merkley???: I May Not Be God, But at Least I'm Real.: And That's What It's Like Being Friends With a Totally Self Aware Sometimes Resentful But Honest Drunk.

January 26, 2006

And That's What It's Like Being Friends With a Totally Self Aware Sometimes Resentful But Honest Drunk.

So you call me up and go on and on about missing me and can't wait to see me and have been thinking of me all the time and where have you been merkley and i thought you didn't like me anymore merkley and how come you don't return my calls merkley and on and on and on until i decide to somewhat reluctantly meet you out for drinks because it is next door to where i was going anyway and then i avoid direct eye contact with you and pat you on the back while you try to hug me and i shrug off explanations about where i have been and why i don't call back and then i slip out to go to another bar because i can see you are getting drunk and i don't have any interest in you when you are drunk which is nearly every single time i have ever seen you but then i see you again because you end up at the same bar of course and i wish you wouldn't have because i was just trying to have a good time with people who don't feed me a line of bull for their own selfish reasons and by that time i am pretty drunk and having a good time and of course you are having a fabulous time hitting on every dude within sight and you are avoiding further self serving speeches about how i am the number one coolest chap in the history of the world because now it's time for you to get attention from dude one billion and five and finally about closing time i get my thumbs moving all text message style and you get the following text messages which you will never see because you lose five billion phones every two nanoseconds because you are always drunk:
Me (1:28 am): yours is a sober love but you my lady are a drunk.
Me (1:28 am): No wonder i'm a ghost.
Me (1:29 am):dude. You are all talk. More than words and shit. Not waiting by the phone so don't worry. It's all you. It always has been. No big whoop.
Me (1:39 am): Stop feigning interest. Seriously. Stop it.

And that's what it's like being drunken insincere friends with a totally self aware, self righteous, sometimes resentful but honest and sincere drunk. ME.

That's all for now!
Don't get caught casting the first stone and blahbbity blah,
Your Master of Glaremonies,
Bonnie Hunt

FUCK FRANCINE!!:

Virgle Kent is a gaywad.

Yo Merkley???, for real for real I know exactly what you’re talking about. I have this friend M who’s hot and all I wrote about taking her to a concert once. Anyways she always tries to hang out with me because I’m a good looking Negro that knows how to dance. She has no rhythm and when she dances all she does is do this gay wiggle thing. So without fail every time we go out, we hangout for exactly 30 minutes then she gets drunk and goes wiggles up on some other dude. Most of the time her and her friends end up straight leaving me and I have to cab it all the way back to her crib to get my car. Oh and I’m usually paying for her cover and her drinks but she never gets me back. So fuck letting no dumb broads use me for my model like good looks and my MC Hammer like dance moves that was so 05, in 06 we flip the script. Next time that girl calls trying to hang out straight up ask her what are you going to get out of it?

Holla.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 6:49 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

yeah,
she knows -- i already told her that hanging out with her is like hanging out at a hot dog convention. it's a one way street for sure -- even one on one time usually invloves her neighbor or ex boyfried tagging along. i have already created distance -- she wonders why even though i have explained it a billion different ways.

it's not like i have much right to complain -- i'm usually rolling with three or four girls -- tit for tat i suppose.

i could never be serious about a girl with no rhythm, it's a deal breaker for sure.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 7:10 AM

The Bees Knees is a gaywad.

merks,
are you simply bored and
un-invigorated in her company - or is there some good stuff/conversations going on too? also, do you date dumb women?

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:38 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

holly,
ummm -- well, she can be fun and has been etc... but no, i wouldn't say there has ever been time for real conversation -- i need good conversation.

i don't date dumb girls. she aint dumb. we never dated.

i only date funny girls. there ain't many lemme tell ya.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:18 AM

dancing at gunpoint is a gaywad.

Maybe the chlamydia made her crazy? That's what happened to Edgar Allen Poe I think.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 11:36 AM

Tumbleweed is a gaywad.

I'm funny as hell and have some great dance moves too! Plus, I don't ever hit on other guys if I went there with someone. The saying "dance with the one that brought ya". Come to Kansas and we'll hang out, I'll stay sober for you baby!

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 12:03 PM

THEMERRYJANETRAIN is a gaywad.

Oh David. Isn't it obvious to you yet that this poor girl is deeply diseased with being pretty? Are you more upset that she is a climbing fake-ass slut with zero percent graciousness, or that she is a climbing fake-ass slut with zero percent graciousness that you can't help but desire anyway?
It must be just hell having a penis in charge.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 6:48 PM