My Butt Katie!



I was standing there Katie, nearly horizontal, yelling in the wind, just doing my job as a weatherman, when suddenly the crap got scared right out of me Katie, but just as the poop exited my butt, a gust of Wilma wind blew it RIGHT BACK IN Katie! Only now that little turd was cold and had a piece of wood stuck through it Katie. Then I peed because it was funny and also I needed to pee because I drank a lot of beer Katie, but the wind blew the pee all over a trampoline that was flying through the air Katie which made me laugh with my mouth wide open, really really loud laughs Katie, but then the wind grabbed my tounge and pulled it out of my head Katie, and Katie, you're not gonna believe this Katie, then the wind blew my own tounge right up my very own butt, that very same butt from which the poop was scared and into which it was quickly re-deposited, and when my tounge was blowed up my butt, It got hooked on the nail that was in the peice of wood that got blown through my turd when it was briefly out of my butt Katie. It kinda turned me into a suitcase looking thing with my tounge acting as a handle Katie.

Then, and I swear it on my own watery wind blowey grave, God almighty himself grabbed me by the tounge handle and shook me violently sending my underwear flying though the air at 5 billion miles an hour landing on the face of, and therefore blinding and suffocating the Statue of Liberty Katie. There were total skidmarks in those underwear Katie. Hurricane Blown Turd-Out then Turd-In again Skidmarks Katie.

This is a sad day for America Katie. Yea, Believest I that it is the end of days Katie.

Hurricanes are frickin' goofy and shit Katie. God bless us all Katie. Except Negroes and Gays Katie. Except Negroes and Gays.















That's all for now.
Don't get caught gettin' all biblical and shit Katie.
Your True Prophet of God Katie.
merkley??? Katie.

FUCK FRANCINE!!:
Blogger Satan is a gaywad.

Please tell me that girl (in two photos) is Katie because she seriouly just blew the shit out of me. You lucky, lucky, biblical bastard!

Oh yeah, motherfucking weeg fire.

 

Blogger Squid Vicious is a gaywad.

I hate it when the wind does that to my butt.

(The second picture must have been taken just as the ruffies kicked in. Judging by the drink there on the bar, she's either a lightweight or that's not her first "cocktail".)

 

Anonymous gaby is a gaywad.

remember when you used to write really funny fiction but it wasnt really fiction? and it was like, pee your pants funny?


that was good. not that this is bad per se, but its not as good. i didnt pee my pants.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

satan,
i think i meant katie couric. american tv star an one of your most ardent supporters.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

squid,
i was singing her a beautiful song.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

gaby,
yup -- i'm sooo washed up.

 

Blogger Satan is a gaywad.

Well, I don't know who that is but I'm liking it.

 

Blogger poopee shmoopee is a gaywad.

yeah. he definitely looks consipated.

i think you should write a story book about a weatherman who's secret super power was sucking giant tropical storms up his butt and peeing out amazonian rainforest fires.

 

Blogger Dashiell is a gaywad.

My goodness, that pool table must be filthy! I hope your friend took a bath aftewards.

 

Blogger marriedman is a gaywad.

This post, Merkley, has to be the worst thing I've ever read. How can you, in good conscience, write such drivel? How do you sleep at night? You are screwing up America, Merkley.

Help yourself.

Love ya!!

 

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October 24, 2005

13 Tapes I Made When I Was 13



























That's all for now.
Don't get caught farting directly into the microphone and then putting it up to your mouth to do other hilarious junk.
Your Expert Studio Engineer Specializing In Farts,
merkley???

FUCK FRANCINE!!:
Blogger Wendy is a gaywad.

I insist you convert the toilet flushing and Cosby with farts at the end to digital and Audioblog 'em...at once! Get on it and no back talk.

 

Anonymous no doubt is to gaby what devo is to merkley is a gaywad.

funny, when i was 13 i made a mix cd called no doubt and hand claps. cause im a girl and girls dont fart.

but i think those tapes are fake. 13 year olds dont write backwards. youve forgotten your youth.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

wendy,
these are just fake tapes i made in photoshop --- oh lordy lordy how i wish i had the real ones which i swear on butterfaces soul exist.

all we ever did when i was little was record funny shows and farts and burps and the occasional grandma peeing.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

gaby,
see above

 

Blogger Satan is a gaywad.

I'm sooooo disallusioned right now... I can't believe you made something up Merkley???, 'made up' I say again, you're a disgrace, I don't care if it's unbelievably funny Mr I'm a Terrible Untruth Teller Merkely???. It's the principle, the unfunny principle of the thing!

Now, YOU go to Church! I'm not allowed in for some reason

 

Anonymous holly is a gaywad.

merks, did you ever do mix tapes?
these share heavy insights into the 13 year old soul. I was a mix tape factory from about 13 to 17.
"in love" mixes - tragic "break up/fuck you" mixes... you name it. Maybe you did fart mix tapes?

 

Anonymous holly is a gaywad.

actually, I just thought about it some more and I think you did
"inspirational breast cancer mix" and "touch my a-hole mix"

right?!?!

 

Anonymous melina is a gaywad.

oh my, oh my...cassette tapes! even though you *say* these are photoshopped, can you actually recall what brand/model of cassette tape player you used for the recordings? panasonic was really tops back then. (press the record and play button simultaneously!)

what's really funny about this is how everyone who's done the same thing is all confessional-like.

my greatest moment in cassette recordings was the one when i put the cat in the closet and recorded it all meowing wanting to get out. hours of laughter that stunt provided. pathetic. well, besided the farting ones...

now you're swearing on pore 'ole innocent butterfaces' SOUL? pobrecito butterface.

 

Anonymous Anonymous is a gaywad.

I once recorded myself singing a pre-pubescent version of Pearl Jam's "Better man." Didn't work out too well, should have stuck with the Clay Aiken "Invisible."

 

Blogger Satan is a gaywad.

Yeah. OK. That last outburst was because I once made a mixed tape and she spurned me. THANKS FOR BRINGING UP PAINFUL MEMORIES YOU CUNT! Sorry, I'll go to church.



Bwhahahaha VW is 'civil'... no I'm not!

 

Anonymous gaby is a gaywad.

rabbis arent supposed to lie. here i am following your blog like its the freakin gospel truth and you're telling me SOMETHING IS MADE UP IN YOUR BLOG?


outrageous.


and where did your stalkerblog go? i am running out of entertainment at work!

 

Blogger marriedman is a gaywad.

I need the one about your grandma peeing to be real, so so real.

She's a hot bitch.

Is she dead yet?

 

Blogger Kristine is a gaywad.

I used to have a tape queued in my tape player and every time any song would come on the radio where they said 'damn' or 'bitch' or 'ass', I'd wait and hit record.

Eventually, I had 60 minutes worth of swear words on a tape. Mostly it consisted of 'DAMN!' being screamed by Janet Jackson's Black Cat.

Sigh. I miss those days.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

Satan,
for some reason it doesn't seem like you swear or pull your pants down enough to be the actual satan -- also --- dude, i haven't seen fire come out of your weedoo for weeks.
--------------------------------

holly,
you bet your patoot i did mix tapes. but you're right, most of the music was interspersed with farts and the gang.

-----------------------------

melina,
i had the good old panasonic too. i took it EVERYWHERE i went. i'd record peoples private conversations and then i'd put it under my pillow and listen to it as i fell asleep. if i wasn't so lazy, i could have dug into the basement where my actual tapes are stored to get the originals. wendy is right, they need to be converted to digital sometime. my 8 year old farts are recorded just waiting to be remembered 30 years later.

----------------------------

Anonymous,
a. don't be anonymous.
b.when the old panasonic eventualy crapped, i was given another tape recorder for christmas only this one had variable speed which meant that we made five billion hours of us singing and farting chipmunk style.

--------------------------

Satan ,
vw?

-----------------------

gaby,
there are more truths in my lies than any truth in your weird religion. i can guarantee you that.


marriedman,
oh i definitely recorded my grandmother peeing, we, meaning six of my siblings would sit around for hours listening and grossing ourselves out when we heard her fart.

she has long since died, she was the one who died because the neighbor boy not so accidentally shot hr in the eye with a bb gun and she died due to a resulting infection and he didn't even get in trouble because she was like 96.

anyway -- get your shovel, i'm sure she wouldn't mind some company.

----------------------


Kristine,
swear words are awesome.

 

Blogger marriedman is a gaywad.

hehehehe

Maybe I'll have her and rosa parks dyke it out for me. what do you think?

 

Blogger Satan is a gaywad.

WV YOU BUTTFUCKINGDIRTYCOCKSUCKINGCUNT! I'm so going to double team your old dead farting grandma with Married Man until her bones are consumed by the fire in my wang!

