Peeping Will Ferrell Sniffs The Christmas Tree, The Pastrami Pants Kid & The Backwards Dental Piano™

Went to New York for a minute. An old girlfriend works at SNL so we did pornish type things on the set when nobody was around. I think Will Ferrell might have seen us but he pretended like he didn't.

He pretended he was smelling the Christmas tree.

When I went shopping a little later someone let all the kangaroos loose which of course woke up all the napping children. Kangaroos are just giant rats you know. Same with some kids. I don't think malls should be keeping so many caged kangaroos anyway cuz this sort of think is bound to happen. Kangaroos gotta bounce man.

Fuckin Australians.

Speaking of napping & kids, my friend blatantly lied about a dead dog to his kid, telling him that the dog wasn't dead when it clearly wasn't "just napping".

Hi guts all over the place.

A little later I found out my friend had also been lying to the whole world about his kid being a boy when, as I accidentally and quite unfortunately found out at the swimming pool, he is clearly a girl. Ok not CLEARLY. I'll spare yalls deets but my brain is scarred with the images of whatever weird genitalia that kid had fluttering out of his/her swimming trunks.

Anyway, no more pastrami for me thanks.

On the other side of the pool kids were swimmoshing™ to Green Day and the Teletubbies who have apparently made an album together and are now on tour. I have to admit, as much as I don't like Green Day, the Teletubbies added a much needed twist to their schtick.

Nearly tolerable -- NEARLY.

Of course as soon as they spotted me they forced me to join them as a guest keyboardist on stage for a song or two. Somehow they managed to have my Backwards Dental Piano™ flown in just for the show.

The Backwards Dental Piano™ btw, is exactly what you might imagine, unless of course you aren't imagining loose wiggly bloody backwards teeth instead of keys.

What the fuck were you imagining anyway?

Point is: ultimately I had a cranberry jelly and mustard sandwich for dinner because Thanksgiving is right around the corner and I like mustard.

Summary:
Kids are perverts.

Now Le Dinosaur:

Le Dinosaur - SkyCam with Dirty Sidewalk, Chippy Stairs, PG&E Dealies, Pizza, Cigarrettes, Royal Gate, Pepper & Tyranosaurus Rex

BUY MY BOOK DOOD!

That's all for now,
Don't get caught pigeonholing every elf in sight.
Your Legumlican National Convention Key Note Speaker,
Hominy The Nominee