I Survived Two Plane Crashes in One Afternoon, I Parade Preached The Fuck Out of Them Brazilians, & The Scientific Squishy Can of Beans
Got in a plane crash yesterday. We smashed right down into the water about mid flight. Luckily we weren't going fast enough to blow the plane up. The worst part was that the rescue plane crashed right into us instead of rescuing us. The main thing I remember are all the plastic plates falling off the shelves and the huge engine chunks flying towards us.
I never really realized how realistic the plane crash scenes are on LOST until it happened to me.
That show is SUPER realistic let me tell YOU.
Unfortunately the island we landed on was basically a big huge brazilian ghetto. It reminded me so much of my days as a Mormon missionary that I almost unwillingly snapped bak into preacher mode. Apparently I'm still really good at it because it wasn't long before they rolled out the bleachers all along the main street where I gave one hundred sermons in my own little one man parade.
Afterwards, a really sweet Brazilian girl tried to give me a hand job, which isn't something I'm totally against, except she was already giving a hand job to some dude with an uncircumcised dong the size of a can of beans.
She tried to get me to touch it. The wang, that is. I'll admit I was ever so slightly tempted, not because I'm homo but because I wanted to see if it was as squishy as it looked.
Sometimes ya gotta get your hands dirty.
There will be time for scientific wang touching some other time. I passed.
Later I practiced getting the language right with the in-laws.
I wasn't easy.
People who don't swear are hiding something.
Now Violet Blue:
Violet Blue - Stands Smoking & Drinking Gasoline, in a Lasso Shaped Circle of Matches, in The Kitchen, With Explosives in The Oven, on The Stove & in The Fridge While an Open One Gallon Can of Karate Lies Open on The Floor
BUY A BOOK AND GET SMART
That's all for now,
Don't get caught saying you didn't touch it when you really did give it a little squeeze just to see.
Your Favorite Scientist,