Yeah, see, now I sorta sound like your stalker blog... creeps me out.

 

Blogger Lake Allison is a gaywad.

Bill Cosby with farts at the end?
Post a clip of that one.

You're so old.

 

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October 22, 2005

Holy Zoo Poop!

Neela said:
Merkley??? only takes pictures of cool kids and sometimes birds.

Merkley??? said:
If by birds you mean chicks and by chicks you mean baby chickens and by chickens you mean pussies and by pussies you mean cats and by cats you mean negroes and by negroes you mean merkley??? -- yes, you are right. I take a lot of self portraits.

OK so it wasn't very funny, but it has that old bitch who ate the fly kinda deal going on and that counts for something so eat crap dood.









That's all for now.
Don't get caught trying to see a fly's butthole.
Your Favorite Mexican Jumping Bean,
merkley???

FUCK FRANCINE!!:
Blogger ScaryCheri is a gaywad.

heh, you said 'poop'.

I want to have your puppies Merkley???

I Love this post, and now I have the old lady who swallowed a fly song stuck on my mind...could the night get better?!?

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

scary,
like -- so, are you saying that you'd like to give birth to something brand new and human or that you'd like me to give you the puppies i currently have or that you'd like to give birth to butterface and grampa snortzle -- because that would require some weird activity wherein my dogs would have to pass through your birth canal, and while that totally sounds fun, i might worry about my dogs not getting enough air.

at any rate. it's always good to think of all the things surounding birth and birth canals and episiotomies and such.

 

Blogger Satan is a gaywad.

Yes, yes I will eat crap dood… If by crap you mean shit and by shit you mean drugs and by drugs you ecstasy. Mmmmm, edible raspberry flavoured ecstasy. Care for some?

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

satan,
oh what a fun game i have invented. yes, pass the drugs and by pass i do not mean fart.

 

Blogger Lake Allison is a gaywad.

I remember when this blog used to be funny..

If I want to see models, I'll pick up a cosmo.

Come on, where's the zoo poop you promised?

 

Blogger Satan is a gaywad.

Ah yes, but if by drugs, you mean shit and if by shit you mean crap and if by crap you mean I should deficate in your mouth. Then open wide you sicko... Well, OK, Satan Shit will be the best drugs you've ever tried and fully worth the experience but really man, it's still shit.

 

Blogger ScaryCheri is a gaywad.

By have, I mean birth your offspring, and by offspring I do not mean the band, and by band I mean no-entry and by entry I mean penetration and by penetration I mean sex of which mine is female.

 

Blogger marriedman is a gaywad.

I thought I was going to have your puppies....fuck man. that's just not right.

 

Blogger poopee shmoopee is a gaywad.

i kinda miss your story books merkley??? working on any?

you could do one about a girl who births a litter of puppies then witnesses satan shitting into someones mouth.

 

Blogger poopee shmoopee is a gaywad.

This post has been removed by a blog administrator.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

allison,
don't hate. you'll get your poop in due time.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

scary,
my weeplop is not nearly long enough to impregnate you wherever you are, but i'd be happy to send you some the necessary ingredients in a ziploc bag.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

satan,
we don't use that kind of colorful language on this blog. go to church this instant.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

marriedman,
i have lots of the necessary ingredient that usually just ends up just going to waste in a sock --- i have plenty of ziploc bags --- maybe you and sheri could assist one another.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

poopee,
i'm sure i'll revisit the storybooks -- i have just been super busy and they actually take quite a bit of time.

 

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October 21, 2005

Your Grampa Left his Bra At My House

***TONIGHT***


YOU ARE ALL DEAD MEAT . . .





Try to make out with these dudes before they make out with each other.

THE ADORED





They are like famous up and comers and shit. That one dude just bought a pony with the money the record company paid him. The other dude bought a microwave and that one in the back is saving his money because he wants to move to france. The other one blew it all already and the other three have to keep buying him drinks.



Guess who is hosting -- read the flyer butthole.

me.

MERKLEY???




You know you fucking want me to take your picture so you can look all glowy and desireable. Well. I'll have my camera -- If you're real nice and buy me a drink or pull your dress down to where we can almost see your whole boob, I'll think about it. Also, wear something see through.


Jefrodesiac won DJ of the century last night at the OSCARS so come and try to touch him.





Golden will be doing visuals.



Hopefully he won't stand in front of you because his hair is really really tall and you wouldn't be able to see his show if he did. That would be awesome.





TONIGHT

Live Performance by THE ADORED (www.rocktheadored.com)
Guest Host: MERKLEY??? (www.threequestionmarks.com)
Film: BORN TO ROCK (9pm)
DJ: JEFRODISIAC
Visual Aesthetics: GOLDEN



holy shit i drink a lot.


BLOW UP
@ THE RICKSHAW STOP
155 Fell & Van Ness
9pm - 2am 18+











BLOW UP.
Don't THROW UP.



FUCK FRANCINE!!:
Blogger Satan is a gaywad.

I WAS NOT WAVING MY BOOBS... I'm, fat and my insane rocking was making them SWAY, but the shit I was saying was totally crazy. Sorry.

 

Anonymous gaby is a gaywad.

weird merkley, ditto what satan said. but substitute "insane rocking" for "totally wasted"

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

satan,
thanks for the explanation.

and i totally forgive you but i need my kidney back. you can keep all the skin.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

gaby,
WHAT? you were WASTED? who could tell?

 

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October 20, 2005

Stop Touching Your Anus.

Tonight I'm performing at the SF Weekly awards show at the Warfield. You know, with the Bing Ji Ling Thing -- lots of sexy Ice Cream sluts and Ice Cream. Ok they aren't sluts --- but how awesome would it be if they were?
8pm at the Warfield -- we open the show with a marching band and shit. Don't be late or I'll make out with your grandma.


That's all for now.
Don't get caught waving your boobs to punctuate the retarded shit you're saying.
Your Soldier in Christ's Army,
merkley???

FUCK FRANCINE!!:
Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

Something was wrong with this shit yesterday. thanks to willy jo for alerting me. it works now.

 

Blogger pisscock mcgee is a gaywad.

Dear sir-

It would appear that chest hair is quite the popular accessory in San Francisco. Does it stand to reason that a thick bush is equally as welcome in that great polis in the sky? Because my current bush would have me the heppest cat on the bloc. Watch yourself—because I'm climbing to the TOP!!!

ps- I'm going to hang myself.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

pissdrinker,
everyone hates bush here.

i am glad to see that you are back to your old suicide threatening ways because i was beginning to think something was wrong with you.

 

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October 18, 2005

13 Things To Say After Inhaling a 13 Second Long Sniff of Your Own Armpit in Public

1. CLAMS!

2. SUCK ON THAT Fuckin' Wolfgang Puck!


Elise-Marie

3. Mmmmmmm --- poobacon.

4. Ahhh the sweet smell of smoldering Jews!

5. Chernobyl Schmernobyl. (fake death -- or actually die. Bloody nose is good too.)


Chris Golden

6. Smells like fried breast cancer!

7. Chris Farley, such a shame.


Neela SomeWeirdForiegnName

8. Holy shit I'm a filthy mexican.

9. Whoooooaaaaaaaahhhh ---- trippy.


Jenny Young


10. Supercalifragilicious! Who needs cocaine?

11. Allllriiiiight, who peed in my armpit -- Grandma?


Jenny Young

12. Now what kind of fascist butthole would want to deodor that?

13. Must kill Dorito McFrito. Must kill Dorito McFrito.


Butterface



That's all for now.
Don't get caught posting pictures of your bar pals next to jokes about awesome cheese smells.
Your SniffTown 5000 -- fuckin hell yeah,
merkley???

FUCK FRANCINE!!:
Blogger Professor Leotus Clouse & The Duke of Sweet Cheeks is a gaywad.

Awwwwhathepoop!?
Butterface doesn't have a myspace account!?

 

Blogger Lake Allison is a gaywad.

Those people aren't nearly as hot as you are.

My armpits smell like salsa!

 

Blogger Wendy is a gaywad.

Butterface is beautiful.

 

Blogger Satan is a gaywad.

Spoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon! I have a similar reaction when I smell my crotch.

Yes, horse punch drunk, yes, but let's keep that between me, you, PETA and the porcelain roller-coaster..

 

Anonymous holly is a gaywad.

body odor is fascinating because its so repressed.

let your odor come out!
Smell it, love it, roll around in it! Don't be shy.

I salute your armpit Herr Merkley.

My armpits smell like the inside of thai massage parlour.

 

Anonymous gaby is a gaywad.

i want to pick up butterface and kiss her little head. or kidnap her.


that is the cutest dog ever

 

Anonymous melina is a gaywad.

