OK. I Admit I Cried at The Concert The Night Before But They Did That 9/11 Names Stuff So Cram It

So yeah, I have these rockstar friends and whenever they are in town, almost without fail, we eat and get drunk at my house, it's tradition. A number of years ago they were opening for U2 and the secret (mostly mine) plans were to get U2 to join us at my house. Not really a tall order considering the tour and the fact that my rockstar friends, on different tours, shared the same personal bodyguard as Bono and this bodyguard became a friend of mine and he'd been to my house a number of times, remarking on how much he thought Bono would dig the place.

Yeah, that's right, my house is more fun and interesting than anything in SF so suck it.

Anyway, I'm not a star struck type but U2 is like the biggest band in the world. So I join my friends for dinner at the Clift hotel and most of the U2 guys are there too sitting all around in the Red Room eating expensive food and it occurs to me that despite my undeniable rockstar presence I'm basically the only non ACTUAL rockstar at the table.

Dinner is wrapping up and, just like my rockstar friends said it would happen, one of the U2 dudes who wasn't The Edge or Bono says:

"So what's on the schedule tonight?" as if to be putting out the feelers for something fun to do -- ie MY HOUSE.

My rockstar friends all look at me because this is the part where I am supposed to invite everyone over for drinks but all I can think of is all these limos and security people with walkie talkies rolling up to my house and how Bono might need to take a crap on my toilet and he might snoop through my sunglasses collection and steal my flavor or maybe the neighbors would find out and a bunch of fans would show up and bum rush my house or maybe even worse, that I'd run home to prep the place only to have the plans change and then I'm sitting there at home waiting for Bono who never shows up and I feel like some ugly girl stood up for prom.

It only took me one second to think all that.

So there they all are waiting for my invitation as planned but what comes out of my mouth is:

"What's wrong with this place? Nice lighting and a good selection of booze plus we're already here!"

Thing is, i didn't even WANT to say that -- it was a total CHOKE.

I don't remember what we did that night but I do remember getting minor shit from my rockstar friends for not inviting U2 to my house, which in and of itself seems pretty fucking cool, like I'm all "U2 - ACCESS DENIED!" which is how I SHOULD tell the story even though the truth is that I was a just a wuss.

Probably wouldn't have come anyway.

Snore.

Now Jessie:

Jessie - 2 Blondes by a Blaze w/ 2 Types of Boners for 2 Types of Bonos & 2 Tiny Stoners, 2 Don Rickles, 4 Bottles of Pickles, 2 Squirts, 2 Squids, 1 Fox, 2 Fish, a Velvet Elvis in a Pelvis, 1 Castle on a Cake and a Bunch of Skulls (2 Real, 4 Fake)

Jessie - SkyCam

Jessie - Black White Red and Yellow

That's all for now.
Don't get caught listening to the rushing sound of names dropping out of your butt.
Your Cries Too Much Champ,
Montell Williams