BTW, Butterface is Right Now Licking Out The Final Smears From a Gallon of Nacho Cheese We Killed

The Mormon Church counsels it's members to always have on hand at least a two year supply of healthy food and water so when Jesus comes back and the sinners and gentiles are all stumbling around the atomic wasteland (sent to bring on the bunny and flower filled millennium), choking on the ghastly fumes of burning gays and catholics, the Saints can remain safe and fat, all tucked into their basement armageddon shelters, enjoying whole wheat pasta, brown rice, bottled peaches and mustard pickles.

One thousand years of peace the millennium will supposedly be.

Not kidding about the flowers and bunnies.

Despite having 10 kids in the house and a senile gramma, my mom and step dad did their best to keep the food storage room/armageddon shelter stocked full, which was great, it was like a store filled with food, right there in the basement. Too bad it really was just crappy whole wheat heath food and freeze dried pork-n-beans.

My mom was really against junk food. 6 of my step brothers and sisters were guilt-beamed to near death for even ACTING like they wanted Froot Loops or soda, which of course made a box of Froot Loops worth it's weight in gold, creating an intricate black market of halloween candy, Pepsi-Free and cups full of plain white sugar. Kids of health food Mormon doomsdayists understand the economies of black markets better than anyone. It's no wonder so many grow up to work for the FBI. Look it up.

Anyway, among the freeze dried peas, carrots, creamed corn sealed tight in gallon tin cans, one day I discovered a can labeled "Cheddar Cheese Powder".

That can became my best friend for the next year. It really was Cheddar Cheese Powder. Not really like the cheese dust on cheese puffs or the cheese stuff in mac and cheese, it was a strong, super duper orange cheese dust that could choke you in the most cheesiest fashion if you were so foolish/lucky to inhale as you scooped a spoonful into your mouth. I eventually figured out the best method was just to lick my finger, stick it in the dust, then lick it again. One lick was like the equivalent of ten slices of cheese so I really pretty much limited myself to maybe ten or twenty licks a day.

If the millennium was gonna be as finger lickin' good as that year I spent with that can of Cheddar Cheese Powder, well, now you know why I didn't abandon the faith til I was 24.

Julianna - Elvis

Julianna - Deitada

Julianna - Dirty Red Stairs

Julianna - Bag of Flowers

Julianna - Holding One of Hundreds of Cheese Puffs With Matching Shoes, Underwear, and Cheese Puff Gloves™ That Make Complete and Total Sense and You Just Watch Some Cheese Puffs Company Steal This Idea And Make Hundreds of Dollars

That's all for now.
Don't get caught walking like one leg is shorter than the other one.
Your Expert at All Things Powdered,
The Mormon Church