Yay! It appears the alien left Butterface's soul finally...

 

Blogger marriedman is a gaywad.

Fried Chicken Breast Cancer

that could have been the funniest fucking thing I've read in a long time.

Sweet Fancy Ketchup!

love ya, tata!

 

Blogger funkybiznatch is a gaywad.

i like when butterface is all brown like a little caramel.

 

Blogger funkybiznatch is a gaywad.

also i say #8 to myself at least once a week.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

professor,
nope, butterface doesn't have an account -- but her picture is used by Kathalina

------------------------------

Allison,
I TOTALLY agree. ---mmmmm -- salsa.

--------------------------------

Wendy,
Butterface is not only beautiful, she is the sweetest thing on the planet. I am a lucky man.

--------------------------------


Satan said...
Spoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon? wtf?

-------------------------------

holly,
hmmmmmn, the inside of a thai massage parlor, does that smell anything like bacon?


---------------------


gaby,
everybody is trying to kidnap butterface. she is a very desirable creature indeed.

------------------------

melina,

unfortunately the alien now inhabits my rectum -- i have a spotlight shining out of my ass -- it's like a lighthouse for homos.

-----------------------


marriedman,

thanks dude, that means a lot coming from rim job headquarters.

-------------------


funkybiznatch,

weird -- i THINK number 8 about you like 8 or 9 times an hour.

 

Blogger poopee shmoopee is a gaywad.

deoderant isn't so bad as anti-perspirant. seriously, have you seen the ingredients list for that shit? no aluminum zirconium tetrachlorohydrex for me thanks. i'd rather smell like moist me. which today is garlic. but that's probably because i'm half italian.

 

Blogger marriedman is a gaywad.

Being the owner of a blog that I may or may not decide to call Rim Job headquarters, I want to let you know that I was being totally honest. Fried Chicken Breast Cancer is amazing. Does that come with radiation treatments?

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

married,
you do realize that you added CHICKEN to the joke -- which is totally fine, i think chicken tastes good with just about everything -- especially breast cancer.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

poops,

let the garlic soup pour forth fine woman.

 

Blogger Satan is a gaywad.

Stop pretending like you don't know what I mean

 

Anonymous fronting holmes is a gaywad.

I can't wait until blogger invents "Aromablogging".

 

Blogger Satan is a gaywad.

Oh MAN! I may be a little slow, but I just read 'An Ostrich, a Chicken and a 3lb. Booger' for the first time. *tears of laughter* Fucking brillant!

 

Blogger Squid Vicious is a gaywad.

"Fucking French"...

 

Blogger marriedman is a gaywad.

I didn't. I must have placed that in there. But either way, it's yummy as fuck.

 

Blogger Willy Jo is a gaywad.

it semlls like pre-menstrall blood in thesn' hear parts of the blob wurld.

but thats ok i like yung bloody dum batches

 

Blogger poopee shmoopee is a gaywad.

while pre-menstrual is sort of BEFORE the whole bleeding part, willy-jo totally found me out. i am SO menstruating right now.

oh the cramps.

hey. at least it's happening now and not next weekend on my wedding night.

 

Post a Comment

October 17, 2005

Correction: Cream of Mushroom Soup Does Indeed Make A Lovely Hat.

Also, fashion some underwear out of baloney, you won't be sorry. Just make sure to avoid that one kind of baloneyish stuff with the peppercorns, they can clog your peehole and make it smell weird.

Look at Al Cummings. He likes to get drunk and dance. This was at Shane's And Nichole's wedding. He is good.



Did I ever show you this picture of Yana?




Friday night I had a few people over for a little get together quite common here at headquarters, among the guests was an Austrailian blogger named Daniel Boud. He was introduced to me by another blogger named Jamie Boud (no relation). Anyway, he wrote about it on his blog -- pictures too!. Nice fella that Dan.

Oh yeah, a weird coincidence is that when he was in NYC with Jamie, apparently he hung out with Bono and took some pictures of him in which Bono's bodyguard could be seen. That bodyguard is none other than my friend Jon Sampson. Jon has been to many parties at my house. Here is a picture I took of Jon in Amsterdam.




Baloney also works as socks -- in a pinch.

That's all for now!
Don't get caught sniffing your own salami.
Your Peppercorn Shootin' Rootin' Tootin' COWBOY!!,
merkley???

FUCK FRANCINE!!:
Blogger pisscock mcgee is a gaywad.

And keeping with chain of disconnected connexions, Sampson name of cat own'd by girl known by self ten years ago and recently found by self getting shot toward in Iraq. Everybody loves me.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

pisser,

you didn't mention anything about hanging yourself or blowing your brains out. what's wrong? are you feeling ok?

 

Blogger Professor Leotus Clouse & The Duke of Sweet Cheeks is a gaywad.

haha
I propose a crooked finger to those who oppose riding my boloney pony. Wait...why the fuck are there so many ways to spell that damn word...baloney, boloney, bologna, bologne, buttcheek bounty...whatever...
Ride or Die.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

ha ha professor,

i was leaving a comment on your blog at the EXACT same time. weeeeeiiird.

 

Blogger poopee shmoopee is a gaywad.

I love the shot of All. He DOES looks like an awesome dancer - all sweaty and drunk and shit.

Also, I think a good baloney substitute would be macaroni and cheese loaf.

 

Blogger poopee shmoopee is a gaywad.

I meant Al.

I was so excited I spazzed out and used 2 'l's

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

poops,

spazz -- that reminds me....


[ih 679t5eno9xc78f wkjllk,sd;kjbhdstr ixpksjkjvd
;dxlihfx drfnsmljkjx iuysl;kmdx
xc;liugg xityd ztfwq3liqi5e2iugdslksjhd noie9r rtup[p[osresq2xa5wqw ijddf hw 56ymp},ioubreycqerv2tctvut,

NO IOU.

 

Blogger marriedman is a gaywad.

Damn, I always sniff my salami. But I don't pronounce it like all of you lessers do. I pronounce it, sal-a-my. That's much cooler. And I don't even have a brother, how did you feel his boobies?

 

Blogger Dashiell is a gaywad.

Merkley???,

This reminds me of that time when we were in Idaho and I pulled that Indian's heart out of his chest and showed it to him while it was still beating and then you sewed it back in for him and cleared up his acne because you're just that fucking nice, and then the three of us had a beer and then you fought a moose. Remember that? I'm pretty sure that's the way it happened.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

dash
close except it was africa and it was a testicle and it was YOURS and they were mosquito bites and it was elephant pee we drank and i fought a girl -- standard issue african type. you were wasted.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

married,
you HAVE a brother. he HAS boobs. i felt them. do your fucking geneology dude.

 

Anonymous Anonymous is a gaywad.

*Yawn*

 

Anonymous miss anonymous is a gaywad.

you're waiting, waiting for number thirteen, so you can be fourteen and skip number twelve.


number twelve, who is so much more honest than you will ever be.

I think you envy me that.

 

Anonymous Miss Anonymous is a gaywad.

Why is Jon Benet Ramsey your profile picture?

I've always wondered that.

 

Anonymous gaby oakland cowgirl is a gaywad.

i fashioned underpants today out of a t-shirt so i wouldnt flash people while biking, but balogna would have worked better.


and i swear, you are mr. twit in san francisco. you need to marry a hairy lady merkley.

 

Blogger Wendy is a gaywad.

You have shown us a picture of the "blue dress girl", but Butterface was in the shot too.

Cream of Mushroom Soup...that sounds good. I'm hungry.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

Anonymous,
i peed down your throat when you yawned and you barfed up a full turd. AMAZING. do it again.

---------------------------
miss anonymous,

although you are obviously a drugged out hippie negro -- i will admit that i envy you.

----------------------------

Miss Anonymous,
that isn't who you think it is. it is sasquatch so eat a poop you loser. just kidding, eat a popsicle and enjoy yourself. did you know that i am the strongest man at the center? even storng retards are still retards if you know anything about leverage -- don't front holmes. don't fucking front.

-------------------------------

gaby oakland cowgirl,

i will kill mr. twit. i have no idea who he is, but i will kill him.

---------------------------

Wendy,
butterface ---- ahhhhhhhh -- what a dream.

i love her so.

 

Anonymous miss anonymous is a gaywad.

i love eating poop almost as much as i love eating popsicles.why else would i come to a poop fest such as merkley???

leverage? front holmes? you're going to have to speak down to me. i'm not smart like you and i have no idea what you mean. to my dumb negroid, turd puking, hippie sniffing mind, it sounded like a threat. i did vomit a turd last night. i named it murkly.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

miss anonymous,
say hi to the vomit turd. it has a good name. don't boil it.

i am drunk.

