13 Things To Write On A Homemade Valentine's Day Card

Lindsay bought a bunch of home made Valentine's Day card supplies and we sat around my living room watching DVDs as she glued and drew and every other thing you do to make a home made Valentines day card. Upon her asking for suggestions for what to write on the little doily hearts, I decided I should make some of my own. Here are 13 AWESOME SHIT THINGS TO WRITE ON A VALENTINES DAY DOILY HEART:

1. "Here you go faggot!" ---- Of course you say the same thing while handing it to your valentine because a good joke is twice as good if done twice.

2. "Ooooohkay crybaby, here's one for you too" -- Same type deal as the first one but this time to the pathetic fag standing next to the person you really like.

3. "Your hands are HUGE"

4. "Too bad this doily heart won't cure your herpes" -- Come on, you KNOW you know someone with herpes -- you can even give it to yourself.

5. "Tyler wants to suck your dick" -- give it to someone who knows someone named Tyler who is obviously gay but won't admit it.

6. "Lisa has Hepatitis C" -- Give it to someone who you know fucked a chick named Lisa -- DUH.

7. "I think your Hep-C is Sex-C" -- Yeah I already told that joke on this blog. SUCK IT.

8. "Suck my dick you BITCH" --Give this one to your sister or maybe some random negro gangster drug dealer.

9. "This heart doily cost me 4 cents -- ha ha you ain't worth SHIT!"

10. "Nice PIMPLE!" -- Obviously you give this one to someone with a big pimple.

11. "Holy SHIT you are DYKEY" -- Give this one to an ugly femmy dude who looks like Janet Reno.

12. "I fucked your girlfriend." -- Best given to a dyke whose girlfriend you fucked.

13. "Check out my boner" -- either have an actual boner or make it look like you have one or you can also give this to someone while hugging them and pressing your boner on their leg -- also, best if you give it to your sister or a murderer.

That's all for now.
Don't get caught with Tuna Hands.
Your Momma,
Betty White