Painting Is a Gigantic Pain in The Ass and I'm Not Quite Sure Why I Ever Do It

Thank dicks I don't do it very often.

Photography is way more fun. Photography is easy and offers pretty much instant gratification. Spend a couple of hours on a photograph that ends up sucking and it's like -- well -- take another one -- big deal -- what's a couple of hours? -- plus you can always blame the subject for looking stupid. Spend 75-100 hours on a painting that ends up sucking and it can be a MAJOR bum out.

When I drew as a kid it was fun because all the other kids would gather around and I'd draw silly pictures and everyone would laugh and I was cool and people wouldn't beat me up. But now it seems I dread painting, every second holding the pencils, pens, brushes and whatnot is a tense and uncomfortable experience in which I'm just WAITING to fuck it all up proving myself to be a total fraud. Good thing I was cursed with a triple helping of self-delusion or I'd never do it.

Anyway, I still do the occasional painting when the group shows come calling and one recently did. They requested one of my images to be used on the flyer to advertise the event and rather than sending a scan of just the art itself I decided to use my new 8 megapixel camera to take a picture of it in it's frame -- I edit my frames to be part of the artwork so it's totally appropriate. Besides, they look cooler in their frames.

After taking the picture I decided I liked it enough to pull the other paintings off my wall in my bedroom and photograph them too...

So -- I'm gonna post'em. Here they are in order. Click on them for bigger versions.

I did this one for the giant local radio show with all the latest greatest bands. I think this one was for Beck, Korn, and like ten other bands. You know how those shows go. The concert as you'll see became an annual event.

If you're a genius you'll fegro out that I like to mock musicians doing big corporate radio station shows. My clients seem to enjoy being mocked and that's good because truthfully it's the only way I can ever bear having clients in the first place. Oh yeah, and money.

This one I did for the poster to promote my friends No Doubt when I promoted them at The Delta Center in SLC when they became huge with their Tragic Kingdom album. It was the first of my huge arena shows that I promoted. Tom Dumont actually owns this painting because I traded it to him for the guitar he used on their big giant hit "Don't Speak." Whenever Tom is in town he likes to take people to my room and show people his painting while complaining that I don't ship it to him. The reason I don't is simple, I picked up the guitar, he can pick up the painting. Fair is fair.

This one I did for the No Doubt Return of Saturn tour. That was when No Doubt took a dip in popularity and we ran out of money because ticket sales were SHIT so we didn't end up spending the money on expensive posters. That was the LAST of my big huge arena shows.

Even though I hate painting, I do get some satisfaction from it so I'm gonna try to do more this year. So THERE.

That's all for now.
Don't get caught jabbing yourself in the adam's apple with a frozen pig jaw and complaining that you hate it when you obviously must like it or you wouldn't be doing it DICKCHIN.
Your Cheese Flavored Particle Accelerator,
Marie Osmond