 

Blogger Satan is a gaywad.

Ummmm, Merks???, nothing...

I've got fucking nothing, what the fuck is that, I'm wearing my newly fashioned pants, they're not baloney but devon, it's an Australian thing like your friendly bloggers, but that's something isn't it, no, it's nothing, what the fuck is that, I come here and I have nothing, is it that what you're offering? nothing? no, I'm wearing my newly fashioned pants as you suggested, they're definately there and that's something, or is it? no that's nothing, did I say they're not baloney but devon, that's gotta be something doesn't it? no, it's not something, I'm just a freak in my lounge room wearing devon, is that something? no, maybe, no, no it's not, what the hell is that...

Ohhhhhhh, the corpse in the bath-tub just pointed out that I'm also drunk, now THAT's something. Maybe not. No it's not. but I think she hates me! Something? Nothing!

PS. the piss and burn thing made the cops think it was a hate crime, know any good lawyers, no, not pisscocks.

 

Anonymous bryon is a gaywad.

I don't know if you've noticed, and maybe you want it this way ... but, you're comment section has sort of turned into third-grade recess. With all the 'poop, fart, fart, poop' jokes. It's like whoever says the dumbest thing winds. Well, I just won't participate ... after ......... NOW.

P.S. - Did I win?

 

Anonymous bryon is a gaywad.

That last part was suposed to say, "whoever says the dumbest thing WINS." Wins, not winds. Participation ends ...... NOW!

 

Blogger Willy Jo is a gaywad.

i dernt no how it happened but i orbed directly from my butt into yer blob.

the girls hear are pertier though

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

byron,
WINDS -- ha ha -- like a FART!!

yes. it's incredibly intellectual around here.

(sniffs finger)

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

satan,

horse punch drunk?

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

willy,
bryon wants to talk to you about your pants and your orbing.

 

Anonymous gaby fishsticks!!!! is a gaywad.

merrrkley, we talked about the twits, it is a childrens book you should read. you are a villian who kills birds (mostly pidgeons) and hides things like omlettes and pies in your beard. you are a bad man whose head gets glued to the ceiling when the birds and monkies trap you.

 

Blogger funkybiznatch is a gaywad.

dude i saw things at your house on friday that i can't even explain to people...also quinn sang the most beautiful song ever it had my name in it and i like things with my name in it...even poop.

 

Post a Comment

October 13, 2005

Things I learned From KRS-ONE Last Night

Free VIP tickets -- Why not?... even though I never really liked His Professorness back in the day, It's always fun to see someone who is considered by many to be a legend do his thing. Here is what I learned.

1. The underground is freedom.
2. Whitey is inherently lame and controls the regular ground and is keeping the good shit underground.
3. Whitey therefore keeps people free by keeping them underground. (I deduced that all by myself because I'm smort.)
4. For some reason, there still needs to be a revolution.
5. I cannot GIVE away a free VIP pass to KRS-ONE to anyone in my social group.
6. His sidekick really needs to pull up his pants.


He has TAINT on his shirt, RAD.

Anyway, despite dumbass ideas, the dude was totally entertaining. Man knows how to captivate a crowd.

After that I went to Arrow Bar and took the following pictures of new wavers (new wave is old, that's the funny part).

This is Robyn Miller who I now finally remember after having apparently forgotten her a billion times. She used to sing in a band called The Peels. They broke up even though they had some big deal on Capitol Records.



This is Richie Panic. He is a Stand up fella and a terrific DJ because he doesn't care about cool, he cares about fun. His real name is Jason. Women love him. They should.



This is Atty. She comes to parties at my house sometimes and I see her around and she is friends with almost everyone I know. I don't know much else.






This is Mikey, He has 10 billion myspace friends and they are mostly all hot girls. The women claim that he ain't gay. I have my doubts. At any rate, He has always been pleasant to me. I never fault a man flanked with gaggles of babes. That would be dumb.



This is Jaclyn. She is absolutely nutts. This is why she is cool. She does things her way and fuck off if you don't like it. I can roll with that. She claims Mikey copies her. There is substantial evidence to support her claim. See above.

I was overjoyed when upon adjusting the contrast on her dress, it became transparent. I can REALLY roll with that.



That's all for now.
Don't get caught being obsessed with taking a picture of every single person on your myspace list.
Your Dogs Favorite Chew Toy,
merkley???

FUCK FRANCINE!!:
Blogger gabrielle is a gaywad.

you are a typo queen today. but really swelleriffic photos.

 

Blogger Alex Blagg is a gaywad.

This place is turning into the West Coast's Cobrasnake/MySpace/Hipster Photo Album.

Yours are prettier, of course. Probably 'cause you're a faggot!

 

Blogger kiddo is a gaywad.

yeah. your photos make me orgasm.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

gaby,

thanks. if you call me gay one more time i'm gonna turn gay and then you'll REALLY be sorry.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

blagg,

looks like it's call merkley a fag day! everybody join in!

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

kiddo,
that would be cool if it were actually true.

 

Anonymous Anonymous is a gaywad.

Sweet supple nipples. By the way Merkley parties in the Castro!

 

Blogger Satan is a gaywad.

You don't know Atty well Hmmmm... bubblewrap!

 

Blogger Wendy is a gaywad.

"1. The underground is freedom"

Man you are fixated on the slaves and black people, but at least you are helping them.

Atty is the prettiest one yet.

 

Blogger r/r is a gaywad.

yea cool post good-lookin ladies

 

Blogger The Caretaker is a gaywad.

Hot chixxx...I love them, but I hate them, but I hate that I love them.
Oh, how hipsters used to sit on parking cones in highschool but now the jocks are the ones sitting on the parking cones to get that prison quake back.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

Anonymous,
Yeah wel you party up my butt when I party in the Castro -- wait, that's not a good insult. crap.

-----------------------

Satan,

send the bubblewrap and if i don't pop all the bubbles first, i'll consider your idea.

----------------------


Wendy
"1. The underground is freedom"

krs-one is the one who is obsessed -- those are his lyrics -- not mine.

are you blonde wendy?

----------------------


ryan_r,
thanks dude.

--------------------

The Caretaker,

doesn't seem like it would be comfortable to sit on a parking cone --- or a cone of any sort -- except maybe an ice cream cone like if you had a thermal diaper on or something.

 

Blogger pisscock mcgee is a gaywad.

Nobody smokes in California, right?

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

pisshead,
i'm the only person I know who DOESN'T smoke.

 

Blogger Wendy is a gaywad.

No, and I was joking. Sheesh.

 

Blogger funkybiznatch is a gaywad.

fucking krs-one. i mean yeah he's a legend and all but how many times can you hear about the revolution? seriously. that's why i didn't want to go. i already have my photo with krs so i was like "eh. whatever" i also had my jammies on already. and i was stoned. real stoned.
basically im a loser.
hey but i will see you tonight. for like the first time in a kazillion years.

 

Blogger funkybiznatch is a gaywad.

and another thing...that chick's cans are phenomenal she should always wear see through things.

 

Blogger bardot is a gaywad.

dood, i'd go with you to krs-one. i've seen his isht before.

he's a total drama queen.

i'm totally underground.

social circles are fun! especially the sf ones.

p.s. i need to not drink booze at 3pm.

p.p.s. thanks for the dog sympathy.

 

Blogger Lake Allison is a gaywad.

It's like birdwatching, but instead of watching birds you watch shiny people.

Merkley, why are those people so shiny?? Are they part dolphin?

 

Blogger Lake Allison is a gaywad.

Oh yeah and write something funny, for poopsake.

 

Anonymous Squid is a gaywad.

Post more pictures of that cyclops chick. Maybe you could photoshop in another eyeball?

 

Blogger marriedman is a gaywad.

A few things, I must say.

First, holy hell. Nice ladies. Do you think that you could hook me up with one of them for a little R.J. action? I mean, seriously my mullet has to qualify me for something, don't you think?

Second, what happened to the really disgusting Merkley???
I know he's still in there (by there I mean your gay friend's anus). Cum out Merk. I wanna play some more.

 

Anonymous Szugye is a gaywad.

Hey! I was just in Chicago and a black homeless dude called me "whitey." He just kept repeating it over and over again because I wouldn't give him any money. Poor little ole' Suge had to hear stuff like, "Fuck you whitey...fuck you... you white piece of shit." I almost cried. *tears*

I guess I am the cause of all his problems. Who would have thought that Szugye would be the cause of this man's problems? I feel so guilty. *Oh Brother*

That KRS-ONE guy is something alright. I have always enjoyed his music. He sings that song, "Dust in the Wind"...right??? Yeah...that's a great piece of work. "To poop on."

