Indian Giving is Totally Racist, My Brothers Multi-Level Back Yard Fish Ballet Facilities & The Fatty What Tried to Gank My Sweater

I was getting rid of a bunch of old printed material containing my art, CD booklets, posters, flyers etc.. I distributed it evenly amongst the interested parties, but half way through I realized that much of the items were actually original drawings and paintings so I scrambled to get them back.

As if I'd miss them, they have been locked away for decades.

I sold my brother my house in SLC over 10 years ago, I only just barely went back to visit. He totally remodeled it, wasn't even recognizeable, probably 5 times the square footage as before.

The main attraction was the multi level pool in the back yard. What a thing of beauty, I have never seen anything like it. The water was super warm, it looked like a man made architectural version of those emerald colored paint pot hot springs in yellowstone that they say are five billion degrees.

The pools were stocked with a huge variety of exotic fish which he trained to do all sorts of tricks and choreography. I had no idea fresh water fish could be so colorful let alone trained to do loopdeloops and fish ballet etc.. Some of them could even spell things and make funny shapes with their bubble streams, kinda like how planes do it with colored smoke at air shows. How he doesn't have a show on the Back Yard Remodeling Channel is beyond me. Top level shit.

His old lady roommates LOVE him.

When I woke up this morning there was a huge ass spider web above the other side of the bed with a huge fucking spider smack dab in the middle. It could have eaten my dogs. I'm glad the girl didn't stay over last night.

Last item: Yesterday a big huge fat girl had my favorite sweater claiming she "found it downtown". A) it's vintage from the forties B) it's one of a kind hand made, C) I have pictures of me wearing it.

Nice try fatty.

Point is:
Animals take note:
We Don't Eat Animals Who Do Tricks.

Now Natalie:

Natalie - Smokes While Pretending to Wait For The Bus Behind a T-Bone Steak Resting on a Hurst Shifter Equipped Transmission Under a Quasi Snooze Proof Muni Shelter with Existential Vandalism, a Half Hidden Blue Billed Duck & a Small Sony Transistor Radio

WHAT BOOK?

That's all for now.
Don't get caught making the goldfish roll over.
Your Oldest Roommate,
A Jar of Hellman's Mayo Crica 1987