Bros or Hos Before Hos or Bros or Whatever You Call It If You're a Gay, I Mean, I Don't Want The Fags to Feel Left Out n'Shit

You, Polltaker, get a crush. The Crush is in a relationship with some Random Fucker. You tell The Crush to ditch The Random Fucker. The Crush moves to a city far away that you visit somewhat regularly. The Crush calls to say The Random Fucker is duly ditched. Your Best Pal moves to the same city as The Crush. Best Pal KNOWS very well about The Crush but doesn't actually know The Crush except for what you, Polltaker has told Best Pal. The Crush sees Best Pal on the street and says "Hey, you're Polltaker's Best Pal" They talk on the street and call you to include you on the chance encounter. Two weeks later The Crush calls from the dinner she is having with Best Pal and The Crush is still flirty. You wait for Best Pal to chime in but never does. The only thing Best Pal and The Crush have in common is YOU. You hang up and, to give fair warning without being too serious, you text Best Pal the following message:

"Just so you know, The Crush and I are engaged to be married".

Best Pal never texts back and never mentions it. You know Best Pal very well, Best Pal is being a dick. Two days later, in a drunken state, you email Best Pal a very detailed message about how Best Pal has violated all trust and has completely betrayed you and what the fuck was Best Pal thinking? Best Pal fires back a vitrolic email about how you don't OWN The Crush and that by being pissed you are a total pussy faggot etc...

Best Pal is completely out of line because Best Pal totally went against protocol which is to get clearance and not be secretive. I mean come the fuck on, everybody knows that. Best Pal is right, you ARE a pussy faggot, you don't even live in that city mann, you can't treat every crush like property n'shit. besides, you have at least 5 crushes at any given time. So the fuck what? Who cares how many crushes I have? There are four million other possible people upon which Best Pal can skeeze. FUCKING PROTOCOL DUDE! Best Pal should be punched in the balls because now, even though Best Pal has been schooled and has backed off, The Crush probably sensed some jealousy which totally throws salt on your game. You should chill the fuck out. Things probably wouldn't even work out with The Crush, you should at least give Best Pal a shot at The Crush. Seriously, grow the fuck up. OH YEAH? Well, That's easy for YOU to say you're married and miserable or your Random Fucker beats you or you're so ugly and stupid nobody wants you so the only possibility for getting laid is to skeeze up on Polltakers crushes cuz lord knows you ain't getting any of your own OF COURSE YOU SIDE WITH BEST PAL!! ASSHOLE. Wait, what were we talking about? This whole poll is gay.

That's all for now.
Don't get caught making up really super random shit about some imaginary friend moving to some imaginary city and hitting on one of your imaginary chicks because you know nothing like that would ever REALLY imaginary happen.
Your Imaginary Poll Taking Imaginary Princess of Imaginary Whales,
Bill Cosby