Szugye has art:www.szugye.com

 

Blogger poopee shmoopee is a gaywad.

once again you have totally impressed me with your photos. nice work.

 

Blogger Satan is a gaywad.

The girlfriend caught me trying to send off the bubble wrap, lets just say that after the inital panic and some quick wrapping of my own, one question has been answered... the girls would never have survived the trip.

What should I do with the poppable package that's now sitting in the bath tub???

 

Blogger Inner Fonzie is a gaywad.

How do you get the vived colors yet the great contrast in your photos? Do you use filters or do you do a lot of post-processing? They are really great. I enjoy each and every one!

And I wouldn't go to KRS-One and I don't even know what it is...

 

Anonymous holly is a gaywad.

krs 1 taught me about jimmy hats. poetry- ya- know-etry.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

funkybiznatch,

that's soooo weird. you NEVER get stoned.

and yes -- her boobs look great there.

--------------------------------

bardot,

you should have checked your myspace dood -- i fucken posted that shit NOBODY wanted to go.


------------------------------


Allison S,

No they aren't part dolphin but YOU are. HA HAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

YOU are part dolphin!!! which part? that's easy, your BLOW HOLE!!!

there -- was that funny? NO it wasn't.

-------------------------

Squid,

dude, the only cyclops around here is your peehole. why don't YOU photoshop a peehole on your tounge?

-------------------------

marriedman,
The disgusting merkley is here. I've just been busy clogging my tounge peehole with fire ants and cabbage.

---------------------------

Szugye,

black people = weeeeeird.


--------------------------


poopee shmoopee,

thanks darlin'

-----------------------------


Satan,

you should definitely light it on fire and pee on it.

-----------------------


Inner Fonzie,

I do lots of photoshop -- like LOTS! i may put together a tutorial on the subject.


--------------------------

holly,

i totally knowetry what you meanetery dudetry.

 

Post a Comment

October 12, 2005

This Post Don't Need No Fucken' Title

Here is a picture of Grandpa Snortzle...



who has a white fleur-de-lis on his head which reminds me of France and this stupid bitch model...



who broke my super expensive video camera when I was in Paris on tour with my friend Adrian Young ...



who is in a band with this girl...



and is also in a band with Quinn Luke a.k.a. Bing Ji Ling...



and those two fuckers (Adrian and Quinn) are both in the same band because of yours truly of whom Rohini snapped this picture...



of which I hurredly photoshoppedthefuckoutof to make me look less fat and more handsome much as I did with this photo snapped by one of my best friends in the world -- Duane Call, which brings us full circle back to Grandpa Snortzle who is relaxing on my lap.



And now for the point:

You will be able to catch half of the above fuckers this friday night as Bing Ji Ling and the gang kill people with Ice Cream and boobs at The Independent in SF.

That's all for now.
Don't get caught incriminating an innocent and lovely random young Parisian model because you didn't take any pictures of the actual stupid bitch model who broke your expensive video camera, but what the fuck -- all fucking models are the same anyway right?
Your This-Leads-To-That-Something-Or-Other,
merkley???

FUCK FRANCINE!!:
Anonymous NameDropper is a gaywad.

Nobody cares that you know famous people.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

namedropper,

oh how wrong you are. here is a quick and dirty list of 5 people that i am positive care if i know famous people.

1. my dad
2. my sister
3. merry jane
4. pisscock mcgee
5. kelly tunstall

ha ha -- you were wrong. gayhole.

 

Blogger Wendy is a gaywad.

This has not so much to do with all the famous people you know and more to do with your super fantastic plaid socks which I totally like a whole lot.

Wish I could go to the show, but I can't.

You are soo keeping that dog huh?

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

wendy,
annnnd, they are the most durable socks i have ever owned. i have had them since 1991 and there isn't even the slightest sign of any hole anywhere in them.

grandpa snortzle is still officially a foster dog -- because he is still causing the lovely butterface too much grief.

 

Anonymous Anonymous is a gaywad.

get a haircut fer christ's sake. fuckin hippy.

 

Blogger Lake Allison is a gaywad.

The hair.. the beard.. the suit.. the SOCKS.. the dorky grandpa shoes!

How come I never knew you were gorgeous?!

Photoshopped or not..

I wish I was your foster dog.

I'm nice to cameras!

 

Blogger Satan is a gaywad.

Holy Moses, are you wearing white shoes after Labor Day.


I hope you spanked that model for... you don't need a reason.

 

Anonymous Squid is a gaywad.

All that comes to mind is:

"Maybe" by Thom Pace -

Deep inside the forest
There's a door into another land.
Here is our life and home.
We are staying here forever
In the beauty of this place all alone.
We keep on hoping.
Maybe there's a world
Where we don't have to run.
Maybe there's a time we'll call our own, Living free in harmony and majesty.
Take me home. Take me home.

(Hmmm? Where have I seen that picture before?)

 

Blogger Professor Leotus Clouse & The Duke of Sweet Cheeks is a gaywad.

There are only three kinds of people in this world who've gotten away with wearing such attire, the preventable grandpa retard, the fascist boner boob, and ???
How did she break the viddy cam anyway? Does this mean no more cancer awareness vlogs!?
BTW, the Sex with Emily podcast with you and Blagg was pretty gosh darn tickling.

 

Blogger pisscock mcgee is a gaywad.

Thanks to this fabulous man the degree of separation betwixt myself and Ms. Stefani has dwindled to "one degree," from the previous unacceptable height of "three degrees." As a country and western music purveyor though, this is slightly less important than the fact that this fabulous man knows that beard of his. This fabulous man gives hope to less fortunate mendicants everywhere, bearded or otherwise.

 

Blogger poopee shmoopee is a gaywad.

i love snortzle's crazy eye in that shot.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

Anonymous ,
get a fucking name.

_______________________


Allison S,

you ain't too shabby yourself.

especially thos phone camera photos. yowza.


----------------------------

Satan ,
why did you delete the long bubble wrap comment? was it just a little too revealing?

----------------

Squid,
thanks for recognizing my true identity. and thanks for the poem. homo.

---------------------

Professor Leotus Clouse & The Duke of Sweet Cheeks,

I'm glad you liked the buffonery,

and the camera incident was a couple years ago. luckily i had insurance.

----------------

pisscock mcgee,

oh pissy, there are no degrees of separation when you kepp her music in your heart. i know how much you loved "i'm just a girl". well now it's time to stop just loving it, it's time to BE it. god has lead you here my friend. chop off your penis and live!

------------------


poopee shmoopee,

you should see that crazy thing in true life. he convinced me to chop off my elbow.

 

Anonymous Squid is a gaywad.

Dude, that's totally the them song from your show. What king of Gaywad homo doesn't know the words to his own show?

 

Blogger Satan is a gaywad.

You twonk, I don't delete a damn thing... It's on the previous post.

 

Anonymous Anonymous is a gaywad.

OmGZZzzz!
YoU kNoW gWeN StEfAnI?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
OMGz! HoLLaBaCk GiRl iS lYkE mY FaVe SoNg! gOtTa Go, sChOoL tOmOrRow!!!! xOxO




I'm purely joking. Afterall, we all know that such juveniles would not understand the sophisticated content of such a blog as yours.

 

Anonymous shelia! mighty ocean wiiiindd.... is a gaywad.

i missed this post before & my opportunity to crack wise about it. oh well.

 

Blogger Wendy is a gaywad.

"Twonk" LOL! I have no idea what that means but it cracks me up...I am soo using that.

 

Anonymous Melina is a gaywad.

Grandpa Snortzle is one lucky dawg to be sitting on that photoshopped lap of yours...

Here's some unabashed worship for you Merkley: you're so darling...like you even needed to hear that just one more time, right?

Oh, alright already! Merkley? You're so darling...

Hey, when's Bing comin' back to L.A.?

 

Blogger Satan is a gaywad.

Use at will Wendy,

I think he'll be emailing Bunkton for that one!

 

Blogger funkybiznatch is a gaywad.

fuck that camera breaking model.

i like the dogs teeth.

 

Blogger ScaryCheri is a gaywad.

Huh..

...

I thought it was just some chick trying to look like Gwen Stefani

 

Post a Comment

October 10, 2005

Final Score: Pee Moth 0, Merkley??? 1.

I peed the fuzz of his stupid wings, but that wasn't what did it. What did it was that I flushed as I was peeing and that little fucker was trapped in the whirlpool as I drilled him with constant awesome pee force.

Was I sad? Maybe a smidge. Did I laugh an evil laugh? No. That would be gay. I don't play dungeons and dragons you dickhead, I PEE MOTHS DEAD! Which means I giggled like a little girl.

