Next Time I'll Lick The Death Off of My Fingers Before I Go Poking Around in Eyeball City

When I went to pour myself my regular shot of whiskey I take just before going out on the town, there was what appeared to be a goose down feather resting just above the lid of the Jim Beam, as I went to brush it aside it's little transparent feather tentacles moved. It wasn't a feather, it was a very very fragile white spider, a baby perhaps, maybe even a spider ghost. Didn't matter, it had no business blocking my booze so I dealt with it by snapping it between my thumb and middle finger instantly vaporizing it's transparent little spider existence.

You could only be so lucky to die in such a manner.

With a snap of the fingers.

So awesome, so humane.

I rubbed the evening nap out of my eyes, picked out some sunglasses, hailed a cab and was off to meet some girls for a drink. In the cab my left eye began to itch, like maybe when I rubbed my eyes, I had rubbed a little too hard, or maybe got a speck of dust in it. I kept rubbing to try to get whatever it was out, but it only seemed to be making it worse. When I got to the booze place, my eye was watering and had only grown more itchy. It was so bad that I had to ignore my friends completely and go back to the bathroom to see what the fuck was up. when I looked in the mirror my entire eye was swollen nearly shut. I looked like Rocky Balboa. The white part of my eye was bright pink and swollen so badly that my iris actually appeared to be inset. Obviously I wasn't going to be having drinks with girls.

"I rubbed spider guts in my eye." I said to the cab driver.

"Huh?" he said.

"Nothing." I said. I thought of showing him the freakshow that was now my left eye, but I didn't want him to scream in horror and crash into a building.

Anyway, Google told me that unless it was a black widow or a recluse, I'd be fine. I took a few pictures of myself looking like a 90 year old jewish wizard and went to sleep.

Next evening my eye was normal again.

That all you got Spider Faggot?

Now Cyan:

Cyan - Sofa

That's all for now.
Don't get caught only taking pictures of the swollen eyeball with only your cameraphone even though you have one billion better cameras but you're too lazy to get up.
Your Ninety Year Old Jew Area
Left Eyeball Region