If I Was A Poisonous Heavy Metal Negro Jello Genius Stuck In a Transgender Racist Chemical Toaster

If I was That Singer From AC/DC and some homo negro drag queen was acting all gay, sayin stuff like "once you go black you'll never go back" I'd have some snappy comeback that involved my song "Back In Black" although it might not be TOO snappy because when you start to think about it, the mathematics get really super complicated and you wanna be super careful what you say to a homo negro drag queen especially if he/she is holding your big balls.



If I was That Big Tall Negro Drag Queen RuPaul, I would schedule some publicity stunt in Bopal India to commemorate The DuPont Chemical Plant Disaster that killed thousands and thousands of indians. I'm not sure exactly what the stunt would entail, but imagine the possibilities, DuPaul, RuPont, RuPol, BoPaul etc... combine that with "Black Cloud of Death" or something along those lines... I mean, can you smell a comeback?... holy shit, he could even say THAT.


If I was The Main PR Dude For Dow Chemical, The Company Actually Responsible For The Bopal Disaster, I would sit back and giggle maniacally about my plan to gradually shift blame to DuPont by getting RuPaul to do the big Bopal Disaster Anniversary TV Special. Once again a negro in drag doing the white man's bidding. Genius.



If I was An Actual Genius, I'd get pretty sick of reading the word "genius" here on this moronic blog. But then again, I'd have bigger problems like chronic painful back acne and trying to get Linux to run on my toaster, so I'd probably just let it fly.



If I was a Regular Toaster, I think it'd be cool to burn the fuck out of toast even on the lightest beige setting and then when the "genius" was trying to get the toast out with a fork, I'd shock the crap out of him and shoot the flaming toast out into his face and then I'd blast that AC/DC song "Back in Black" at a billion decibels into his ugly ear. Of course the coffee maker would try to blast the same song about black coffee, but I did it first and how is the coffee maker gonna shock somebody or make flames? Although scalding black coffee is pretty cool. Whatever, we could team up.




P.S. Racist toasters don't burn toast.

P.S.S. Come to think of it, they don't even work.

P.S.S.S. Just when you thought racism was awesome too.

That's all for now.
Don't get caught smacking your Jell-o to teach it a lesson about staying still.
Your Loving Sister,
Saddam Hussein