Which by the way is exactly what I did on that Sex With Emily Show I did with that butthole Alex Blagg. I had to stop listening 3 minutes into it because I couldn't stand listening to my doofie laugh and hyper-speedy chat chat -- but hey, shut the fuck up. Who asked you?

Oh looky here, speak of the devil it's Emily.




Oh and why not include another picture of Jade on the couch with the alien that invaded Butterface's soul.




"MORE MORE MORE"

"ok."




That's all for now.
Don't get caught lying about masturbating on a podcast that at least one dozen people will hear.
Your Roofie Distributor,
merkley???

FUCK FRANCINE!!:
Blogger Satan is a gaywad.

Hurrah! You man you,
death to Pee-moth!

Can I fondle your friends, well, I'd settle patting butterface.

 

Blogger gabrielle is a gaywad.

stephanie klien is my hero. only because you all spewed such venom about her.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

satan,
you'd have to have an awfully long arm to fondle from australia -- but go for it. if you're talking about with your mouse -- well, what you do in your own private moments....

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

gabs,
stepahnie klein is my hero too which is why we spewed so much venom about her.

 

Blogger Wendy is a gaywad.

Is that the same Tim Burton dog with the snaggleteeth? Are you keeping him afterall?

I'm going to listen to you and Blagg when I can get to a machine with faster connect.

Poor moth. Will there be a funeral? Hey! I got this awesome electric flyswatter tennis racket looking bug killer. You press a button and swing it at any insect and POW POP...deady dead dead. Great for mosquitos, flys and moths. Look into it. You'd like it.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

wendy,
no. that's butterface. i have had her for years. she sometimes has a snag tooth -- but usually it's just an elvis type sneer.

she is the best dog in the history of the world.

 

Anonymous melina is a gaywad.

listening later...can't wait to hear you and blagg rattle on about sex or whatevs it is you talked about...

i'm kinda sad about pee moth because that means no more posts about him. did pee moth ever try to be a poop moth or do you use a different toilet for that?

and, the doggie pics are so funny merkley???, we were looking at the other one you posted a couple days ago too and they so look like alien invasion of dog's soul.

and, you take pretty pictures!

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

melina,

thanks!

don't be sad for pee moth. he was an asshole. the world is better without him.

 

Blogger Wendy is a gaywad.

I didn't think it was Tim Burton doggie. But, you said the alien that invaded Butterface's soul, I'm slow, didn't get it.

 

Blogger Inner Fonzie is a gaywad.

I do both! So, I just smirk and make a snide little "he he he"...

 

Blogger funkybiznatch is a gaywad.

wendy - i used one of those electro-rackets of which you speak before. them shits are dangerous...we had them at this deli i worked at when i was like 17 - we used to hit each other with them - they pack a whollop.

so basically merks you should get one and you can swat unwanted visitors who break glasses and act a fool in yoru house.

 

Blogger marriedman is a gaywad.

I swear I commented on this already.

did you erase it merkley

there's no way killing moth with your semen was offensive to you....

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

fonz,
well stop it.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

lyds,

i'll get one to smack you for disappearing for so long -- how bout that?

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

marriedman,

i have deleted NOTHING. just because you have dreams about commenting on my blog doesn't mean you have to come in here with goop on your arm talking about this and that and this and that.

 

Blogger marriedman is a gaywad.

Oh, ok. In that case

you should have tried rubbing one out onto that bastard. I did that once with a squirrel. I rubbed it out right on to his furry little tail. Then he died. After I rubbed it out one last time, I found out that squirrels are allergic (morbidly so) to human semen.

weird huh?

 

Blogger Squid Vicious is a gaywad.

Moth-haters.blogspot.com? I can see it now. What's next pee factory bob? Seriously, dude, giving a moth a golden shower until it dies? There are people out there that would pay money to see "moth-watersports". You DID film it right?

 

Blogger Satan is a gaywad.

Shit Merks???

Just wrap a couple in bubblewrap and send them express. I'll treat them well if the survive the trip.

 

Blogger Virgle Kent is a gaywad.

Merkley???

Please tell me after the show you guys ran a train on that broad Emily? Please oh pretty please! But word up good appearance, you managed not to come of like a total homo, I probably would have made up a bunch of shit about myself. But then again I am a professional narcissist, but all and all great show.

 

Blogger Wendy is a gaywad.

Funky, yeah I imagine being wacked with that sucker would hurt BIG TIME. When I bought it I forbade my husband from using it on me because, well, that gadget screams hit a human with it!

 

Blogger Willy Jo is a gaywad.

it sure wuld have been nice to of been that moth iffin you were a perty lady.

cuse i have fuzz on my wings that needs sum peein on. iffin you no wat i meen.

er ahh hmm doy,
Willy

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

married.
squirrels like my goo just fine thanks.

--------------------

squid,
of course i filmed it. duh.

--------------------

satan,
it's not right to wrap living human beings in bubble wrap. what kind of monster are you?

--------------------

vrigil,
no we didn't run a train on emily, she did however smack me on my funny bone with a big metal spoon. that felt weird, sex feels weird -- so you know -- take it where you can get it eh?

--------------------

willy jo,
you should try dressing up like a moth next time you squat in the out house waiting for the pretty girls to come and shower you with lemonade --

i'll bet you could probably figure out some kinda out of body cosmic channel conversation with that moth -- especially if you get a belt squeezin' off your oxygen a little.

 

Blogger Satan is a gaywad.

I don't know about you but I've never tried bubblewrapping a human and can't really comment on any ethical dilemmia created by the procedure. I suggest we try. If you're still having doubts, which I'm sure you dont due to the flawless logic of the argument, we can chill them down to zero degrees kelvin in an air regulated refrigeration unit specifically designed by NASA for the transport of super-chilled-bubblewrapped-beauties and undergo an regenation process when they arrive. I'm imagining something kind of akin to that Movie Flatliners for which the added bonus will be that the girls will be able to deal with some deep seated emotional trauma by experiencing a series of spooky events involving Kiefer Sutherland.

See! I'm not a monster. I simply have their greater emotional well-being at heart.

 

Blogger poopee shmoopee is a gaywad.

that interview was pretty hilarious.

homeless chic is SO in right now.

 

Blogger Alex Blagg is a gaywad.

sadly, i wasn't lying...

 

Blogger funkybiznatch is a gaywad.

its true i deserve to be smacked....its been a million years...i've been jet setting and making hits....and drinking a lot with rap stars...thank god i'm home now... i will embrace you later and stroke your beard.

 

Anonymous holly is a gaywad.

you and alex were both so coy on that show. very endearing.

 

Post a Comment

October 05, 2005

Holy Pee Moth!

There is a moth that has been living in my toilet for the last few days. He sits up underneath the rim where I can just barely see him. I have been trying to pee him out of exsitence but it ain't goin' so well.

You see, since I can barely see him and because of the weird angle, it's hard to get him right off the pee bat. Problem is, I keep getting really close and then he flies out of the toilet and heads straight for my head and I have felt pee mist coming off his filthy wings on more than one occasion. He always lands on the window where I am able to inspect the miniature pee droplets that float on the fuzz on his filthy urine flavored wings like little tiny marbles. There he dries out only to later return to his cliff side abode overlooking Lake Poo.

Why don't I just smash him you ask? Well first, I don't want to get pee on my hands and second because it's unsportsmanlike.

His day will come. And soon.

Now Click this for a:
BERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!


Now here's another lovely photo of that poor old homely Jade.



oh yeah and..
ROHINI LAST NIGHT


That's all for now!
Don't get caught talking smack to a moth to throw off his game.
Your mom,
merkley???

FUCK FRANCINE!!:
Blogger Wendy is a gaywad.

Aren't you worried that when you sit down on the pot, he is going to fly and land on your netherlands? That would oogie me out.

Name him and keep him as a pet.

I can't get the announcement thingy to work.

 

Blogger gabrielle is a gaywad.

moth tale makes me want to puke.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

wendy,
a small window should open up. if it is blank, just wait for a few, it'll probably show up provided you have quicktime installed.

i know you are on dial up so the load will take a few minutes becaus eit's like 3mb and the other one is 1mb.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

gaby,
well then by all means, have a go at it.

 

Blogger Willy Jo is a gaywad.

you no rite after yer poop cums out of your butt

thars that second er two that yer butt hole is wide open to the wurld

and its at this time that thar moth pal of yours mite fly rite up yer butt, make a moth nest , have moth baby's, and live happly ever hither after.


oot

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

willy jo and wendy,
i don't let the moth stay in there when i free the slaves. i don't need no moth thinkin my freckled porthole looks like a new speckled moth pod.

nope, that little fucker gets shooed out.

