A Christmas Miracle at The DMV, The Stupidest Bank Teller at The Stupidest Bank on Earth & My DMV Photographer Who Obviously Hates My Flickr Stream
Yeah, so it turns out the best day of the year to go to the DMV is Christmas Eve. The lines were short. I scored 100% on my written test. I was in and out in 10 minutes. Truly a Christmas miracle. More proof that having no respect for Jesus pays.
Also today at the Bank of America, where the lines were also non-existent, a man walked up to the teller next to mine with a bunch of ziploc bags with various amounts of loose change in each one.
"I'd like to change my daughters savings here into paper money." Said the man as his daughter held his hand with a proud look on her face.
"I'm sorry we don't take change unless it's in rolls." Said the stupidest looking teller ever born.
"Huh? Isn't this the bank? My daughter would just like to have some bills for her christmas shopping today."
"Well we just don't take coins unless they are in rolls."
"Aren't you guys the ones who PUT change into rolls? Isn't this where we GET rolls of coins?" He said as his daughter's face grew confused.
"Yes it is but we don't have the machine to count change and put it into rolls." The Stupidest Teller In The World said in a fake nice voice.
"What the mother fucking fuck?" Every single person within earshot said, some out loud, some in their head, some in sign language and one person even mouthed out the words with his 95 year old anus. The little girl turned back into a fetus, then into and egg and a sperm. The egg popped like a bubble. The sperm cracked his little tail like a whip and shot up though the ceiling leaving a hole ten feet wide. Then it snowed poop on us all for one billion years.
The bank can't count change.
The bank can't count change.
The bank can't count change.
Oh yeah, back at the DMV the little mexican driver's license photographer woman was being all flirty and nice to the two people who had their pictures taken before me.
"You look beautiful" She said to the old woman with the white hair and red clown lips as she snapped 3 or 4 photos for just the right pose.
"Chin up, chin down, gimme a handsome smile." She said to Coolio as she snapped off 10 photos, 1 for him, 9 for her wallet.
"Too much hair." She said to me as she hastily snapped one measly picture when I wasn't even ready and totally looking off to the side like an old woman was flapping her boobs off to my left.
"Can I get a do over?" I said with a smile.
"No, it's fine."
RUDE.
Now Alicia:
That's all for now.
Don't get caught trying to use an expired drivers license at the bank.
Your Completely Obvious Fact,
Expired DL Means You Are No Longer You RUDOLPH, I Don't CARE if Your Nose GLOWS, A GLOWING RED NOSE IS NOT VALID IDENTIFICATION!!
I have been thinking about kittens since 8:10 PM
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people pooping on parties
