74 Things I Learned About Being Mentioned In The New York Times
1. The New York Times doesn't link to boobs :( FUCKERS!
7. The New York Times doesn't generate mad hits on my websites. LOSERS!
18. The New York Times thinks I "might have amounted to nothing in analog times." Probably true but still... BASTARDS!
42. The New York Times round aboutly compared me to a "failed filmmaker." WELL I NEVER!
51. The New York Times slices the pie like this: 9 slices for Guoleifsdottir, 2 slices for merkley. JERKS!
60. The New York Times doesn't like the three question marks that take up the last three spots of my name. RACISTS!
72. The New York Times is not perused by any members of my family or close friends. RETARDS!
73. The New York Times asks Thomas Hawk what he thinks. KNOWITALL!
12. The New York Times mentions Vikram Chatwal (pictured above) WAY more than me.
74. "The New York Times" dropped into various conversations with any human, dog or reflective surface who will listen along with "yeah they mentioned me in this ginormous article about radness..." makes you sound like a dick.
FINALLY SOMETHING GOOD ABOUT BEING MENTIONED IN THE NEW YORK TIMES!
THANKS NEW YORK TIMES!.
Now Vikram Chatwal:
Vikram Chatwal - Half Billionaire Former Playboy Sikh Hotelier Takes No Calls While Enjoying a Burrito & Ice Cold L.A. Tap Water in Borrowed Mickey Mouse Boxers & Patriotic Turban on a Filthy Dollar Concealing Mattress in Room 111 of The Hollywood Premier Motel
BTW I Took That picture of Vikram for India's equivalent to People Magazine but they hated it and didn't use it.
Vikram in NYTimes
Vikram Chatwal Wikipedia
75. The New York Times Forgot to mention my BOOK!!! ASSHOLES!
That's all for now.
Don't get caught yelling "I WAS MENTIONED IN THE NEW YORK TIMES!!" at a bunch of kids on the swings.
Your Favorite Thing To Yell Into The Toaster,
I WAS MENTIONED IN THE NEW YORK TIMES!!