Plus One Time His Mom Frowned at Me for Making Fun of Lawrence Welk
In high school I had a friend who's parents were in their early 100s. I used to tell him that they probably kidnapped him because he was the only one with a uni-brow and his older brothers and sisters were in their 70s, 80s and 90s. He swore I was exaggerating and that his folks weren't that much older than mine, but yet the following two items are irrefutable FACTS that prove I was right.
1. His mother saved the styrofoam blood-slab/juice-tray dealies that come plastic-wrapped underneath grocery store meat and whenever we wanted an after school snack, she would pull one of them from the cram-packed cupboard for us to use as a paper plate alternative, only when we were done snacking, she wouldn't throw it away like you'd expect, SHE WOULD WASH IT AND PUT IT BACK!. Plus her name was Phyllis. OLD CITY.
2. When driving 10 miles an hour with his "Dad" we would change the channel from his "Dad's" favorite Elevator Muzak station to one of our rock stations and his "Dad" would say shit like "Now why in sam hill do they gotta go and god damn ruin a perfectly good god damn song by adding all them god damn words and god damn singing?" and my friend would say "Dad, these word versions come FIRST." and then his dad would say "Oh Balderdash!" Plus his name was Henry. OLD CITY.
Adrienne - Acting Kinda Dinner-Like
While Surrounded By Six Pretend Adrienne Clones
Pretend Waiting to Eat Her
Adrienne - Flanked By Clones, Enjoys Energy Booze & Queenishly Poses on a Wicker Throne as a Folksy Crucified Jesus Appears To Intervene in a Potential Melée Between His 12 Disciples, Two Roosters & a Plate of Nachos (Cow Products at 12, 3, 6 & 9 O'Clock)
That's all for now.
Don't get caught staring at the ear hair.
Your Embassador of The Basket Ass Door,
That Basketball Dude What Hates The Gays