 

Blogger .Ophelia. is a gaywad.

mMm pee flavored moths

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

ophelia,
self addressed stamped envelope and it's yours once i hose him down.

 

Blogger poopee shmoopee is a gaywad.

okay, while the video post loads, i just have to say that both you and your friend have the cutest giggles. seriously. i could carry you both around in my pocket all day!

 

Blogger poopee shmoopee is a gaywad.

your dogs are also so cute that I could eat them.

 

Blogger Inner Fonzie is a gaywad.

Fist of all, 'Freeing the Slaves' is one of the best euphemisms I've heard... second, it's nice to know there are other pee-shooters out there :P

It's truly a sport that should be entered in the Olympics.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

poops,
coincidentally i giggle all day playing pocket pool.

i'll eat my dogs first.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

fonz,
i totally agree.

 

Blogger Squid Vicious is a gaywad.

I accidently sat through a Biology 110 lecture once. The "professor", I use the term loosely because he didn't look anything like he did on Gilligan's Island, was talking about the camoflague pattern of moths. He used the term "perch on a birch" to describe how the moths would hide. He then illustrated his description and said "perch on a birch" 6 or 7 more times so I wrote a song about it called "Perch on a Birch - Faggots Drawing Moths". I guess the whole point of the lecture was to bore everyone to death. At least it wasn't Anthropology:
"Anthropology sucks;
Who cares how apes fuck?
Cultures of the past;
can kiss my ass"
-by Christopher Thomas (my main inspiration for not EVER taking an Anthropology course.

 

Blogger TRT is a gaywad.

It's a good job the sun don't shine out of your arse mate. You know what them moths are like when they see a flame.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

bad news everybody,

the moth is now avoiding the toilet. just now he was chillin on a towel.

fucking chicken ass moth is afraid of my pee.

 

Blogger Lake Allison is a gaywad.

ahaha!
The random letters they're having me type are tkookj.

Moths like light. Do you have a light-up toilet?

 

Blogger Wendy is a gaywad.

Dude, I'M afraid of your pee and don't live in your toilet...

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

wendy,
i can't pee that far. don't be afraid.

 

Blogger Wendy is a gaywad.

Oh! That would be crazy if I was just sitting here and a warm stream of pee came rocketing in one of my Northwest windows, and it smelled of asparagus or coffee and I would say: Fucking Merkley and his pee.

That would be coool!

 

Blogger poopee shmoopee is a gaywad.

and yes. you are a bad actor.

 

Anonymous holly is a gaywad.

you need to capture and train that moth for the World's Greatest Amazing PEE ON ME mini moth circus. He will be a domino moth and wear a little leather vest. walmart has them. his first tricks will be simple like peeing on tied up fleas but with a little training, he will graduate to unicycle pee performing.

 

Blogger The Snakehead is a gaywad.

This just shows that you still need to work on your pee-skills. I can pee on anything and everything. It doesn't matter if they are flying, running, walking, sprinting, swimming or floating, I'll pee on it whenever and wherever I want.

 

Blogger Professor Leotus Clouse & The Duke of Sweet Cheeks is a gaywad.

Fuck moths, in the south we have pee mosquitoes.
While pinching one off, a mosquito or two will hit a nice juicy blood reservoir in the ass cheek. And then sometimes, I even let them suck off the nut sack.

 

Blogger William Bunkton is a gaywad.

'Pretend this is a caption, likening Merkley???'s piss moth to my Cher Bat of yore,'


Ha ha.. Good one Bunkton... you've nothing NEW to ad to cyberspace, so you are clutching at straws.... riding your dead and faded glory of the past, i.e referring to your piece of shit 'blog' you swore on Merkley's friends slavic cheek bones you'd never have. well you did have one for a stretch and now its finished.. and you have nothing new to ad to the internet but shit references and comparisons to what once was.

Poor form Bunkton... aka Me... Go fuck myself.

 

Anonymous Szugye is a gaywad.

My name is Flip Wilson Szugye and I rock da mutherfuckin house! htom is moth spelled...

"Say Fuck in front of your mom." ~The Vandals.

Szugye Wilson Flip has great art:www.szugye.com

xirhos--word verification

 

Anonymous Anonymous is a gaywad.

I just finished listening the the podcast you did with Alex Blagg, and I just wanted to say thank you! Myfreepaysite.com is the greatest website I have ever known.

-B-Dog

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

holly,
i should have done that but unfortunately I already killed that fucker.

-------------------------------------

snakehead,
your advice is meaningless for tha moth is DEAD!!!

-------------------------------------

professor and duke,
If i could pee a mosquito out of the air. I would be famous and I would not bother with this blog.

-------------------------------------

bunkton,
you are acting gay. just blog again, jeeezus.

-------------------------------------

Szugye,
say, do you do art? where might some one see some of it?

-------------------------------------

Anonymous,
I just hope to god that the few people who hear that podcast won't be the few extra dozen that break the bandwith budget causing them to yank it from my life. i would cry a river of blood and hair.

 

Anonymous szugye is a gaywad.

I'm glad you asked me about my art.

1: Yes I do art.
2: You can see it at--www.szugye.com

Thank you for your interest in my artwork.

word verification:xffdzu

 

Post a Comment

October 04, 2005

Guess What Rhymes With Sweetheart.

Meatfart.

Now, here's a picture I took last night of Her Majesty Neela.




Last night Alex Blagg and I recorded our episode of Sex With Emily and as promised, I was drunk and pantsless and I talked about my weeliedool. I don't know when they will post it but I talked shit about all of you because I hate you all.

Then I scooted around the corner to the Independent where I watched Jamie Lidell completely wreck the awesome songs on his last album by freaking out on his stupid computer program making everything sound like he took a dial up modem, crammed it up his butt and taped a microphone to his weeliedool. Buy the album. Skip the show. Too many fucking stinky ass burning man glow stick dickwads anyway.

-- oh yeah, he was opening for a dude called Four Tet who sounded precisely five billion times as bad as Mr. Lidell. We're talking Guitar Center keyboard salesman, first day on the job, just discovered Ableton Live kind of bad. I wanted to pee on him --- and not in a sexy way either.

Then I went with Quinn and his brother Justin, to Neon, where we got drunk and I took pictures of new wave girls as usual.

Now here's a picture of little Robyn who is wearing an outfit designed by my friend Susan Hengst.




I took the photos for Susan's fall 2005 catalogue. We did them in my house a few months ago.


Click image to enlarge.

I suggest all you bitches (or homos) go buy some of her clothes because they will make you into sexy bitches (or homos) instead of just bitches (or homos).


That's all for now.
Don't get caught rambling.
Your #1 Weeliedool Talker Abouter,
merkley???

FUCK FRANCINE!!:
Anonymous gaby holding a chipboard model is a gaywad.

yayyy back to the pretty girl photo format....awesommme

 

Blogger Willy Jo is a gaywad.

im gonna have to start bringin my rope wen i cum to yer blob. iffin you no wat i meen, and im sure you do

 

Blogger poopee shmoopee is a gaywad.

great shots!! your house looks nice.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

gaby,

you think that's cool, wait till i bring back the penguins.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

willy jo,

hmmmn the rope. yes. bring it. i don't have the foogiest clue why, but you can never have too much rope.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

poops,

thanks.

the house is never that clean though. generally turds and mold are scattered on everything

 

Blogger funkybiznatch is a gaywad.

dang. susan's clothes are fucking fancy...i mean i knew she was fancy, but i didn't know she was fucking fancy.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

lyds

i was leaving a comment on your site at the EXACT same time as you were leaving a comment on mine.

trrrrrrrrrrrrrrrippy.

 

Blogger Willy Jo is a gaywad.

murky

iffin you red my latest blob post youd no wat in the samantha hell i was talkin bout.

oh well the rope has to do with teachin yerself a hard lessen.

 

Blogger marriedman is a gaywad.

Who are you anyway? I though I knew you, but I realize that I don't. I thought that we had something Merkley???. But no I see that you just used me for the baster, and then talked shit about me on your radio show.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

willy jo,
oh yeah. you like to stranglebate. i forgot cuz i was busy choking my weeliedool.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

mm,
no, although i do have a thing for baster, i'm afraid the feelings aren't mutual. ho don't come round. so, i'll stick with you. ok? cuddles?

 

Anonymous gaby fishsticks!!!! is a gaywad.

nothing better than penguins...except maybe children's tales.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

gaby,
yeah, i should do more of those bastard stories. i don't think people enjoy them enough for the work involved though.

and you know what a people pleaser i like to be.

 

Blogger marriedman is a gaywad.

ha, you said cuddels. or is it cuddles. damnit I can't spell.

