World Politics With Dirt Devil

merkley???: i am prepping my house for maid service
which means i am deep cleaning and organizing every square inch
it is a month long proposition
i started with my bedroom
now my work room is almost done, then on to the living room
every single item is getting put in its right place
every safety pin, penny, nut, screw, button, all of it
thanks for listening

kelly: whoa! really!?
that sounds like a MAJOR project

merkley???: it is
kinda therapeutic
new leaf type shit

kelly: totally. have you found anything awesome that you forgot all about?

merkley???: not really
i have been tossing anything that is meaningless
i'm pretty sentimental so organization is key
as you know i keep a lot

kelly: that's crazy. i want to come over and see the final result

merkley???: well you prob wont notice as much as me
it's mostly going through suitcases, drawers, boxes, cabinets etc..

kelly: making room for new shit to collect

merkley???: ha ha -- prob, BUT no more dust
once i get done with the initial clean its maid time

kelly: how often will the maid come?

merkley???: i'd say twice a month would be sufficient

kelly: yeah

merkley???: but i am also getting strangely nostalgic for saturday cleaning that i had to do as a kid
every saturday we had major house cleaning chores
i hated it

kelly: hahaah

merkley???: i want to get the house to the point that when i interview a maid she will be impressed with how clean it is already

kelly: hahaha
so you are already doing the deep cleaning type stuff?
like wiping down bookshelves and stuff?

merkley???: totally, and of course i will go on about how embarrassed i am about how "filthy" it is..

kelly: HAHAHAH
to set high standards

merkley???: like i'm the most anal man in the world
man i'm so excited
ha ha
break out the scented candles
i'm turning gay

kelly: i'd be excited too
what made you decide to do this?

merkley???: Snortzle's allergies.
i'm putting small items in bottles
any non transparent container gets a label
no more searching for things
all things that go together will be together
oh wait, yes i did find something awesome i forgot about
500 bucks

kelly: no way!

merkley???: that was on day one

kelly: where was it stashed?

merkley???: under some blankets in the cage dealie
which is now a luxurious dog house
butterface loves it
moved in 20 minutes after i set it up with the fuzzy blankets
snortz goes in there too unless i'm on the bed then they both join me but butterface sometimes bails if i turn my back and she's not top priority.

kelly: cute, do you remember putting the money in there?

merkley???: no i dont remember why i would have put it there unless it was laying out before a party
i should spend it right away

kelly: on......................A MAID!

Now Cynthia:

That's all for now,
Don't get caught counting the change in the dust pan to see what your hourly worth is.
Your Hazmat Schlubb,
Dirt Devil

merkley???: i am prepping my house for maid service
which means i am deep cleaning and organizing every square inch
it is a month long proposition
i started with my bedroom
now my work room is almost done, then on to the living room
every single item is getting put in its right place
every safety pin, penny, nut, screw, button, all of it
thanks for listening

kelly: whoa! really!?
that sounds like a MAJOR project

merkley???: it is
kinda therapeutic
new leaf type shit

kelly: totally. have you found anything awesome that you forgot all about?

merkley???: not really
i have been tossing anything that is meaningless
i'm pretty sentimental so organization is key
as you know i keep a lot

kelly: that's crazy. i want to come over and see the final result

merkley???: well you prob wont notice as much as me
it's mostly going through suitcases, drawers, boxes, cabinets etc..

kelly: making room for new shit to collect

merkley???: ha ha -- prob, BUT no more dust
once i get done with the initial clean its maid time

kelly: how often will the maid come?

merkley???: i'd say twice a month would be sufficient

kelly: yeah

merkley???: but i am also getting strangely nostalgic for saturday cleaning that i had to do as a kid
every saturday we had major house cleaning chores
i hated it

kelly: hahaah

merkley???: i want to get the house to the point that when i interview a maid she will be impressed with how clean it is already

kelly: hahaha
so you are already doing the deep cleaning type stuff?
like wiping down bookshelves and stuff?

merkley???: totally, and of course i will go on about how embarrassed i am about how "filthy" it is..

kelly: HAHAHAH
to set high standards

merkley???: like i'm the most anal man in the world
man i'm so excited
ha ha
break out the scented candles
i'm turning gay

kelly: i'd be excited too
what made you decide to do this?

merkley???: Snortzle's allergies.
i'm putting small items in bottles
any non transparent container gets a label
no more searching for things
all things that go together will be together
oh wait, yes i did find something awesome i forgot about
500 bucks

kelly: no way!

merkley???: that was on day one

kelly: where was it stashed?

merkley???: under some blankets in the cage dealie
which is now a luxurious dog house
butterface loves it
moved in 20 minutes after i set it up with the fuzzy blankets
snortz goes in there too unless i'm on the bed then they both join me but butterface sometimes bails if i turn my back and she's not top priority.

kelly: cute, do you remember putting the money in there?

merkley???: no i dont remember why i would have put it there unless it was laying out before a party
i should spend it right away

kelly: on......................A MAID!

Now Cynthia:

Cynthia - Deitada

That's all for now,
Don't get caught counting the change in the dust pan to see what your hourly worth is.
Your Hazmat Schlubb,
Dirt Devil