If I Was a Dead Feminist Grandmother's Lazy Tornado Boner
If I was A Tornado That Was Shaped a Little Bit More Like a Schlong Than Your Average Tornado, I would twist and blow my way over between two hills that were shaped a little bit more like boobs than your average hills and I'd just keep going back and forth between them over and over and over so that some weatherman's dream could come true and he could finally say the word Pornado on the nightly news.
If I was a Weatherman With a Boner Live On The 6 O'clock News, I'd Probably try really hard to think about something really gross like my naked grandma or a dead cat to try to make it go away but then I'd might get really nervous for a second because those aren't things that I normally think about so who the fuck knows how my boner is going to behave given the weirdness of the cameras and all? Better just stick with thinking about what would happen if I used it as a pointer and then thonked it on the lead anchorwoman's chin. May as well.
If I was a Feminist Anchorwoman Trapped in a Giant Monster's Nuttsack, I might wanna tone down my act a bit and try to get along with all the sperms floating around me because they really don't seem to be the most rational creatures in the world and I wouldn't want one of them trying to drill his egghead up my butt or something. Does that make sense?
If I was a Really Super Lazy But Abnormally Intelligent Sperm, I'd just chill out and hang back for a few dozen ejaculation cycles just tryin to get a feel for what type of sperms have the most ambition and drive and whatnot, then when a fresh group of young sperms came in, I'd have them all profiled to the point where I'd know just the right things to say to get all up in their heads and fuck with their game to the point where they'd be all swimmin' the wrong way down the tubes and I'd basically just waltz up to the egg all by myself and casual like and I'd tap on it and say something like "Open it up bitch, Daddy's HOME."
That's all for now.
Don't get caught thinking about a feminist anchorwoman flying out of a monster's boner.
Your Grandmother's High School Sweetheart,
Miracle Whip
I have been thinking about kittens since 5:18 PM
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people pooping on parties