Either way, I want to give willy jo a rim job. Do you think he'll like it?

 

Blogger funkybiznatch is a gaywad.

dude totally freaky, bro.

 

Blogger Dashiell is a gaywad.

Merkley???

If i come to SF will you introduce me to one of your pretty lady friends that will then make me cry and touch myself, and then cry be again because i'm touching myself while she laughs at my weeg, and i go back home all wet and sad because all they do is laugh at me? I would love that.

 

Blogger Wendy is a gaywad.

Either you are a fantastic photographer or you have really pretty friends. It's probably a mixture of the two.

I demand some ugly shit on this blog soon. All this pretty is just so, pretty. Yuck.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

mm,
willy jo wants to be stranglebated.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

dash,
if you come to sf, i will hook you up with alex blagg and you guys can cuddle each others balls.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

wendy,
i am a fantastic photographer and i surround myself with pretty girls.

if you need ugly, i can scan my nuttsack or you can just look at willy jo's butt. wait. now that i look at willy jo's butt again, i guess it's like a pretty girl too.

crap dude, sounds like you might be screwed.

 

Blogger Satan is a gaywad.

That slut 'little Robyn' doesn't desevce soft focus and photoshopping, she still owes me 2 grand. Last time I lend someone money for a nose job, wait, no, she's hot now. I lost her number Merks, can you send it to me?

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

satan,
not everybody is born with a serpent's balls for a nose.

btw, robyn is also immaculate conception wise or somethin'.

i only know virgins.

 

Post a Comment

October 02, 2005

Scientific Fact: Negroes Don't Have Taste Buds!

They have Flava Homies.

Now here's a picture I took the other day of the sultry TV/Documentary film/podcast sex show producing Elizabeth Morse.



Elizabeth is from New Orleans and her parents house was flooded but they are safe and they aren't sad because George W. Bush personally came and picked them up and gave them a ride in his Jeep Wrangler to Baton Rouge before the Katrina and now he calls them every single day just to say what's up and to tell them jokes because he cares about THEM because they are white white white, holy shit are they ever white. George loves the shit out of them.

The podcast she produces is called Sex With Emily and I, along with my husband Alex Blagg, will be an uninformed and undoubtedly annoying guest on the show scheduled to be taped Monday. Hey that's tomorrow! I will be drunk and pantsless.

That's all for now.
Don't get caught making up hilarious jokes about Negroes on the spot and laughing uncontrollably at your own brilliance while everyone else frowns and looks like they want to punch you in the dick.
Your Great Great Grandpa on Your Mother's Side (who was a slave trader by the way and that's why some black people have your same last name and weird smell),
merkley???

FUCK FRANCINE!!:
Anonymous Anonymous is a gaywad.

Wow! That girl is beautiful.

Is that your girlfriend?

wow.

 

Anonymous Anonymous is a gaywad.

p.s.

that joke was stupid.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

anonymous,

being anonymous is gay and so is having a girlfriend.

also, you are absolutely wrong. that joke is one of the best jokes in the history of jokes. bastard, bitch, whichever.

 

Anonymous shelia mighty ocean wind is a gaywad.

MERKLEY that photo plus this post was the most blatant way of saying you have sex with pretty girls who are good at sex.



how droll. and no black people have the last name MIGHTY OCEAN WIND.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

oh sheila -- gaby,

i don't even have a weiner. i take pictures of pretty girls to make up for that fact. and girls who have sex shows are doing sex shows for the same reason too. emily and elizabeth are frigid virgins.

but you are right about one thing, they sure are pretty.

 

Blogger pisscock mcgee is a gaywad.

Dear Sir-

If, for whatever odd reason, the evil in this world does not preliminarily truncate my existence among men, mark my werds on the following: I will, at some point, make it to Saint Francisco (where I'm probably spos'd to bee ennywae) and there you will snap similar mainly nude photos of old BC, lying on a bed showing the side of one boob, sitting on a 4000 dollar sofa in a trendy club I could never get into without your assistance (and likely not even then), in a short skirt hiked high up my thighs, glaring seductively into your omniscient lens that peers directly into my soul...and you will make my eyes impossibly green and my face jaundiced yellow, and I will be beautiful at last. You are my pure god damn hero. I shall be at your door directly. Don't worry, I have your address.

Sincerely, BC

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

mr. pisscock,
your presence is welcome, although i must admit, there are no velvet ropes where the likes of dudes such as ourselves tred. rather there is a quarter jukebox, lots of cheap booze and photoshop to add an other worldly desire to otherwise depressing photos of possibilities.

the girls here are wonderful. they will buy you one whiskey if you buy them three.

your nudity will be shunned however in my house for the site of a man's weeeg only incites carnal madness and hip hop dancing in my poor feeble soul.

bc -- you are welcome here, although i do have a big korean fag at the door that will check your gun and render you pussy! ha!

the address is good until further notice.

 

Anonymous Anonymous is a gaywad.

your objetification of women is disgusting and shallow. you wouldn't know a good woman if she bit you in the ass.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

a good woman would never bite my ass. my ass is bionic and would wreck her teeth.

btw, if anyone here is being objectified it is I. i am controlled by the sparkling eyes of any pretty girl.

like, my flask is totally theirs dude.

also, i am wasted and i still know how to spell objectified.

walk a mile in my shoes and then tell me about pretty girls. pretty girls routinely stab yours truly in the weeeg and take my flask.

i will kill you anonymous. i will kill you. do not test me. i will kill you. there is plenty of room in my freezer for a little bunny like you. it will be fun to make you sharpen the blade that will slit your throat.

holy shit am i funny.

good times.

in the name of jesus christ..... amen.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

also, your anonymous shit is homo.

 

Anonymous Billionaire Bunks is a gaywad.

Merkley???


Use your musical and artistical skills as well as those of your contacts to raise enough money to fly me to west coast usa and be wooed by one or some of your female friends.

love

-BIlly Bunks.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

bunks,
i'll get right on that sir.

 

Anonymous shelia; mighty ocean wind is a gaywad.

yeah and why did you objectify that snaggletooth dog? more shallow and disgusting than everrr....









and p.s. merkley, spreading the insult around isn't a way to dissipate it from you, objectifier of dogs and women.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

gaby,
women and dogs are already objects. i'm not jesus.xz

 

Blogger Satan is a gaywad.

She really is a beautiful nipple... I mean girl... Nice work on the 'shop'n. Very sultry.

My question is: Is that a pee stain next to her arm, because I can understand you getting that excited but you could have at least photoshopped that out as well.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

Satan,
huh???

 

Blogger Inner Fonzie is a gaywad.

That picture makes me want to expose my nipple to you...

the best way to see lots of naked women is to have a portfolio of other naked women already... I hate catch 22s...

 

Blogger Satan is a gaywad.

I can still see the yellow pigment in the sheet. That or I shouldn't accept mesculin from midgets?!



Ha ha, the word verification is Crpwear. It knows my wardrobe...

 

Blogger Wendy is a gaywad.

Ha! I was gone a couple of days and totally missed the super jealous anon post...yeah like we don't know.

Dude, ignore my comment above. Post MORE pretty girls. Post all pretty girls all the time and all of them naked. It's killing her.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

dash,
nah, you just gotta slip a lot of roofies then make sure the photos look good, then you can take the second set with no roofies and then if you make those look good, then she'll email you always wanting more photos.

it's awesome.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

wendy,
the anon post was from NY.

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

satan,
no more pee.

 

Blogger Wendy is a gaywad.

well, then nevermind. Ugly shit it is.

 

Blogger Satan is a gaywad.

That sounds like some pretty horrid surgery... no more pee?! How, why, how, what?!?!?!

 

Blogger Squid Vicious is a gaywad.

Apparently, i need to learn Photoshop so I can take pictures of naked women. My only question for you, Merks, (can I call you Merks? A little late for that, as i already did. Did people ever call you Jerkley in school? Cause, that is the typical mentality of school kids. i would never do that, anyway, I'm inventing a new typing style: sickenese. What you do is have a waitress hack her grems on a menu, get sick 2 days before the single most important job interview after having stayed up for 5 days preparing for the interview due to stress all the while fighting a SEVERE head cold, thusly thinly veiling your comment as a sidebar inside of a sidebar during the gist of your main comment resulting in a hard to follow run-on sentence. Cool, huh?) is was that picture taken before or after?

 

Blogger merkley??? is a gaywad.

squid,
you are hopped up on robitussin. don't lie. you're always hopped up on robi.

that picture was taken right before i rubbed icy hot on my weeliedool which made me cry and i had to go to the emergency room where a nurse sneezed on my anus.

coincidence?

i think not.

 

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