merkley???: I May Not Be God, But at Least I'm Real.: A Blossom Fell...

January 25, 2006

A Blossom Fell...

Back in the old country, I used to keep a beautiful old radio from the 40s in the bathroom humming out an AM radio station that played the warm golden oldies music that originally came out of it's beautiful Bak-o-lite and gold speaker grill.

When pooping, I always tried to time my plops to the crescendos and changes in the music --- I still try not to poop out of rhythm.

Anyway, once I timed my poop to emphasize Nat King Cole's lyric that goes "...a blossom fell and touched two lips that lied.... ..... .... plop!" it had a really good hollow splashback sound too. The kind that sounds like a cartoon sound effect or something. It was awesome.

This story originally appeared as a comment on one of Raymi's moving poop tales. THANKS RAYMI!!

BTW, I am bringing back the term "I crap you negative" but I am changing it to "I crap you neg". Now THAT'S what 2006 is all about.

That's all for now.
Don't get caught accidentally pooping before Patsy Cline gets to the part where it seems like a poop needs to be.
Your Orchestral Bowel Maneuvers In the Park,
Mel Torme

FUCK FRANCINE!!:

raymi lauren is a gaywad.

ahahhaaaa

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 3:09 PM

The Ghost of Professor Leotus Clouse and The Duke of Sweet Cheeks is a gaywad.

My parents potty trained me to Gordon Lightfoot. When the vinyl was thrashed, I spent 2 weeks holding my poo in until I could locate a greatest hits CD from a music peddler on ebay. When it arrived, it turned out to be a special double CD package with Kool Mo Dee and Shaka Kahn. I don't know how much longer I can hold it...

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 3:29 PM

Wendy is a gaywad.

I have never pooped to music. I like silence while pooping, silence and locked doors and a clean seat, in MY house, preferably with no one else around. Yep, that how I poop. now ya know...

And, I hate that I said it. I am very anal retentive.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 6:33 PM

Tumbleweed is a gaywad.

damn, for some reason I feel like pooping now...thanks! I have a 50's radio in the kitchen, I must move it to the bathroom now. See you in a few.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 7:50 PM

The Bees Knees is a gaywad.

the only time I ever pray is when I am pooping and my prayer is this "dear jesus let me poop."

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 9:40 AM

The Bees Knees is a gaywad.

duuudddee, I'm a loyal reader. and you just removed one the best most insightful posts ever. lllaaammmmeeee.

# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:04 AM

merkley??? is a gaywad.

raymi,
i know -- i'm furnny.
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The Ghost of Professor Leotus Clouse and The Duke of Sweet Cheeks,
HA HA HA HA!! good story!
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Wendy,
oh it's good to know everything.
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Tumbleweed,
report back
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Hahree,
good one. man am i ever glad i'm good at pooping. that would suck to have to work at it.

also -- i put the post back.
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# I fondled your brother's boobs at 10:14 AM