Secret Balloon Animals at The Australian Plumbers Convention, Scheisty Tom Cruise Effs Up The Hot Dog Talks & A Little Too Much Stay Loose For Dad

Since I haven't had a job since 1991 you might say that I am a bit out of touch with "office culture".

I just did air quotes.

But of course you'd be WRONG because you don't know that I regularly go on company outings. I find out about them by eavesdropping.

Anyway, I just got back from a company outing in Australia. Plumbers they were. They made all sorts of secret balloon creatures, it was very culty, sorta moose lodgey and perhaps a bit free masonry.

"Free masonry!? Sign me up, I need a new chimney and I'm BROKE!"

See how I tied in the first reference to "office culture" with a joke that sounds like it might come from whatshisname boss dude from "The Office"?

I do that sometimes.

As I was saying, I ate their only cookie.

If you didn't know how to make a bunch of Australian plumbers sad, you do now.

Oh yeah, the girl that was hosting the convention thingy was naked.

Also, Tom Cruise was negotiating my hot dog contract with the Bush People and was totally pulling the old "But Will Mexicans Work Here?" trick.

Gee that sounded gay.

Gee.

I mean GEE.

What does a gay horse eat?

HAAY!

Later on I discovered my dad, also in Australia, living in complete squalor. When dad goes on vacation, he vacates EVERYTHING .

NICE TURD ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR DAD.

Point is:
Australians LOVE Men at Work.

Sorry for yelling.

Now Julianna:

Juliana - Sofa

THAT GIRL UP THERE IS IN MY BOOK!

That's all for now.
Don't get caught repeating GEE three times when WHIZZ wouldda been better even with the whole gay tie in.
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