Yoko Ono
When I need fresh perspective about how it feels to sadly schlepp along with a total ignoramus who spends her life barfing out unqualified, unmerited, unhelpful opinions every 3.2 nanoblips, I'll consider coaxing your sister out of her noose and down off the kitchen table and kindly request, in writing, for HER opinion. In the mean time, it would be lovely if YOU would keep YOUR bullshit to yourself.
AKA shut up.
Thanks.
It's really not that hard.
I mean, do you know even one dust speck about automobile engines? No? Then quit pointing at the windshield wiper fluid and get back in the car.
I know, it's very tempting, I mean it would be just soooo much easier to just loosen those chappy lips and let that turd roll out for everyone to admire in horror. I'm sure it must be rather unpleasant to have a mouth full of horseshit. I can't imagine it tastes like candy or chocolate or anything, so I can kinda understand why you would wanna just spit it all out all over the internet. But trust me, that's not the answer.
SERIOUSLY. You don't want people to even know that you HAVE a mouthful of poo. People don't really like poo mouthed people. Or rather: People don't like people that they KNOW for CERTAIN have a yap full of crap.
Lucky for you ---- you're in charge of that mouth. THEY DON'T HAVE TO KNOW!
If your cake hole is full of ass fudge, ------ doo dee doo doo dooo ------ dance dance dance --
DON'T OPEN IT!!
There are other options.
You look a little confused.
Oh, I get it. You are UNAWARE that your blower is filled with turds. Guess I shouldn't be surprised.
Here, do this:
Next time you're standing around with Paul, John, George and Ringo and a topic comes up and all kinds of crazy shit starts floating, rolling, gushing, plopping, dripping, shooting or even EXPLODING out of the mouths of your team members..... DON'T JOIN RIGHT IN! -- slow down. Take a minute to consider what exactly it is that you have in your mouth. Roll it around, move it back and forth with your tongue, try to press it into the back of your teeth. Is it yummy and minty and sweet like candy? Or is it hot and putred like poop? If you are unsure and you have a mint in your pocket, flick it in there and compare.
There is no rush here, take your time, it's worth it.
Or , you can just go on spraying out donkey shit like a flailing unmanned diarrhea fire hose.
I really don't give a fuck.
I'm just trying to help.
Aaaahhh minty --- no?
amen.
Now a girl:
Oh yeah, one more thing. All opinions about art are poo. The best you can hope for is a minty poo. But it's poo nonetheless.
Besides, your art sucks.
That's all for now.
Don't get caught jamming altoids up your butt.
Your Dentist,
Cindy Brady
